Friday, April 6, 2018

And a 1 and a 2 and a 3.

1. I worked until 7 pm today on this Friday. Course i didn’t go in until 10:30. But still it was a full day. And i liked it! But then again it’s cause i was mostly working alone with no phones ringing (it’s spring break over here). I am fortunate that i get this gig with working my old job where i don’t have to do the stuff i hated to do.

2. I have lately been buying a lot of casual dresses. And here’s why. Jeans are so not comfortable. AND the underpants you need to wear with jeans are also horrible. You are always digging them out of your butt or trying to make sure they don’t show over your waistband. Not to mention sometimes the jeans are just a little bit tighter than other times. Not only that i have started bowling in dresses and folks are cracking up over it.  But the first time i bowled in a dress i rolled a 152, a 142 and then my last game (maybe due to my second Mac N Jack microbrew) i bowled an 89. But those were my highest games in years. I give credit to the dress.

3. If you are over 6o years old and have ever bent over and looked at your knees and how the skin sags it will make you a little depressed. ALSO if you ever do planks with just wearing a sports bra and running tights and get a look at your stomach (even though i don’t have a pot belly), the way it looks is not how i was expecting. Also a bit depressing.

4. Heading into old age is not as fun i think as being there will be. I made a new year’s resolution to not talk too much about getting older and I’m trying to stick with it. But sometimes it’s hard.

5. Hahaha... i was trying to find a photo from my iPad (which is how I’m posting) but somehow it doesn’t allow me to do this. And i found this cause i checked “from my phone” thinking maybe it would allow me to go through and add one of my many photos, but only this one showed up. I don’t even remember this one. Or when it was taken, but my hair is a bit shorter so it must be about two summers ago.)

7. OOps, i can’t tell if I’m on #7 or not, cause the iPad is terrible for posting on blogger and i can’t scroll up. Anyway i watched a great Netflix show about Rajneesh guru back in the 1980’s who settled in Oregon and owned all those Rolls Royces. It was fascincating. I binged watched four of the six episodes earlier this week when i wasn’t working. (I only had about 1,000 steps on my Vivofit that day.) I want to talk to someone about it whoever has seen it. It’s really good. It’s called  “Wild Wild Country”. 

8. (Maybe or maybe it’s #6 or even #9....Where are you ummagumma anyway? I hope you are well. )

9. I just realized i do not recognize those sunglasses i am wearing in this photo. Am i wearing someone else’s?  Actually i think Brian must have put this photo together cause i don’t know how to do a quadruple photo, (Andy Warholish? 

10. “Whiter Shade Than Pale” just came on Pandora. Some songs are so classic that they will never ever go out of style. This is one of those. I love this song. This is making me think of other songs like that. I think i will leave it for a brand new blog post next time i write one though. So i’ll Sign off. 



Friday, March 30, 2018

Dancing With Myself.

Remember that Billy Idol song? Of course if you were still here blogging you might say. "Oh yes! I totally remember that song!" And then we could have a great discussion about all of those bad 1980's songs! And we would all be Googling the very worst titles! And it would go on for comment after comment. And it would be so much fun.

Anyway i keep hoping that maybe blogging will come back in fashion, like vinyl has. ESPECIALLY since Facebook is eating shit over the Cambridge Analytical firestorm. (AS THEY SHOULD!)

I am never going back to Facebook. I was reluctant to start in the first place (just as i was about getting a digital camera and a cell phone, though i have appreciation for the camera and i have managed to use the phone in moderation, unlike Facebook.)

Anyway, here i am because i need a writing outlet.  It's fun sometimes look back and see what i was thinking.

Enough introduction. Let's just number away and see where we go:

1. I got a $50 iTunes gift card for Christmas from my nephew Brian and his wife and i cannot find any music i want to buy. What i did buy is Linda Ronstadt's Heart Like a Wheel album. Ann Wilson from Heart has a cd coming out this summer (originally titled Dead Guys Music, but i think has been renamed to something more appropriate) -she's doing music by Tom Petty, Chris Cornell, David Bowie, Leonard Cohen songs. I will buy that one too!

2. I finished three books in one week by not being on Facebook. I had gotten away from reading in the months before quitting Facebook. (The downside of my reading frenzy is not all due to leaving FB, it's also insomnia - which i've had for awhile - made worse due to tinnitus (which started before Christmas and hasn't gone away...and also as before, runaway brain).  Brian got me some non-THC edible pot from a friend who sells it at a legal pot shop. So the next time i feel like i can't shut off my brain i'm using it. (I'll post here later to talk about how it went.)

3. In truth i have barely ever in my life smoked pot because i never smoked cigarettes and i didn't like the idea of inhaling anything.....I tried it a few times and actually liked it how it made me feel,  but i hate smoking and coughing. HOWEVER, edibles i can probably get into, now that it's legal. I just want them for those nights i know it's going to be bad. I told my friend Sarah, i can tell when that is going to happen just as i used to be able to tell that an orgasm just wasn't in the cards no matter how good in bed the guy i was with was or what he did. (Because sometimes your brain overrides your physical attraction/needs).

4. What i worry about: North Korea, China and Russia all banding together to upend America because of President idiot. (I decided that whatsisname doesn't even deserve a capital "I" in "idiot". )

5. What i don't miss about Facebook: (I am going to quit talking about this very soon, i promise, for anyone reading. I don't want to fall into that category of 'methinks she doth protest too much'.)

I wrote this to a friend recently and want to put it here. I don't like feeling beholding to people, or feeling obligated or being needed too much (especially by needy people). It's a reason i didn't want children.

I don't mean to say i would be a bad friend because most of my friends are self sufficient as i am. BUT if they did need me, i would be there. I don't seek out folks who are overly needy, thrive on chaos, are too self involved, or like wallowing in their misery. So my REAL friends on Facebook are not the problem.

What i realized shortly after leaving Facebook was that i was leaving behind a lot of shit that i was not interested in trying to keep up with. Like constantly having to feel like i needed to 'like' someone's baby photos, (even if they put up their thousandth photo of the baby). Or i worried i 'liked' one niece's baby photos more than the other's. I didn't like how i felt when i walked on by the people posting about feeling sick.But i could not understand why folks posted about every sniffle, cold, etc. (If you are so sick why are you posting on Facebook?) If you are able to post, then get your ass to work!

 I didn't like feeling obligated to wish a happy birthday to someone who was a 'friend' - but not really a friend i would enjoy going to lunch with. (I  had 'friends' who made requests of me which i accepted because that's what you do, right?)

I had too many friends, who were not friends at all and it wore me down.

Navigating the ongoing posts about dying children (or family members) were the worst.  (What do you say to someone you don't really know THAT well but they are your FB friend?)   Politics were also bad. Maybe the worst thing about Facebook . (Though i personally didn't have many folks on the opposite side as me, so i didn't get into it too much) ... Also those damed requests for signing petitions. Even when i agreed with the cause i hated them. It meant i would get a bunch more emails. My newsfeed was filled with ads i was constantly trying to hide and gawd damn the corny memes - i especially hated those ones that said "I love my daughter/son/mother/wife....etc etc. " (you know the ones. )  WTF? why does that deserve a post? Is that not a given? (And don't even get me started on i love my perfect husband posts...)

6. What i miss about Facebook:  SOME baby photos i really liked seeing. Especially those where the photographer has a good eye for a good photo. I also miss the book posts and my own book review NOTES. (Now i keep them in Notes on my iPad). Many friends helped me when i asked, especially with traveling (Pearl). I miss seeing some recipes and music posts. I learned about YouTube videos about Pilates (Alycia) that i am still using today, a couple of months later. But i can still find that stuff on my own and i have the emails of the folks i want to stay in touch with. and i also have Goodreads for books and i may start posting my reviews there. I like keep a list of books i have read.

7. I was thinking about Melania T. the other day. And what i would do if i were her. She would be a hero to women if she took her son and got the hell out of the Super White House and filed for divorce. And admitted that she never wanted that job in the first place .  Wouldn't it be cool if she resorted to physical domestic violence against him too. Like throw a Manolo Blahnik shoe at him, maybe stabbing him in the eye or better yet, his Twitter fingers,

8. I actually had to Google Manolo Blahnik because i couldn't remember that shoe. You know how i found it? I googled "Sex in the City shoes" ... hahahaha.

10. Back to the Beginning.... Worst 80's Songs: i would choose : "Lady in Red" (forget the dude's name who sang it) ; "Sussido" by Phil Collins comes to mind.




Saturday, March 17, 2018

The Reasons I Quit Facebook


I quit Facebook at the end of February when i was called back to work at my old job again. (I think this is my 6th gig working post-retirement now, which will be 5 years this August. Wow. those 5 years went by very quickly, but maybe because i was working?....)

Hahahaha I'm on my third glass of Foris Chardonnay (VERY good!) and i remembered to close the parenthesis that time. Normally my signature on this blog is i don't remember to do that.


The reason i quit Facebook:

1. ) I am still mad that FB contributed to president Cuckfunt because of how “news” was passed around with no controls. I also was flabbergasted and crazed by the comments from the pro-CF folks who had no problem using their real names when they posted such awful racist things and it made me mad and sad for our country.

2. ) I checked it way way way too much after retirement, even as i was bored with my newsfeed because it got pretty redundant with my FB friends who felt like i did politically. Some stuff i liked, and many people helped me over there, but lately my newsfeed was mostly CF news and advertisements.

3. ) A few days after the Parkland Florida school shooting I had a falling out with a FB friend who  posted a video on her feed from this wacko gun-nut job  S e a n   W h a l e n (edited to spread his name so that it doesn’t pop up in a search as i just saw that it did)  ranting about the shooting and how the students need to speak up more - to me,  it felt like he was blaming the other students ....(look him up if you want to see something crazy, that dude posted photos of his own kids posing with smug smiles holding semi automatic weapons. I would link his video here but i believe it’s only on his Facebook page.)

I was surprised to see that of all the news about that horrible school shooting, THAT was the video she chose to share. And all is said was that i might agree with his rant on the Parkland shooting if only he didn't have these kinds of photos on his page. And i posted two of the many he had with his young three kids ) posing with guns.  I thought maybe she didn't know and would want to know and take it down. I had never received a message from her before but i got one after my comment, reaming me for 'shaming' . I was so surprised. I thought i was doing her a favor by letting her know. Looking back now i think i should have messaged her instead but i had never done that before and i actually did want people to know that the dude was nut case. (He makes Ted Nugent look like Ghandi!)

 I tried to tell her that was not my intent. I explained how when I see someone now posting Fake News on Facebook I try to follow with a link that shows it’s fake and i felt his video deserved a similar comment.  I just thought maybe she didn't know how crazy that guy was. She did take the video down,  but not because of him - because of me posting the photos. And not once did she take issue with his message. So it occurred to me that maybe her politics might be a bit more extreme than I knew.

This latest school shooting put me over for tolerating any rabid pro-gun shit. So i unfriended her after i couldn't make her understand that i was trying to say there are better stories out there to share that that nut job.  When i unfriended her she got really mad so she in turn blocked me. (Damn, we were like middle school kids ourselves.) But i'm okay finding out where people stand and steering clear. And i am really tired of the political playground on Facebook. So that was one of the reasons that made it easier to do what i've been thinking about doing for awhile now.

4. ) Honestly, I don’t want to be friends with any Trump supporter (or anyone who thinks that dude Whalen is an okay guy). It's a line i draw now. Truth is, i don't need or want THAT many friends anyway. I'm enough of an introvert and only have time for so many people in my life before i need a day to decompress. Cutting off folks is not an issue for me when my values are crossed.

5. ) I think maybe because i was a military brat and had to move around a lot it made it easier for me to leave people. Probably made it easier to get divorced twice before i got it right.

6. ) And Facebook also had way too many ads that i spent so much time hiding. It creeped me out when i would look online to buy something and next thing i know that advertisement showed up in my newsfeed and other places . Also i unfollowed a lot of folks but they popped up because someone i didn’t unfollow shared their post. (I don't think that unfollow and hide works that great on Facebook.). If i came back i would like to keep it to only people i would like to have lunch or coffee or wine with.  But i didn't know how to not accept a friendship without feeling like a douche. I hardly ever sent out the request myself, some folks here might remember i resisted FB a long time (just as i did with digital cameras and cell phones).

7).  My time away from Facebook has been a nice reprieve. It would be great to add that i am sleeping better, but that's another story. I am surprised that i can honestly can say i don't miss it. I really thought i would cheat but haven't wanted to at all. I did make sure i had email addresses from a few of the people i want to stay connected with and the rest of FB folks i really want to stay in touch with i see in real life anyway. The family members in Louisiana didn't really connect with me much on FB anyway (I suspect they may have steered away because of politics) so i'm not missing much there.  I might come back with election Nov. 2018 because i have super high hopes for us. And i want to be a part of a community when we celebrate. But if that goes badly i think i might just step away forever.

 Other Stuff: 
Longest run this week: 40 minutes, also 40 minutes of Pilates On Demand. Still running every other day. Some days better than others. My new goal since i surpassed my old one of running at least until i was 60 is to make it to 62.

Books: I am reading FOUR right now. 1 Dead In the Attic about Katrina; Lincoln in the Bardos (it's kind of a weird one!) ;  a book about Introverts, (it think Quiet is in the title); and the one from embedded journalist from NBC Katy Tur on the Trump campaign called Unbelievable .

Best thing that happened: Sunshine, light until 7 pm. And last week i bowled a 152, a 142 and funny....my third game ended up being an 89. (My average so far has only been about 113).


Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Coming Soon. A New Random Post.

So without a Facebook page anymore i am going to blog again more often. At least that’s my plan. But i like having wine while doing it so i have to wait until i have a day when i am having wine. This weekend maybe, though it’s busy with babysitting and a one year old great niece birthday party afterwards. Maybe Friday, except i work until 6 pm. I started working at my old job last week, 3 days a week. They want me through August but i get to make my own hours and come in when i want to just so i get the stuff done they need me to do. I like that a lot. Once the weather gets better i can even walk to work. I’m just putting this here for reference because i forget these things when i get called back and sometimes i like to know.

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Where'd You Go Jo Cucina-EE-OO? Our nation turns it's weary eyes to you.

Hahaha! I am using ‘weary’ instead of ‘lonely’ cause if you are watching the news that fits better. Nobody listens to me, but at at the very least, Dear Abby's readers should. (If only i had the chance.)

Retrieved from an old Draft that was just sitting there. I started adding again with #5.

*. *. *. *. *. *. *. *.

I'm am still here. Even if nobody else is here. Yes, i missed December and January totally. Oh well. Recently i watched “The Graduate” and thought of this song.

1. I'm reading “Fire and Fury” by Michael Wolff which blows the doors off president Cuckfunt's Very White House. I am only halfway done.  I have to read it increments because i'm afraid my head will explode. It's too much to take in. It's great delicious gossip (that i have no trouble believing) but like too much Mexican food at one time, you can only take in so much.

2. Latest president (i wish i could make the word 'president' in a tiny tiny font, like Al Franken did in one of his books when he talked about liberal Paul Begala going up against Crossfire’s Robert Novak) CF shitstorm is his comment about Haiti, Africa and El Salvatore being 'shithole countries'. Then lying about having said it. Also the audacity of him telling a reporter that 'no one is less racist than i am.' The hits just keep coming.

3. Saw the movie "The Post" last night. If anything good comes out of this election term (and i do not mean plural when i say 'term') it might be that newspapers make a comeback. I check out The Washington Post online so often that i use up my allotment of free views early in the month so i think i might have to subscribe to an online subscription.

4. I'm supposed to start work at my old job....again. From the end of February to the end of March.  No commute! I'm not totally looking forward to it, but it's the time of year when things feel so blah that it might be a good thing. I might buy a fix portrait lens for my Nikon. They are pretty expensive. Or i might buy a better Soundbar for our TV...one of those Sonos thingies.

5. Written Feb. 8, 2018. At least i think it’s February 8th. Thank goodness for Alexa. I have Alexa giving me all my reminders about appointments, garbage days, birthdays etc. I use her for a lot, including my new Pilates workouts and timing my planks, ( though i swear she adds extra time beyond the minute for my planks!). I’m still running four days a week for about four miles too. But right now i’m a pound over my ‘magic weight’ for the past two weeks, leftover from the holidays i’m sure.

6. Finally quit the YMCA and decided to give up on Yoga and i am so relieved. And because i have no option of the Y anymore i find i am more committed to the On Demand workouts for Pilates and stretching. I am born for Pilates! It doesn’t boss me around about the stupid breathing, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, oh i hate that so much in Yoga! And i don’t have to get into any dumbass meditative state to do it. It’s exercise. It’s what i commit to best. So far so good on my third week and i love being able to do it at home. I even feel better in the morning waking up, not as wobbly and hurting.

7. The Olympics start tonight and i’m exciting to watch so i’m DVRing nearly everything. I love the skating, the short track, and the snowboarding and ski jumping and some Alpine skiing. Looking forward to watching even as i don’t know any of the athletes backgrounds yet.

8. Brian’s mom is still hanging in there though her mind is not all there, though it’s sometimes there. I haven’t seen her since Christmas. Come to think of it, i haven’t seen my own mom since Christmas! This month she has been on a feeding tube for a whole year. It really makes me think about getting older. I told Brian and my nephew Brian not to be too upset if i ever die before my time is up because i think i would be a terrible old person if my mind starts going. Brian’s mom was the sweetest lady and i don’t think i ever heard her say ‘damn’ or ‘shit’ but now she is using the N word and saying the F word. Very odd. Maybe in her regular life she wanted to cuss a lot more and just held back and without filters this is what we get. If that’s the case, then i will probably be okay as an old lady since i haven’t helped back THAT much.

9. But oh, boy, sometimes people don’t know how much i do. For example i don’t say a lot when it comes to Brian’s mom but i wonder how and why Brian and his sister hold on to so much hope or get kind of excited for those times when Alice is lucid and seems like herself. It’s not much of a trade in considering her condition which is nearly like being a quadriplegic. I feel like Alice knows her kids want her around and has this belief that she needs to be here for THEM. Their older brother isn’t doing as much or going over the pass to visit as often as Brian does. I think i’m starting to understand him better than i did before. IT’s not much of a life for Alice and i hope to God i never have to go that way.

10. Let’s end of a good note, shall we? Hmmmm. I’m going to put up this song. It’s maybe not a happy note, but it’s a good note, though a sad song. But a really really beautiful song. My nephew told me about the “May It Last Avett Brothers documentary. I’ve seen it twice now and have probably played this song about a dozen times now. It is a great song about life and death and what lies ahead. It would be beautiful for a memorial. I would like this played at my own memorial but they would have to edit out the last line of the song. Hahahaha.

No Hard Feelings

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Just Your Regular Stuff

I'm still here

An old fashioned random thoughts posting. I'm only drinking water. Maybe this will only end up being a draft since i get kind of bored writing the blog without wine! Listening to a Gillian Welch cd - the one with "Miss Ohio" on it. Kind of nice for a dark rainy early evening. 

1. A year ago we elected what i now refer to President Cuckfunt - (the two worst cuss words i can think of). It's kind of funny reading my Facebook Memory posts from last year. I had so much hope until the end. (I can also tell when i opened that other bottle of wine because i planned on staying up!) 

2. We survived a year! And today some good Democrats unseated some Republicans that i hope is a promise of things to come. If only the Democrats don't fuck it up. 

3. The Vegas shooting happened the same day when we heard about Tom Petty's death. And just this week there was another mass shooting in a church in Texas that left 26 dead, many of them children. 
So we're not safe in a concert. We're not safe in a school. We're not safe in a movie theater. We're not safe in a shopping mall. We're not even safe in church! 

I'm already a homebody enough and don't need another reason to become a full on agoraphobic. Oh the news. ...I just wish... i don't know what i wish. I think i wish we went back to news at 6 pm and again at 10 or 11 pm and forget about the 24 hour news cable channels. Maybe the mass shootings might not become so 'normal'. Just another day in America. 

4. When will people start to understand that prayers don't work and that laws might be a better start? I am sick to death of people and their prayers and 'thoughts for the families'  on Facebook.

5. What is prayer anyway? Billions and billions of prayers are said every day!  Why aren't they working? I might go to hell for this (though i don't believe in an actual Hell) but i don't think God is listening anymore, if He ever did. 

6. I believe His agenda is already made and what's going to happen is going to happen according to His plan, regardless. Here's what else i believe: Heaven and Hell are lived on this planet. On Earth. And that's why shit happens. Because how can you have a heaven?.... where your life is all hunky-dory (maybe even when you don't deserve it) if there isn't some terrible stuff around to remind you that you have it pretty good. I don't like what that says about innocent people in this life having a hard time - because that means they are in Hell i guess, paying for a different life. But that's kind of what i believe...in a nutshell. AND if you aren't so nice in your New Heaven, you're going to pay in the next life too. (Otherwise what's the point of being a good person?)

7. I don't believe prayer changes anything. And why do we think God is paying more attention to America than anywhere else? ("God Bless America" signs make me crazy.)  And i get a kick out of football players praying for a football game while little kids die in cancer wards. Why would a prayer go unanswered for a child to live - but yet another asked to win a Super Bowl, is answered? 
 I say only one prayer, and that prayer is thank you. 

8.  I said thank you when my brother and nephew didn't fall completely apart (as i feared) when my nephew Josh killed himself. I said thank you when both of my brothers were unemployed for awhile and it was looking bleak around 2008 and 2009. I say thank you every day that my father stays alive so it's less years that I will have to take care of my difficult mom. I said thank you when there were some health scares with me and my family. And so when/if Congress gets something done about guns I will say thank you then too. But until then i don't expect God to make anything happen just because we ask Him too. He gave us brains and expects us be somewhat accountable. That's what i think. 

9. If i were God i would have committed suicide a long time ago out of disappointment. I would also get us a new President!  I actually would kind of love to go out and knock back chardonnays with God. (Not so sure about Jesus though. I don't think Jesus would like me as much as God would.) 

10. Oh my, this is getting kind of weirdly dark. I think it's because i'm reading Joan Didion's book about the death of her husband and her daughter within a short period of time. It's called The Year of Magical Thinking. It's very well written. (If you have experienced a deep loss, i recommend this book.)  I don't know why i've even reading it since i am not grieving, (maybe i'm doing homework for when i will need it later).  What happened was a documentary on Rolling Stone I watched yesterday referred to it - Founder Jann Wenner tells Cameron Crowe (who was only 16 at the time and writing for RS) that he needed to read Didion to see how to really write and immerse soul into the story. I had heard of Didion but his description of writing intrigued me. So i decided to check her out of the library. (Only i couldn't get the book Webber recommended - i think called Slouching Toward Bethlehem,  so I opted for Magical Thinking.) 

11. That documentary, by the way, is called Rolling Stone: Stories from the Edge. It's really good. On HBO in two parts. 

12. I have to quit writing now because my iPad isn't good for blogging a new post. It flickers to the top and bottom and i can't really see what i am writing. Maybe it's a default in there so i don't write too much? (I will have to go back and correct on the desktop, which i rarely use anymore.) 

13. I'll sign off with this. And not just because Thanksgiving is coming up . (Though i probably won't get back here until after.)  Thank you God. I have a really really nice life,  a husband whom i love and who loves me,  a good man i probably don't deserve because he is much nicer than i am....a nephew who calls me to shoot the shit about twice a week about just stuff and who has two little kids i love who are like surrogate grandchildren......my brothers, all of my nieces and nephews who made it easier for me to choose to be a Non-Mom....my friends, (but not TOO many because i hate being in demand ;).....my health and the health of all the people i love, (with the exception of my mother in law alice, who is sadly continuing to fail)...a nice cozy home and enough money to live comfortably.  

Happy Thanksgiving. A little early. 

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Rainy Night Random Rough House Wine Musing.

Every once in awhile i think i have something to say and i come here ready to write and find i don't.

I still don't. But i'm going to do it anyway.

It's a super rainy Saturday night and i just now poured my third glass of a really good red wine called Rough House while listening to Jackson Browne. ('Song for Adam' just same on - love this song.)

Brian is in the other room watching a movie that turned out to be boring to me. ( "A Monster Calls) When i found only Liam Neeson's voice is starring, not him in person... (PLUS the added animation), i was lost.

So let's get on with it. Starting with #1.

1. In the news: Where to start with Tr#$p?  This week he called the Gold Star family of a soldier who died in Niger, telling the mother that her son "knew what he was getting in to". When i first heard it i thought ...well i get how T$%mp might have been awkward in those kind of condolences, so maybe give him a break.  But i watched the news and heard more of the story - and among that news was how he kept that story going because he could not stand being blasted for his comments about the fact of what he said, or that he took so long to call. So he had to go after the Florida Congresswoman Frederica Wilson, calling her 'wacky'. He's done it twice as of this writing.

He's mad because Wilson is a friend of the family of the dead soldier and was witness to his insensitive call and she made that known.  To make it all worse, the guy we hope will keep Tr#%p from starting World War 3  - Chief of Staff General Kelly - got pulled in because his own son died in action.

.... Anyway Kelly also goes after Congresswoman Wilson.... and has yet to apologize for telling a lie about her because he was trying to discredit her. (This reminded me of how Colin Powell was used by Bush/Cheney during the Iraq war with this container of Anthrax.)

Top that off  - (good lord, how do you even describe Sarah Huckabee?) ...with Huckabee  ....  who said we can't question the General.... (Oh, yeah....did i forget to mention that the soldier and the Congresswoman are black?)  I try to not watch the cable news channels for too long and hadn't since the Vegas mass shooting. Because if i keep watching i am going to have to call my doctor and get a giant refill of Xanax (which i get 5 pills subscribed for my occasional flights), and lie about getting a new job as a flight attendant and that I need it for work. The 24 hour cable news channels are hurting our country.

2. Nobody could have predicted that this president would behave so  badly  - there is not a word invented yet bad enough for me to describe just how horrible this president is. So i am going to make up my own:
Cuckfunt. That is my new name for him.

3 I will call him CF for short.

4. I make myself crazy thinking about CF. I still watch Bill Maher because i like that he has both parties on his panel and they don't often talk over each other. And i really sometimes want to try and understand the Republican party, but i have to admit i mostly like that Maher has Republicans on who are denouncing CF. And i keep hoping more of the Republican Congressfolks (or Congressfucks as i will refer to them when they don't - I'm talking about YOU Paul Ryan ....CF Jr. for short) will step up and take him on.

5. What i worry about: North Korea. The Winter Olympics in South Korea. Why do i feel like I worry about this more than our president? I do not feel safe in our country anymore. I already have some anxiety about my trip to New Orleans next spring. Forget building a Border Wall. Why would anyone from another country want to come here anyway? We have too many fucked up mean people who would be the worst neighbors they could ever have. They should want to move to Canada instead.

6. What i don't worry about: People boycotting the NFL or football players taking a knee. I just wish other folks didn't worry about the flag more than they worry about racism. And where was all their outrage about the Nazi folks in Charlottesville? That's they stuff i can't get over. My father is a dedicated retired military man who always flies the flag. I haven't talk to him about this yet but probably at Thanksgiving i will cause he has always been a Democrat and loves watching football,  but he is also fierce about the flag and patriotism, so i'm interested.... And what better time to bring up these kinds of things than Thanksgiving? Am i right? hahahaha...

7. For the record: i also fly the flag

8. No surprise, i support all of the players taking a knee. I tried to buy a Michael Bennett (who is still sitting out the Star Spangled Banner) Seahawk jersey but found there is no legitimate site to buy one that is in my size. The women's sizes are the same as the men's. So yeah, i'm vain enough to not want to spend $100 to protest, wearing a jersey that makes me look like i have SpongeBob Squarepant's body.

9. So I bought Kam Chancellor. 

10. I know the Seahawks stuff is boring for anyone reading (if anyone is) who don't live here, but i like putting it here for history.

11. I am still running. Can't believe it. Thought i might be done a couple of months after that half marathon when i kind of did myself in because both knees started hurting after that race. (It used to only be my left knee.) But it helped to cut back to running every other day and i think i can make it to 62 now - my new goal.  Today i ran 40 minutes and nothing hurt at all! I wear knee braces every time i run.

12. I gotta start doing some things. As my blog is a testament, I am not feeling as creative. I am quite happy retired, being at home and not having to be anywhere. There is no way i am depressed or even really bored, but i fear i am getting a little too comfortable with my unencumbered time.

At the same time i think i might be saving it all up right now because it's going to change soon. I am bracing myself for my parents. About 7 years ago i remember telling my Aunt Marie (My father Bruce's sister) that i didn't think Dad would be alive in 5 years. She agreed. And yet he is still here -  smoking 3 packs a day - maybe even more, drinking his Bud Lite Beer like he needs it to breathe, voraciously reading on his deck, eating his barbecued red meat and my mom's horrible cooking.  Without him, my mom is incapable of everything from driving to paying the bills. My life as i know it will be over when it comes time to take care of her. She barely took care of us as kids and i've got some deep seated resentment that we have to do it for her.

13. Is it 'deep seated' or 'deep seeded'?

hahaha. I'm sure Facebook has something in the newsfeed about that with all those grammar and math equations and vocabulary links which i hate so much. I'm going to end on that and go look it up.