Wednesday, August 31, 2016

3 Things I'm Good At; 3 Things I'm Bad At...and a really good book i read.

I just finished this book yesterday. And I read it probably for three hours, maybe more because it was due at the library today. I am still thinking about it. It deals with friendship, forgiveness, self-abuse like cutting (never explained to me before in such a way), suicidal thoughts, love, addiction, and characters who are gay or are struggling with sexual issues. It's a bit much and not for everyone but it's a book i will think about and not often do i finish a book crying. I can't really recommend it to people because it's a hard book to read. But I called my brother Troy because he is the only one i think will feel the same way about it as i do. Troy has had so much loss in his life (his son committed suicide this month 7 years ago) that i think it helps me understand how he is able to put one foot in front of the other in the manner that he does. It is also a great story about friendship.

In this book one of the characters asks the brilliant, but fragile character to tell him three things that he is better at than anyone else. The character cannot come up with an answer, so the asker of the question says 'how about three things that you do well?' And i thought that would be a good question for this blog. So if you are here and posting. What are three things you do well?.... let's say....better than maybe the average person.

Here are mine:
Three Things i Am Good At: 
#1. I am very good at goal setting and deadlines. It's why i am still running 36 years after i made a resolution on New Years 1980 and i've kept that commitment for all this time, and except for a few illnesses, i've never given it up. I also set a goal (back when i was around 35 or 38 when the age 60 seemed old) that i would keep it up until i was 60. And here i am, still able to run a 10K at any time i need to, though not as fast as i might wish. But the kicker is...i have never really liked running. I live for my days off. (This is not news for anyone who knows me well.) Also i can't think of a time when i didn't meet a deadline at work. I love knowing when something is due. It's also why i read that library book for 3+ hours yesterday, because it was due today.

#2. I am very good at saying NO to things i really really don't want to do. Not that i don't sometimes do stuff i don't want to, but i'm pretty up front about what i will and will not do. It kept me sane at the union office career that i had.


hmmmm. i am having some trouble coming up with a third one.

#3. OH, i got it! I stand up when i see something that feels wrong. And i try to rally others around it. It is why i got in union work in the first place. Some people may think i am wrong when i do it, but i feel strongly about it. I know people who feel the same way who would never stand up and would be so willing to let others do that, and still won't even say 'yeah, i agree' out of fear. I am thinking about my work in the union office. But recently even with condo board (again) about stuff going on around here.

SOOOO, this brings me to the Three Things I Am Bad At. And i think I can say: SEE ABOVE. My strengths are my weaknesses!

#1. Because i am a person who meets deadlines, who likes goals and is mostly always on time, i am not very tolerant of those who are not like this. At my job when people failed to do theirs and made more work for me I would be so mad. And because of my #2 and my #3, that can cause tension. I have never been a boss or supervisor and i am really not happy when people in those positions do not lead or are fearful of confrontation or need to be so liked too much.

#2. I am not likely to make the first move (with an apology) if i get in an altercation with someone. Luckily my husband and i don't fight much and never to the point that we go even an hour without talking because we are mad, but i have to admit he is probably the one who breaks the ice. And he usually does it in a very funny way. I am that way with most people when something comes up. I am sometimes a little bit afraid of how easily i can walk away. Maybe it is the military brat in me that had to give up friends every 2 or 3 years in school. Maybe it's the two divorces, but when things no longer feel like a fit, it feels easier to let it go.

#3. I am so terrible with retention. If i had a SuperPower, it would be to retain absolutely everything I have ever read. I feel strongly about so many things but i can never remember what i read to back up my positions on  politics, how i feel about movies and books (because i can't remember plots after a few weeks)! I remember i had this problem in school too which is why i learned to take copious notes and use memory games and tricks to get me through school. It's also why i love research so much. I almost paralyze myself with the research i do about so many things i buy, including even a simple thing as a sound bar for our TV or a fan! (Have to admit i did very well on the fan, while Brian didn't do so well on the sound bar because he didn't research!) Anyway, i could never be on a debate team.

OK, so if you are the few folks reading, what are your three good things and three bad things?

Also, here are three things in the news y'all might want to talk about too (aside from anything Trump or Hillary):

Colin Kaepernick.  - So he doesn't want to stand up for the National Anthem and the flag and it seems like every conservative person in the world is in an uproar about this , even as it is his constitutional right. and yet the same people, i swear it is the same people, don't give a shit  at all about all the blatant racist crap going around which is unconstitutional, ignoring the justice for all and everyone created equal. I don't like Colin, but i support his stand. I am a little bit worried though about the wackos at the football games who might do something. But i get it, if you stand for something(or in this case un-stand) then you do it all the time.  This is the reason i sort of understand people (though don't agree with it) about people who say no abortion even if in the case of rape or if the baby has Zika virus. If you are against abortion, then be against it all the way. (AGAIN, not saying i agree.)

Facebook's New Trending News Sucks - dammit, they are now hooking us with only the bare minimum on Facebook about what is trending. For example right now as i post it says : Sarasota, Florida 34K people talking about this ; Alicia Keys - 160K people talking about this; Twins First Day of School 39K people talking about this. It used to tell you WHY!!! So i think oh lord, so many people talking about Alicia , did she die? And i find out she didn't wear makeup to the VMA awards. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Then i click on Sarasota thinking maybe a hurricane, but it's about a woman who stole money - $85,000 from the Girl Scouts. And i am not EVEN going to click on the twins one now. Unless this is cute news about my nephew Brady's twins or Sarah's grandbaby twins i don't want to know.

Ryan Lochte - I bet he is glad that Kaepernick did what he did. Enough said. I'm sick of hearing about that guy, but i gotta put it here for history. What a douchebag Ryan Lochte is.


jojo cucina cucina said...

My nephew Brian (who is 32 years old) often gives me insight. He called today and we were talking about Colin Kaepernick and he said "Don't mistake his selfishness for nobleness." He said Kaepernick is an egotistical prick and he doesn't buy into his protest and believes that if he really wanted to make a difference he could do it another way instead of refusing to stand up. And what is he going to do? NOT stand up at every game. So that does give me pause. He said Kaepernick is on his way out and this is an antic that detracts from his teammates and that isn't fair to his team. So i agreed that maybe he should be working with Black Lives Matters peaceful protest instead of using his job that hurts his teammates and may cause some real problems with wacko fans.

He makes some sense to me. I told him my problem with the story mainly was the people who are hating on him seem to be the same ones who give a pass to Trump for all that he says and does and that totally bugs me.

I like the guy who made a FB comment about the story saying that given that Kaepernick is being bench as lead QB that he should be looking for ways to Stand UP instead of sitting down.

pearl said...

Three things I'm good at:
1. Crafty things. I have a good imagination, and can pull things together to achieve my vision...most of the time!

2. Cooking. I don't do a ton of fancy stuff all the time, but I'm not afraid to take on a complicated recipe now and then. My prime rib is really good, I finally mastered the Yorkshire pudding to go with and my bechamel turns out a respectable moussaka.

3. Problem solving. I can compartmentalize and look at things objectively very well, and I have a really good memory (so far...)

Three things I do badly:
1. Take criticism. I recoil from criticism (even if it is not intended as such) - but not because I think I'm perfect. Quite the opposite. I'm my own harshest critic, so when anyone else points out my (many) imperfections, it's like I'm being piled on because I'm already beating myself up about it.

2. Suffer fools. Which makes politics absolutely painful for me. Especially now. I am very fact driven and ethical. Variances of either drive me 'round the bend.

3. Exercise. I'll go in spurts. Can't maintain a steady state - even though I always feel better when I do than when I don't. I'm inertia's bitch.

On Kaepernick: I share your nephew's take. SoB makes >$12 MILLION a year! No right to school me on repression, thankyewverrahmush. I'll give him respect when I see him pony up a few of those $$million$$ to disaster relief in Baton Rouge, or set up a (well endowed) fund to educate inner city kids. That, I can respect. Sitting on his well heeled a$$ during the national anthem? Meh. BFD. It's all of our 1st amendment right to be as big an a$$hat as we wish. It's our responsibility to exercise that right with a little common sense.

On Facebook -- aka click bait paradise:
ARrrrhhhggghh. A friend of mine is battling colon cancer. I am giving her encouragement. Now my newsfeed is filled with colon stuff. Having to click to find out it's just someone's birthday? Ginning up false results (it's that same stupid algorithm that had me thinking...hoping...Megan Kelly had left FauxNews. She's too smart for that lot).

On colon cancer (kinda close to the a**hole, so...Lochte):
I have a friend who's 75 and has never had a colonoscopy because she's too "embarrassed". Srsly??? I've had one baseline...not at all pleasant, but just a few hours out of my life...and follow up annually with the less invasive home test that I send off once a year - that they now believe is every bit as effective. Small sacrifice to block one more cancer from messing with my life. Off my soapbox now...

jojo cucina cucina said...

Thanks for being here pearl! I do go back and forth on Kaepernick.

I would tell your 75 year old friend that getting a colonoscopy is so much better than getting a pap smear! Or maybe she never had one of those either? I don't think it's a big deal at all and will need to get another next year when i turn 60. Did this woman every have kids? See? Because i think that would be way way harder and more embarrassing (since i've never had one.)

Amanda said...

I never get embarrassed about things I'm not conscious for (Re: colonoscopy). If I had to stand there, fully awake, and spread my own cheeks apart for some doctor, I would be embarrassed. But, give me drugs, knock me out first? I don't care.

Pap smears and breast exams are way more embarrassing. You have to make small talk the whole time!!

Just my two cents.

jojo cucina cucina said...

Totally get what you say Amanda.