Not One Iota....

It’s been over two years since i quit Facebook. I do not miss it one iota. (By the way, did you know that the phrase “not one iota” comes from the New Testament in the Bible? Yep it’s from Matthew. How do i know that? Why Google, of course!)

Anyway, i started thinking about blogging again. I like having a writing outlet and still to this day even though it’s going on two years since I have posted here i am often running and i think of something to blog about. (Yes, i am STILL running - two years past my goal!) The only problem is blogging alone doesn’t give me much of a muse. Aside from the writing outlet, i also like things we used to do, i.e. when technology isn’t always replacing something with the ‘new flavor’ or update. So while blogging is dead to most everyone because of the awful social media, i’m going to bring it back for myself. I still listen to cds, i still own an iPhone 4 (which i believe is ten years old now) and i am driving a ten year old car ....that has a CD player and no navigational gizmo, so now i’ll add blogging to my list of things that would make my kids (if i had any) go ‘Moooooommmmmm!’

I’m going to bring back the format of posting random lists like i did before. (Usually while drinking wine.) I’ll add my favorite new music i’ve discovered and favorite books and a new wine i’ve discovered. I’ll probably post about politics too. But not much about Trump. (There’s not more that can be said about just how very terrible he is and it’s now redundant material.)

Right now as i write it’s the Christmas season and i love my Alpine Noble tree that i found at Harbor Greens. I usually get Fraziers or regular Nobles or Nordmanns, but this is the kind that has the spaces.  I’m still putting on the tinsel. I’ve also already finished my shopping and it’s only Dec. 3rd!

Let’s see if i can post a photo. It’s always a bit tricky posting from my iPad because i can’t tell what it looks like until i hit PUBLISH.

 Yay! It worked. 

Here is another: 

Well, that’s enough for now. I’ll be back. 

And a 1 and a 2 and a 3.

1. I worked until 7 pm today on this Friday. Course i didn’t go in until 10:30. But still it was a full day. And i liked it! But then again it’s cause i was mostly working alone with no phones ringing (it’s spring break over here). I am fortunate that i get this gig with working my old job where i don’t have to do the stuff i hated to do.

2. I have lately been buying a lot of casual dresses. And here’s why. Jeans are so not comfortable. AND the underpants you need to wear with jeans are also horrible. You are always digging them out of your butt or trying to make sure they don’t show over your waistband. Not to mention sometimes the jeans are just a little bit tighter than other times. Not only that i have started bowling in dresses and folks are cracking up over it.  But the first time i bowled in a dress i rolled a 152, a 142 and then my last game (maybe due to my second Mac N Jack microbrew) i bowled an 89. But those were my highest games in years. I give credit to the dress.

3. If you are over 6o years old and have ever bent over and looked at your knees and how the skin sags it will make you a little depressed. ALSO if you ever do planks with just wearing a sports bra and running tights and get a look at your stomach (even though i don’t have a pot belly), the way it looks is not how i was expecting. Also a bit depressing.

4. Heading into old age is not as fun i think as being there will be. I made a new year’s resolution to not talk too much about getting older and I’m trying to stick with it. But sometimes it’s hard.

5. Hahaha... i was trying to find a photo from my iPad (which is how I’m posting) but somehow it doesn’t allow me to do this. And i found this cause i checked “from my phone” thinking maybe it would allow me to go through and add one of my many photos, but only this one showed up. I don’t even remember this one. Or when it was taken, but my hair is a bit shorter so it must be about two summers ago.)

7. OOps, i can’t tell if I’m on #7 or not, cause the iPad is terrible for posting on blogger and i can’t scroll up. Anyway i watched a great Netflix show about Rajneesh guru back in the 1980’s who settled in Oregon and owned all those Rolls Royces. It was fascincating. I binged watched four of the six episodes earlier this week when i wasn’t working. (I only had about 1,000 steps on my Vivofit that day.) I want to talk to someone about it whoever has seen it. It’s really good. It’s called  “Wild Wild Country”. 

8. (Maybe or maybe it’s #6 or even #9....Where are you ummagumma anyway? I hope you are well. )

9. I just realized i do not recognize those sunglasses i am wearing in this photo. Am i wearing someone else’s?  Actually i think Brian must have put this photo together cause i don’t know how to do a quadruple photo, (Andy Warholish? 

10. “Whiter Shade Than Pale” just came on Pandora. Some songs are so classic that they will never ever go out of style. This is one of those. I love this song. This is making me think of other songs like that. I think i will leave it for a brand new blog post next time i write one though. So i’ll Sign off. 

Dancing With Myself.

Remember that Billy Idol song? Of course if you were still here blogging you might say. "Oh yes! I totally remember that song!" And then we could have a great discussion about all of those bad 1980's songs! And we would all be Googling the very worst titles! And it would go on for comment after comment. And it would be so much fun.

Anyway i keep hoping that maybe blogging will come back in fashion, like vinyl has. ESPECIALLY since Facebook is eating shit over the Cambridge Analytical firestorm. (AS THEY SHOULD!)

I am never going back to Facebook. I was reluctant to start in the first place (just as i was about getting a digital camera and a cell phone, though i have appreciation for the camera and i have managed to use the phone in moderation, unlike Facebook.)

Anyway, here i am because i need a writing outlet.  It's fun sometimes look back and see what i was thinking.

Enough introduction. Let's just number away and see where we go:

1. I got a $50 iTunes gift card for Christmas from my nephew Brian and his wife and i cannot find any music i want to buy. What i did buy is Linda Ronstadt's Heart Like a Wheel album. Ann Wilson from Heart has a cd coming out this summer (originally titled Dead Guys Music, but i think has been renamed to something more appropriate) -she's doing music by Tom Petty, Chris Cornell, David Bowie, Leonard Cohen songs. I will buy that one too!

2. I finished three books in one week by not being on Facebook. I had gotten away from reading in the months before quitting Facebook. (The downside of my reading frenzy is not all due to leaving FB, it's also insomnia - which i've had for awhile - made worse due to tinnitus (which started before Christmas and hasn't gone away...and also as before, runaway brain).  Brian got me some non-THC edible pot from a friend who sells it at a legal pot shop. So the next time i feel like i can't shut off my brain i'm using it. (I'll post here later to talk about how it went.)

3. In truth i have barely ever in my life smoked pot because i never smoked cigarettes and i didn't like the idea of inhaling anything.....I tried it a few times and actually liked it how it made me feel,  but i hate smoking and coughing. HOWEVER, edibles i can probably get into, now that it's legal. I just want them for those nights i know it's going to be bad. I told my friend Sarah, i can tell when that is going to happen just as i used to be able to tell that an orgasm just wasn't in the cards no matter how good in bed the guy i was with was or what he did. (Because sometimes your brain overrides your physical attraction/needs).

4. What i worry about: North Korea, China and Russia all banding together to upend America because of President idiot. (I decided that whatsisname doesn't even deserve a capital "I" in "idiot". )

5. What i don't miss about Facebook: (I am going to quit talking about this very soon, i promise, for anyone reading. I don't want to fall into that category of 'methinks she doth protest too much'.)

I wrote this to a friend recently and want to put it here. I don't like feeling beholding to people, or feeling obligated or being needed too much (especially by needy people). It's a reason i didn't want children.

I don't mean to say i would be a bad friend because most of my friends are self sufficient as i am. BUT if they did need me, i would be there. I don't seek out folks who are overly needy, thrive on chaos, are too self involved, or like wallowing in their misery. So my REAL friends on Facebook are not the problem.

What i realized shortly after leaving Facebook was that i was leaving behind a lot of shit that i was not interested in trying to keep up with. Like constantly having to feel like i needed to 'like' someone's baby photos, (even if they put up their thousandth photo of the baby). Or i worried i 'liked' one niece's baby photos more than the other's. I didn't like how i felt when i walked on by the people posting about feeling sick.But i could not understand why folks posted about every sniffle, cold, etc. (If you are so sick why are you posting on Facebook?) If you are able to post, then get your ass to work!

 I didn't like feeling obligated to wish a happy birthday to someone who was a 'friend' - but not really a friend i would enjoy going to lunch with. (I  had 'friends' who made requests of me which i accepted because that's what you do, right?)

I had too many friends, who were not friends at all and it wore me down.

Navigating the ongoing posts about dying children (or family members) were the worst.  (What do you say to someone you don't really know THAT well but they are your FB friend?)   Politics were also bad. Maybe the worst thing about Facebook . (Though i personally didn't have many folks on the opposite side as me, so i didn't get into it too much) ... Also those damed requests for signing petitions. Even when i agreed with the cause i hated them. It meant i would get a bunch more emails. My newsfeed was filled with ads i was constantly trying to hide and gawd damn the corny memes - i especially hated those ones that said "I love my daughter/son/mother/wife....etc etc. " (you know the ones. )  WTF? why does that deserve a post? Is that not a given? (And don't even get me started on i love my perfect husband posts...)

6. What i miss about Facebook:  SOME baby photos i really liked seeing. Especially those where the photographer has a good eye for a good photo. I also miss the book posts and my own book review NOTES. (Now i keep them in Notes on my iPad). Many friends helped me when i asked, especially with traveling (Pearl). I miss seeing some recipes and music posts. I learned about YouTube videos about Pilates (Alycia) that i am still using today, a couple of months later. But i can still find that stuff on my own and i have the emails of the folks i want to stay in touch with. and i also have Goodreads for books and i may start posting my reviews there. I like keep a list of books i have read.

7. I was thinking about Melania T. the other day. And what i would do if i were her. She would be a hero to women if she took her son and got the hell out of the Super White House and filed for divorce. And admitted that she never wanted that job in the first place .  Wouldn't it be cool if she resorted to physical domestic violence against him too. Like throw a Manolo Blahnik shoe at him, maybe stabbing him in the eye or better yet, his Twitter fingers,

8. I actually had to Google Manolo Blahnik because i couldn't remember that shoe. You know how i found it? I googled "Sex in the City shoes" ... hahahaha.

10. Back to the Beginning.... Worst 80's Songs: i would choose : "Lady in Red" (forget the dude's name who sang it) ; "Sussido" by Phil Collins comes to mind.

The Reasons I Quit Facebook

I quit Facebook at the end of February when i was called back to work at my old job again. (I think this is my 6th gig working post-retirement now, which will be 5 years this August. Wow. those 5 years went by very quickly, but maybe because i was working?....)

Hahahaha I'm on my third glass of Foris Chardonnay (VERY good!) and i remembered to close the parenthesis that time. Normally my signature on this blog is i don't remember to do that.


The reason i quit Facebook:

1. ) I am still mad that FB contributed to president Cuckfunt because of how “news” was passed around with no controls. I also was flabbergasted and crazed by the comments from the pro-CF folks who had no problem using their real names when they posted such awful racist things and it made me mad and sad for our country.

2. ) I checked it way way way too much after retirement, even as i was bored with my newsfeed because it got pretty redundant with my FB friends who felt like i did politically. Some stuff i liked, and many people helped me over there, but lately my newsfeed was mostly CF news and advertisements.

3. ) A few days after the Parkland Florida school shooting I had a falling out with a FB friend who  posted a video on her feed from this wacko gun-nut job  S e a n   W h a l e n (edited to spread his name so that it doesn’t pop up in a search as i just saw that it did)  ranting about the shooting and how the students need to speak up more - to me,  it felt like he was blaming the other students ....(look him up if you want to see something crazy, that dude posted photos of his own kids posing with smug smiles holding semi automatic weapons. I would link his video here but i believe it’s only on his Facebook page.)

I was surprised to see that of all the news about that horrible school shooting, THAT was the video she chose to share. And all is said was that i might agree with his rant on the Parkland shooting if only he didn't have these kinds of photos on his page. And i posted two of the many he had with his young three kids ) posing with guns.  I thought maybe she didn't know and would want to know and take it down. I had never received a message from her before but i got one after my comment, reaming me for 'shaming' . I was so surprised. I thought i was doing her a favor by letting her know. Looking back now i think i should have messaged her instead but i had never done that before and i actually did want people to know that the dude was nut case. (He makes Ted Nugent look like Ghandi!)

 I tried to tell her that was not my intent. I explained how when I see someone now posting Fake News on Facebook I try to follow with a link that shows it’s fake and i felt his video deserved a similar comment.  I just thought maybe she didn't know how crazy that guy was. She did take the video down,  but not because of him - because of me posting the photos. And not once did she take issue with his message. So it occurred to me that maybe her politics might be a bit more extreme than I knew.

This latest school shooting put me over for tolerating any rabid pro-gun shit. So i unfriended her after i couldn't make her understand that i was trying to say there are better stories out there to share that that nut job.  When i unfriended her she got really mad so she in turn blocked me. (Damn, we were like middle school kids ourselves.) But i'm okay finding out where people stand and steering clear. And i am really tired of the political playground on Facebook. So that was one of the reasons that made it easier to do what i've been thinking about doing for awhile now.

4. ) Honestly, I don’t want to be friends with any Trump supporter (or anyone who thinks that dude Whalen is an okay guy). It's a line i draw now. Truth is, i don't need or want THAT many friends anyway. I'm enough of an introvert and only have time for so many people in my life before i need a day to decompress. Cutting off folks is not an issue for me when my values are crossed.

5. ) I think maybe because i was a military brat and had to move around a lot it made it easier for me to leave people. Probably made it easier to get divorced twice before i got it right.

6. ) And Facebook also had way too many ads that i spent so much time hiding. It creeped me out when i would look online to buy something and next thing i know that advertisement showed up in my newsfeed and other places . Also i unfollowed a lot of folks but they popped up because someone i didn’t unfollow shared their post. (I don't think that unfollow and hide works that great on Facebook.). If i came back i would like to keep it to only people i would like to have lunch or coffee or wine with.  But i didn't know how to not accept a friendship without feeling like a douche. I hardly ever sent out the request myself, some folks here might remember i resisted FB a long time (just as i did with digital cameras and cell phones).

7).  My time away from Facebook has been a nice reprieve. It would be great to add that i am sleeping better, but that's another story. I am surprised that i can honestly can say i don't miss it. I really thought i would cheat but haven't wanted to at all. I did make sure i had email addresses from a few of the people i want to stay connected with and the rest of FB folks i really want to stay in touch with i see in real life anyway. The family members in Louisiana didn't really connect with me much on FB anyway (I suspect they may have steered away because of politics) so i'm not missing much there.  I might come back with election Nov. 2018 because i have super high hopes for us. And i want to be a part of a community when we celebrate. But if that goes badly i think i might just step away forever.

 Other Stuff: 
Longest run this week: 40 minutes, also 40 minutes of Pilates On Demand. Still running every other day. Some days better than others. My new goal since i surpassed my old one of running at least until i was 60 is to make it to 62.

Books: I am reading FOUR right now. 1 Dead In the Attic about Katrina; Lincoln in the Bardos (it's kind of a weird one!) ;  a book about Introverts, (it think Quiet is in the title); and the one from embedded journalist from NBC Katy Tur on the Trump campaign called Unbelievable .

Best thing that happened: Sunshine, light until 7 pm. And last week i bowled a 152, a 142 and funny....my third game ended up being an 89. (My average so far has only been about 113).

Coming Soon. A New Random Post.

So without a Facebook page anymore i am going to blog again more often. At least that’s my plan. But i like having wine while doing it so i have to wait until i have a day when i am having wine. This weekend maybe, though it’s busy with babysitting and a one year old great niece birthday party afterwards. Maybe Friday, except i work until 6 pm. I started working at my old job last week, 3 days a week. They want me through August but i get to make my own hours and come in when i want to just so i get the stuff done they need me to do. I like that a lot. Once the weather gets better i can even walk to work. I’m just putting this here for reference because i forget these things when i get called back and sometimes i like to know.

Where'd You Go Jo Cucina-EE-OO? Our nation turns it's weary eyes to you.

Hahaha! I am using ‘weary’ instead of ‘lonely’ cause if you are watching the news that fits better. Nobody listens to me, but at at the very least, Dear Abby's readers should. (If only i had the chance.)

Retrieved from an old Draft that was just sitting there. I started adding again with #5.

*. *. *. *. *. *. *. *.

I'm am still here. Even if nobody else is here. Yes, i missed December and January totally. Oh well. Recently i watched “The Graduate” and thought of this song.

1. I'm reading “Fire and Fury” by Michael Wolff which blows the doors off president Cuckfunt's Very White House. I am only halfway done.  I have to read it increments because i'm afraid my head will explode. It's too much to take in. It's great delicious gossip (that i have no trouble believing) but like too much Mexican food at one time, you can only take in so much.

2. Latest president (i wish i could make the word 'president' in a tiny tiny font, like Al Franken did in one of his books when he talked about liberal Paul Begala going up against Crossfire’s Robert Novak) CF shitstorm is his comment about Haiti, Africa and El Salvatore being 'shithole countries'. Then lying about having said it. Also the audacity of him telling a reporter that 'no one is less racist than i am.' The hits just keep coming.

3. Saw the movie "The Post" last night. If anything good comes out of this election term (and i do not mean plural when i say 'term') it might be that newspapers make a comeback. I check out The Washington Post online so often that i use up my allotment of free views early in the month so i think i might have to subscribe to an online subscription.

4. I'm supposed to start work at my old job....again. From the end of February to the end of March.  No commute! I'm not totally looking forward to it, but it's the time of year when things feel so blah that it might be a good thing. I might buy a fix portrait lens for my Nikon. They are pretty expensive. Or i might buy a better Soundbar for our TV...one of those Sonos thingies.

5. Written Feb. 8, 2018. At least i think it’s February 8th. Thank goodness for Alexa. I have Alexa giving me all my reminders about appointments, garbage days, birthdays etc. I use her for a lot, including my new Pilates workouts and timing my planks, ( though i swear she adds extra time beyond the minute for my planks!). I’m still running four days a week for about four miles too. But right now i’m a pound over my ‘magic weight’ for the past two weeks, leftover from the holidays i’m sure.

6. Finally quit the YMCA and decided to give up on Yoga and i am so relieved. And because i have no option of the Y anymore i find i am more committed to the On Demand workouts for Pilates and stretching. I am born for Pilates! It doesn’t boss me around about the stupid breathing, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, oh i hate that so much in Yoga! And i don’t have to get into any dumbass meditative state to do it. It’s exercise. It’s what i commit to best. So far so good on my third week and i love being able to do it at home. I even feel better in the morning waking up, not as wobbly and hurting.

7. The Olympics start tonight and i’m exciting to watch so i’m DVRing nearly everything. I love the skating, the short track, and the snowboarding and ski jumping and some Alpine skiing. Looking forward to watching even as i don’t know any of the athletes backgrounds yet.

8. Brian’s mom is still hanging in there though her mind is not all there, though it’s sometimes there. I haven’t seen her since Christmas. Come to think of it, i haven’t seen my own mom since Christmas! This month she has been on a feeding tube for a whole year. It really makes me think about getting older. I told Brian and my nephew Brian not to be too upset if i ever die before my time is up because i think i would be a terrible old person if my mind starts going. Brian’s mom was the sweetest lady and i don’t think i ever heard her say ‘damn’ or ‘shit’ but now she is using the N word and saying the F word. Very odd. Maybe in her regular life she wanted to cuss a lot more and just held back and without filters this is what we get. If that’s the case, then i will probably be okay as an old lady since i haven’t helped back THAT much.

9. But oh, boy, sometimes people don’t know how much i do. For example i don’t say a lot when it comes to Brian’s mom but i wonder how and why Brian and his sister hold on to so much hope or get kind of excited for those times when Alice is lucid and seems like herself. It’s not much of a trade in considering her condition which is nearly like being a quadriplegic. I feel like Alice knows her kids want her around and has this belief that she needs to be here for THEM. Their older brother isn’t doing as much or going over the pass to visit as often as Brian does. I think i’m starting to understand him better than i did before. IT’s not much of a life for Alice and i hope to God i never have to go that way.

10. Let’s end of a good note, shall we? Hmmmm. I’m going to put up this song. It’s maybe not a happy note, but it’s a good note, though a sad song. But a really really beautiful song. My nephew told me about the “May It Last Avett Brothers documentary. I’ve seen it twice now and have probably played this song about a dozen times now. It is a great song about life and death and what lies ahead. It would be beautiful for a memorial. I would like this played at my own memorial but they would have to edit out the last line of the song. Hahahaha.

No Hard Feelings

Just Your Regular Stuff

I'm still here

An old fashioned random thoughts posting. I'm only drinking water. Maybe this will only end up being a draft since i get kind of bored writing the blog without wine! Listening to a Gillian Welch cd - the one with "Miss Ohio" on it. Kind of nice for a dark rainy early evening. 

1. A year ago we elected what i now refer to President Cuckfunt - (the two worst cuss words i can think of). It's kind of funny reading my Facebook Memory posts from last year. I had so much hope until the end. (I can also tell when i opened that other bottle of wine because i planned on staying up!) 

2. We survived a year! And today some good Democrats unseated some Republicans that i hope is a promise of things to come. If only the Democrats don't fuck it up. 

3. The Vegas shooting happened the same day when we heard about Tom Petty's death. And just this week there was another mass shooting in a church in Texas that left 26 dead, many of them children. 

So we're not safe in a concert. We're not safe in a school. We're not safe in a movie theater. We're not safe in a shopping mall. We're not even safe in church! 

I'm already a homebody enough and don't need another reason to become a full on agoraphobic. Oh the news. ...I just wish... i don't know what i wish. I think i wish we went back to news at 6 pm and again at 10 or 11 pm and forget about the 24 hour news cable channels. Maybe the mass shootings might not become so 'normal'. Just another day in America. 

4. When will people start to understand that prayers don't work and that laws might be a better start? I am sick to death of people and their prayers and 'thoughts for the families'  on Facebook.

5. What is prayer anyway? Billions and billions of prayers are said every day!  Why aren't they working? I might go to hell for this (though i don't believe in an actual Hell) but i don't think God is listening anymore, if He ever did. 

6. I believe His agenda is already made and what's going to happen is going to happen according to His plan, regardless. Here's what else i believe: Heaven and Hell are lived on this planet. On Earth. And that's why shit happens. Because how can you have a heaven?.... where your life is all hunky-dory (maybe even when you don't deserve it) if there isn't some terrible stuff around to remind you that you have it pretty good. I don't like what that says about innocent people in this life having a hard time - because that means they are in Hell i guess, paying for a different life. But that's kind of what i believe...in a nutshell. AND if you aren't so nice in your New Heaven, you're going to pay in the next life too. (Otherwise what's the point of being a good person?)

7. I don't believe prayer changes anything. And why do we think God is paying more attention to America than anywhere else? ("God Bless America" signs make me crazy.)  And i get a kick out of football players praying for a football game while little kids die in cancer wards. Why would a prayer go unanswered for a child to live - but yet another asked to win a Super Bowl, is answered? 

 I say only one prayer, and that prayer is thank you. 

8.  I said thank you when my brother and nephew didn't fall completely apart (as i feared) when my nephew Josh killed himself. I said thank you when both of my brothers were unemployed for awhile and it was looking bleak around 2008 and 2009. I say thank you every day that my father stays alive so it's less years that I will have to take care of my difficult mom. I said thank you when there were some health scares with me and my family. And so when/if Congress gets something done about guns I will say thank you then too. But until then i don't expect God to make anything happen just because we ask Him too. He gave us brains and expects us be somewhat accountable. That's what i think. 

9. If i were God i would have committed suicide a long time ago out of disappointment. I would also get us a new President!  I actually would kind of love to go out and knock back chardonnays with God. (Not so sure about Jesus though. I don't think Jesus would like me as much as God would.) 

10. Oh my, this is getting kind of weirdly dark. I think it's because i'm reading Joan Didion's book about the death of her husband and her daughter within a short period of time. It's called The Year of Magical Thinking. It's very well written. (If you have experienced a deep loss, i recommend this book.)  I don't know why i've even reading it since i am not grieving, (maybe i'm doing homework for when i will need it later).  What happened was a documentary on Rolling Stone I watched yesterday referred to it - Founder Jann Wenner tells Cameron Crowe (who was only 16 at the time and writing for RS) that he needed to read Didion to see how to really write and immerse soul into the story. I had heard of Didion but his description of writing intrigued me. So i decided to check her out of the library. (Only i couldn't get the book Webber recommended - i think called Slouching Toward Bethlehem,  so I opted for Magical Thinking.) 

11. That documentary, by the way, is called Rolling Stone: Stories from the Edge. It's really good. On HBO in two parts. 

12. I have to quit writing now because my iPad isn't good for blogging a new post. It flickers to the top and bottom and i can't really see what i am writing. Maybe it's a default in there so i don't write too much? (I will have to go back and correct on the desktop, which i rarely use anymore.) 

13. I'll sign off with this. And not just because Thanksgiving is coming up . (Though i probably won't get back here until after.)  Thank you God. I have a really really nice life,  a husband whom i love and who loves me,  a good man i probably don't deserve because he is much nicer than i am....a nephew who calls me to shoot the shit about twice a week about just stuff and who has two little kids i love who are like surrogate grandchildren......my brothers, all of my nieces and nephews who made it easier for me to choose to be a Non-Mom....my friends, (but not TOO many because i hate being in demand ;).....my health and the health of all the people i love, (with the exception of my mother in law alice, who is sadly continuing to fail)...a nice cozy home and enough money to live comfortably.  

Happy Thanksgiving. A little early. 

Rainy Night Random Rough House Wine Musing.

Every once in awhile i think i have something to say and i come here ready to write and find i don't.

I still don't. But i'm going to do it anyway.

It's a super rainy Saturday night and i just now poured my third glass of a really good red wine called Rough House while listening to Jackson Browne. ('Song for Adam' just same on - love this song.)

Brian is in the other room watching a movie that turned out to be boring to me. ( "A Monster Calls) When i found only Liam Neeson's voice is starring, not him in person... (PLUS the added animation), i was lost.

So let's get on with it. Starting with #1.

1. In the news: Where to start with Tr#$p?  This week he called the Gold Star family of a soldier who died in Niger, telling the mother that her son "knew what he was getting in to". When i first heard it i thought ...well i get how T$%mp might have been awkward in those kind of condolences, so maybe give him a break.  But i watched the news and heard more of the story - and among that news was how he kept that story going because he could not stand being blasted for his comments about the fact of what he said, or that he took so long to call. So he had to go after the Florida Congresswoman Frederica Wilson, calling her 'wacky'. He's done it twice as of this writing.

He's mad because Wilson is a friend of the family of the dead soldier and was witness to his insensitive call and she made that known.  To make it all worse, the guy we hope will keep Tr#%p from starting World War 3  - Chief of Staff General Kelly - got pulled in because his own son died in action.

.... Anyway Kelly also goes after Congresswoman Wilson.... and has yet to apologize for telling a lie about her because he was trying to discredit her. (This reminded me of how Colin Powell was used by Bush/Cheney during the Iraq war with this container of Anthrax.)

Top that off  - (good lord, how do you even describe Sarah Huckabee?) ...with Huckabee  ....  who said we can't question the General.... (Oh, yeah....did i forget to mention that the soldier and the Congresswoman are black?)  I try to not watch the cable news channels for too long and hadn't since the Vegas mass shooting. Because if i keep watching i am going to have to call my doctor and get a giant refill of Xanax (which i get 5 pills subscribed for my occasional flights), and lie about getting a new job as a flight attendant and that I need it for work. The 24 hour cable news channels are hurting our country.

2. Nobody could have predicted that this president would behave so  badly  - there is not a word invented yet bad enough for me to describe just how horrible this president is. So i am going to make up my own:
Cuckfunt. That is my new name for him.

3 I will call him CF for short.

4. I make myself crazy thinking about CF. I still watch Bill Maher because i like that he has both parties on his panel and they don't often talk over each other. And i really sometimes want to try and understand the Republican party, but i have to admit i mostly like that Maher has Republicans on who are denouncing CF. And i keep hoping more of the Republican Congressfolks (or Congressfucks as i will refer to them when they don't - I'm talking about YOU Paul Ryan ....CF Jr. for short) will step up and take him on.

5. What i worry about: North Korea. The Winter Olympics in South Korea. Why do i feel like I worry about this more than our president? I do not feel safe in our country anymore. I already have some anxiety about my trip to New Orleans next spring. Forget building a Border Wall. Why would anyone from another country want to come here anyway? We have too many fucked up mean people who would be the worst neighbors they could ever have. They should want to move to Canada instead.

6. What i don't worry about: People boycotting the NFL or football players taking a knee. I just wish other folks didn't worry about the flag more than they worry about racism. And where was all their outrage about the Nazi folks in Charlottesville? That's they stuff i can't get over. My father is a dedicated retired military man who always flies the flag. I haven't talk to him about this yet but probably at Thanksgiving i will cause he has always been a Democrat and loves watching football,  but he is also fierce about the flag and patriotism, so i'm interested.... And what better time to bring up these kinds of things than Thanksgiving? Am i right? hahahaha...

7. For the record: i also fly the flag. 

8. No surprise, i support all of the players taking a knee. I tried to buy a Michael Bennett (who is still sitting out the Star Spangled Banner) Seahawk jersey but found there is no legitimate site to buy one that is in my size. The women's sizes are the same as the men's. So yeah, i'm vain enough to not want to spend $100 to protest, wearing a jersey that makes me look like i have SpongeBob Squarepant's body.

9. So I bought Kam Chancellor. 

10. I know the Seahawks stuff is boring for anyone reading (if anyone is) who don't live here, but i like putting it here for history.

11. I am still running. Can't believe it. Thought i might be done a couple of months after that half marathon when i kind of did myself in because both knees started hurting after that race. (It used to only be my left knee.) But it helped to cut back to running every other day and i think i can make it to 62 now - my new goal.  Today i ran 40 minutes and nothing hurt at all! I wear knee braces every time i run.

12. I gotta start doing some things. As my blog is a testament, I am not feeling as creative. I am quite happy retired, being at home and not having to be anywhere. There is no way i am depressed or even really bored, but i fear i am getting a little too comfortable with my unencumbered time.

At the same time i think i might be saving it all up right now because it's going to change soon. I am bracing myself for my parents. About 7 years ago i remember telling my Aunt Marie (My father Bruce's sister) that i didn't think Dad would be alive in 5 years. She agreed. And yet he is still here -  smoking 3 packs a day - maybe even more, drinking his Bud Lite Beer like he needs it to breathe, voraciously reading on his deck, eating his barbecued red meat and my mom's horrible cooking.  Without him, my mom is incapable of everything from driving to paying the bills. My life as i know it will be over when it comes time to take care of her. She barely took care of us as kids and i've got some deep seated resentment that we have to do it for her.

13. Is it 'deep seated' or 'deep seeded'?

hahaha. I'm sure Facebook has something in the newsfeed about that with all those grammar and math equations and vocabulary links which i hate so much. I'm going to end on that and go look it up.

Random Musings The Same Week of The Last Straw For Me for T%&#p

The officer stands calmly as a group of white supremacists act out behind him. One man’s outstretched right arm signals a Nazi salute. Another wears a red hood. A third rests a Confederate flag on his shoulder.

1. This photo was taken August 12, 2017. The caption is copied from an article that posted how this went viral. A black police officer there to defend the very people who hate him.

2. Last week Trump made us scared for America with his crossed arms and "Fire and Fury" statement about North Korea ....AND NOW this week we should be very sad and angry for America for what he says about what happened in Charlottesville, blaming both sides, and getting high fives from David Duke for saying it. I keep thinking Trump can't get worse. And yet he does. A hundred times worse than i thought the day we found out he was our new President.

3. Make America Great Again? Scared. Sad. Angry. That's making America Great? Forget just missing Obama. i fucking miss George W.

4. The image of those white guys marching with torches in Charlottesville is not easy to get out of your head. I feel badly for the folks who live there who are not racist Nazi sympathizers and white supremacists who may be identified that way when they say where they are from.

5. .But i will say this about how i feel about what's happening: I do not totally agree with tearing down the statues of civil war leaders like Robert E. Lee...for the simple reason is that it's not erasing history or making it better to pretend it never happened.

6. I think these symbols should be used as teachable moments to new generation about what our country used to be and how we should never get back to that.  tearing them down is getting us right back there. Maybe there is a compromise we can make here? If there is, i have no faith in our president in making it.

7. For me the Confederate flag is different because it is carried around and used as a symbol. At the same time maybe we don't stop that either. I kind of like knowing who the people are that i should avoid. For example if i were looking to buy a house and the neighbor next door was sporting a Confederate flag bumper sticker on his pickup (ha, stereotype, it's always a pick-up right?) i would not buy that house.

8. We can try to erase the symbols of racism all we want but it doesn't get rid of the racism. I think i might rather know where it's coming from so i can side-step it. It's horrible though, knowing it's out there more than we knew. I knew it was there. But i think i totally underestimated.

9.  Luckily any Facebook friends of mine who might be defending this latest shit storm in Charlottesville are keeping silent. I hope they keep it that way.

10. I keep saying it and saying it. I am not as pissed off at Trump as i am at the Republican leaders in Congress (Paul Ryan i'm looking at you!) who have done nothing but stood by and watched it happen and sometimes say a few words that make them sound like they have character and conscience after all, but yet nothing happens. WORDS are not enough anymore. Do something more than just stupid talk! It's your fucking job to represent all Americans.

Why I am not cutting my hair and other stuff.

Longest hair i've ever had since high school - July 2017

These don't need to be numbered, but i'm doing it anyway:

1. I thought of this because i have an appointment to get my hair cut in a couple of weeks.

2. Some folks think that at age 60 none of us should be wearing long hair. But what i also think about turning 60 is that i don't care so much anymore about what we should be or shouldn't be doing as we get older.

3. When I turned 40 i thought i was old and i cut off all of my hair really short and it looked terrible and even worse, it was so much harder to deal with because my hair is actually pretty curly. And when i was 40 i had been running half marathons two years in a row and was in probably the best shape ever but I still traded my two piece swim suit in for a one piece that year because i thought that was more appropriate.  I also quit wearing super high heels in place of sensible heels (that was not that hard to give up to tell the truth).

4. So when i turned 60 i decided i am not falling into that trap again.

5. But when i saw an episode of Grace and Frankie and Lily Tomlin was sporting the wild hair look i thought, i'm gonna do it too. (And yeah, i think she is wearing extensions but they look great).

6. So yeah, i'm going to cancel my hair cut appointment. Though i am still keeping my hair COLOR one! I'm not ready to go all the way. My gray color is dishwasher drab and not cool at all. Looks okay on my brothers but i'm not quite ready for that.

7. I have super thick hair and i just HATE washing it. Always have because it takes forever to blow dry.  My hair stylists make comments about it. (I tip them well enough so i don't feel too sorry for them. ) The best thing about my hair right now is that I only wash it once week! (Though i do sometimes wash the roots only at the top. It actually looks and behaves better at 5 days.

8. Most times if you ever see me i am not wearing it down. It's in a long low braid or ponytail. EASY PEASY! That i love second most!

9. Is that how you spell 'peasy'?

10. Anyway, i'm making this whole blog post about my hair. hahahaha.... I'm 60. I can do anything!

Random Mad-Doms. Random Happy-Doms

Ha. Mad-Doms are things that make me irritated. And of course, Happy-Doms make me happy. Here are a few:

1. (This applies to no one who posts here normally.) If you are a Trump supporter and you jump on my personal Facebook page with a video or story that appears to be in response to something i posted you will not have the last word with me.

Explanation: This hasn't happened too often but my husband has a cousin who passively aggressively jumps on my Facebook page about some stuff i post. He is a born-again Christian and likes to take issue with me, as he did recently when i posted the funny GIF about the Poland First Lady passing by Trump's extended hand and instead shook Melanie's hand.

2. Three reasons i liked that handshake GIF a lot: The first being that she appears to snub Trump. The second is  that i like to think maybe she really didn't (Trump's hands are so tiny, maybe she didn't  see his little tiny hand!). And number three: If she later was mortified that she broke some protocol only to find out that so many of us made her some kind of hero and made a joke of it, because the GIF is hilarious...well then maybe that takes the sting out of her error.

3. So i turned 60 and my hands turned 85. Seriously after this blog i am going to take a photo of my hands to prove it. I understand why Diane Keaton always wears gloves! My doctor told me she could tell by looking at them they are getting arthritis. My knuckles are swollen and i can no longer get my wedding ring off though i have not gained weight.

My wedding ring is actually a man's ring that i had sized for my own because i don't like big diamonds. But those hands look 25 years older than i am and they feel it too.

4. It kind of creeps me out (in a claustrophobic way) that i can't get my ring off right now. I don't like feeling trapped our bound. I hope if i ever die it's not by being buried under rubble.

5. Ok, time for Happy-Doms! I've talked about my favorite nephew's (Brian) son Brady - the one i babysit with the Cheeto colored hair. Brady's sister turned 1 on July 7 and has THE EXACT SAME hair as Brady. (In secret i call them the Cheetos. As in "I'm babysitting the Cheetos today." But i don't say that to Brian or his wife Adrienne cause i'm not sure they would think it's as funny as i do.) I didn't know if i could love a kid as much as i did with Brady but Lauren is fabulously happy and so fun to babysit and i see now how you can be a parent and love your kids equally.  Because her initials are LOL, we call her Lolo.

6. Happy-Dom: When i rock Lolo to sleep i like to sing her the song by the Kinks "Lola". I change it to LoLo. And yes, it's about a transvestite, but she doesn't know that.

Ok, her hair is covered but i love this photo of her. Her dad is pulling her in a wagon.

6. Another Happy-Dom. I am remodeling my kitchen with custom built cabinets, quartz counters and subway tile wall backsplash and new electric can lights. Last time i did this i hired a contractor but my kitchen is so small and i'm retired so i'm organizing it. I love all four of the guys i hired. And their communication so far has been excellent. I don't even mind having to do all the weird little stuff buy all the lights, knobs, and i get to use their accounts where applicable. So yeah, lots of running around and what feels like100s of hours of Pinterest and Houzz research but i have to admit, i like having the project.

7. I can't spend all my retired time reading! Well, actually i can. But i'm not sure it's a good thing. And i'm behind on my one day a week goal that's i've met for awhile now. Just as i've been on this blog.

8. Happy-Dom: Great books i've read this year - Some of them heartbreaking like "Just Mercy"by Bryan Stevenson about the lack thereof of mercy for many minorities in the south. "Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk"; "Option B" - if you are dealing with grief, this book might really help. It helped my friend Rita who lost her daughter to breast cancer. And "Eleanor Oliphant"....

9. Happy-Dom: What i love most about retirement. My mornings. About half of the time i get up Brian is still home reading yesterday's newspaper before getting ready for work. I make coffee;  turn on all the lighting that i like and sit down to the newspaper (once it finally arrives from our disabled carrier) and after that i look online on my iPad, or read part of my book or watch ER reruns i've DVRd. Later I do some cleaning, laundry, researching stuff, or calling Sarah, anything to procrastinate going for a run. I go for a run about four days a week, sometimes five. (Edited to add : I don't know why i wrote 'five', i haven't run five since i quite training for that race.  And right now my other knee is also starting to bother me worrying me about how much longer i can do this.)

Sometimes I meet friends (Sarah and Drew and Marie) for a walk or lunch. I pop over at the pool if i see the screaming meanies aren't there or if some of my condo friends ARE, i babysit a few times a month. And in between all that other time .....i read books. And Facebook. And look up stuff online i want to know. (Right now my remodel is taking a lot of that time.)

10. Somewhere there was a survey... on Facebook i think...Probably...Most likely...Because i don't usually take surveys or tests anywhere but on Facebook... Anyway, on the survey the question was : "If you could have one superpower, what would it be?" ....For me that answer is so simple!  It would be "To remember absolutely everything i have ever read." I honestly don't get why some folks might want super strength or to fly or be invisible. I want instant recall.

Ok, on that note, i'm going to sign off and go scan a couple of photos not on Facebook and talk about those.

I am so proud of my nephew Brian! I always had hope for Brian since he was teenager when so many of us thought he was such a slacker.  Even though he lived a few miles from us I actually wrote him a couple of letters when he was a teen once after he got fired from a job.

I believed in him because even when he was only about 11 years old  he was always a kid who asked so many questions and seemed to care so much about what was going on in the world. Then his younger brother Josh committed suicide in 2009, in a way that nobody saw it coming. And i worried that he wouldn't make it either. But he did. It's probably a testament to his dad, my brother Troy, who has also amazed me in how he has recovered. They are both very close.

I am close to him too. I don't think of him as just my nephew - he is also like a close friend. Brian calls me often on his breaks between Comcast appointments and we love to talk about politics, football, books, movies, tv shows (he's the one that tells me about the best TV shows), stuff in the news, what happened on Bill Maher, etc. .. I learn a lot from him. I also get a lot of my political news from him because i quit watching much of it.

He is now 35. He married the right woman, (his long time girlfriend, who is a nurse who works graveyard shifts) so he has become a super-hands-on father of a boy and a girl. They bought a nice house in a nice neighborhood. And he has become very committed to the extended family. Many of our conversations are about Elodie!

 He's also a really good writer. I wish he wrote more. We used to talk about collaborating on a book of chapters about our family. Maybe we will someday. Anyway, his  35th birthday was July 14th this week... so that is a Happy-Dom. I am so happy he and my brother Troy are doing so well.

They do love their plaid. It's the Louvrak favorite family color!

Lolo is wearing Brady's old hat.

I lost a friend today

Ramona as a child -the oldest one in the middle

1. Today a friend of mine, Ramona,  died of ovarian cancer. She wasn't a super close friend, though i've known her for over 30 years from our school district work. Her mom Hildegard lived in my condo community and was a good friend of our good friend Dorothy who died ten years ago so our paths kept crossing occasionally. (I always got a kick out of Hildegard.) 

When Hildegard died over a year and a half ago that's when Ramona and i started getting together. And a few months after, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She sent me a message and said she hoped i would be a part of her support team, but added that she understood if i was uncomfortable with that. That's the part that got me -  that Ramona knew it was not something people might be able to do. And truthfully i wasn't sure i was up to it, but i felt i might be ...because of my mom. So i wrote her back and said let's hook up. 

2. My 82 year mom Elodie is a survivor of ovarian cancer- She was diagnosed with stage 4 when she was 65 years old. I went to the doctor's appointment with her that day because Elodie doesn't listen well and doesn't ask questions. 

There were two doctors in the room at Madigan who told Elodie she had stage four. My dad i'm pretty sure did not know what that meant. But I did because i had researched before the appointment. And when my mom hugged the two doctors and seemed excited i was certain she didn't know either. It wasn't until later that i understood that she thought there were TEN stages. We never told her that stage 4 was the worst... (especially for ovarian cancer). And 17 years later my mom is still alive and i think it's in part because she had such a great attitude and didn't know. 

Ramona wasn't uniformed about her diagnosis of course, but she did have that same kind of positive attitude and i thought it would get her through too- maybe not like my mom, (because Elodie is indestructible, like a cockroach, and will outlive us all),  but i thought Ramona had lots more time. 

3. I was not expecting to be so sad today when i heard this news. She was not my very best friend. She's not my longest friend. And we didn't do a lot together until the last year and a half. 

But i realized what it was that i am missing already.... and it's selfish i have to admit.  I didn't do THAT much for her but she made me feel like i did a lot. I am not that funny, but she let me know that she thought i was, especially on Facebook. In other words, she made me feel like i was a better person than i feel i am. Only a few people make me feel that way, which i deserve - considering my personality. 

4. What i really came to like about her is that she was so positive about so much. AND i loved that she was in no way passive aggressive, or pouty, or seething.... if something bothered her, she said told you. Ramona was very straightforward. A long time ago i made an offhand remark - some jokey thing about her flirting with guys (this was before she was married to her husband Paul) - and she called me on the phone later that day and told me that she didn't appreciate it. And i thanked her because she was right. And we were okay all the times i saw her next. Ramona was pretty fucking low maintenance, even when she shouldn't have been. 

5. Here's something about her teaching: About 15 years ago she had a little girl in her classroom who just happened to live in my condo community. I knew the little girl and her older brother well as they were always at the pool during the summer. Nice kids. And they had a VERY nice dad who was devoted to those kids but who later was sent to jail for something i don't know. And you could see it in the kids that they were troubled and missed their dad. When Ramona noticed that the girl started coming to school wearing her older brother's clothes she called me and Dorothy since we knew them. She was raising money to take the girl shopping to get clothes. Recently Ramona and I talked about that and she told me the student never wore the clothes that were purchased from the fundraising and we both laughed that she may have gotten it wrong because she realized the girl liked wearing her brother's clothes. 

She retired from teaching elementary school a few years ago. I was thinking today how she made me feel better about who i am and how as a teacher how wonderfully that must have translated to her students, the ones who really count. 

Rest in Peace, Ramona. I'm grateful that I did get the chance to know you better beyond just Facebook and the school district and the union. I really thought we had at least a few more games of Scrabble at Bur's and many more cups of coffee at Starbucks. It's weird because I keep waiting for you to 'like' a post on Facebook or to send a text. I hope that somehow you are able to read all of the Facebook posts about how much you will be missed. I will miss you too. 

She Died Doing Something She Hated..... (explained in # 3)

Let's just start the list.

 I couldn't run one more step once i crossed that finish line. They caught me smiling but only because I am looking at Brian.

1. I turned 60 earlier this month. In January I decided to train for another half marathon AND I set a dream goal to place first in my age division. The race was last Sunday.

I gave it my all - to the point that i started to feel sick at mile 9 hill, so i slowed down.  It was a warm day, it was a hilly course, (which i  had totally forgotten from the time i ran it four years before). Crossing the finish line i still felt a bit ill, but at least not in danger of throwing up.

It was disappointing not to break two hours because i had been on track to do that before that 9 mile hill.  (My time was 2:03, five minutes slower 2013; average mile split time= 9:26).  When got home i received an email that evening congratulating me - my time was good enough to place first! AND when considering the younger division ahead of mine  - 85 runners both divisions, i placed 3rd. (Overall, including men, out of 1000+ runners, i was in the top third crossing the finish line, not too shabby for someone 60 years old. )

Running for me is mental as well as physical.  I kept a spreadsheet and compared it to my past training spreadsheets (no surprise for those who know me.) It's about time, not miles- i never have an idea of how fast i am running. I just record minutes.  This year i made sure i logged in more training time than i did four years ago because i knew i would need that mental advantage.

I cannot pretend to not be proud of what i accomplished.  I'm basically a lazy person (except for how cleaning and organizing stuff in my home) and I'm really not much of an overachiever or a competitor. Turning 60 this year was my motivation.

2. So i'm 60. And now i can retired from racing. I will NEVER run another one again. I have nothing more to prove to myself. It was too f*cking boring training that last couple of months during the long runs.

3. Here's the thing. I don't love running. I am not just saying that. Each morning i get up, put on my running clothes and then procrastinate for about three or four or five hours before i get out there. I've even been known to start dusting the whole house, under the beds, on top of the refrigerator and door jams - that kind of dusting, just to put it off.

I told Brian if i ever drop dead on a run ( like the famous Jim Fixx runner who wrote books) he should put in my obituary" "She died doing something she hated."

4. I do hope to be able to run just or exercise at least a couple of more years. I also am going to start yoga again, because it does make me feel better in the morning, even if it does stress me out with the folks who show up late and make noise at the Y. I might get some good blogging stories from yoga.

5 . Enough of running. Talking about running is as boring to people who don't run as it it would be to me if a Born Again Christian wanted to talk to me about Jesus.(Not that i don't love Jesus, i just don't like talking about Him as if He was my best friend.)  Truthfully, Jesus could very well be a best friend, considering that He can change water into wine. (Jesus are you reading my blog? )

6. Today Gregg Allman died. Chris Cornell last week. All so young. Makes me glad i am not so talented or married to someone who is super talented (though he is pretty talented). Too many demons, too short a life.

7. Today was about 84 degees outside. After THE WORST winter and spring on record. Not my opinion, it's a fact. Rained more these past seasons than 1895 or something like that. This week is the first time they have forecasted more than 5 days of sunshine with no rain since last September.

8. I love the sun, but i can't deny that i also love the rain. When you like to read a lot and binge watch Netflix and On Demand DVRs of ER (remember that show?)... you need a little rain and cloudy days so you don't feel guilty. (Last time i checked my DVR of ER there were 49 episodes saved! hahahahaha... See what i mean by lazy?)

9. The Best Thing that Happened: As mentioned, it was my birthday recently. My husband and i kind of go all out on each other's birthdays and Christmas, i think because we don't have kids.We have LOTS of gifts for each other, but some are funny, like for example - he knows i love Haribo gummie bears and so he always buys them and wraps them up. But the best thing he gave me this year is not a present at all. It's what he said.

We don't celebrate our anniversary with presents or cards or going out to dinner. I got this idea from the Yaya board years ago (I wish i knew whose idea it was.) I bought us each a very nice journal. Each year we write in it about our year, around our anniversary and capture what happened in the writing. We don't always exchange the journals and in fact haven't read them in i think two or three years, but we keep writing in them. What i like about this is that one day one of us will be dead and the other will have these journals to read for comfort. AND it also is a timeline and diary of what happened because we don't write flowery, poetic goofy shit, a lot of it is what we did in the way of remodeling - sometimes as silly as talking about bowling or watching American Idol, Brian's bands, etc.

This year he wrapped up the journal and said to me, "you don't have to read it yet but i wrote in there 60 things about you that i really like because you turned 60". And then he added this...and this WAS the present..... He said: "It was so easy to write 60 things."

I need to leave on that note. Baybee....I know you don't read this blog anymore but maybe if i die before you and you are reading this years from now, just know that THAT was the best gift ever. That you thought it was easy. Because i don't think many people, even my immediate family and friends think that.

More race photos:

Made it! 

First hill, around mile 2. Still with it. 

Testing 1-2-3. I am going to start blogging again.

Even if no one is here, and why would they be since i have not been here since Dec. 3, 2016. But i think i want to start blogging more and doing Facebook less. I've been using FB as a blog anyway but i don't want some of the other stuff of FB so maybe if i blog i will check FB maybe less. I'll be back.

Just the Regular Random Stuff. Probably Draft #135.....

Like books, i start many blogs and then just end up quitting them. I should go back and count the drafts in my blogger history. Maybe even try and resurrect one. As usual i have no idea what i am going to write, but here is the mood. I am listening to Joan Baez Pandora and for some inexplicable reason, the Beach Boys showed up playing "Good Vibrations". I am drinking a really really good Italian wine i bought from Trader Joe's and the Christmas lights are making everything cozy, especially my cheesy Smart TV YouTube 4K HD streaming fireplace that sounds like such a real fireplace i keep having this expectant feeling that i need to stoke the fire!

Anyway, here we go.

1. I have never liked the Beach Boys. (I did like the movie about Brian Wilson though). I saw them in concert once because my ex wanted to go. And i thought Mike Love was a douchebag.  Rolling Stone recently had an article that affirmed that.

2. James Taylor just came on and that's more like it for Joan Baez but sometimes i don't like his voice. It's too whiney. I really don't care for his Christmas album that i bought a few years back.

3. My favorite Christmas song is The River by Joni Mitchell, which is not really a Christmas song.

4. I also like O come O come Emmanuel.

5. it is supposed to snow here Monday, but i will believe it when i see it. I am like an 8 year old hoping for a snow day when there is a forecast of snow! To me there is nothing more exciting with our weather than snow! I even get up in the middle of the night to see if it started. I do it every single time there is a threat of snow in the weather forecast.

6. Course i don't have to drive in it. and i never really did since i lived only two miles from home.

7. Jack Johnson is on now. I don't know what it is about that guy, but he doesn't move me with his music. And it's not bad, but i always feel like i want to fast forward. I( feel the same way about Dave Matthews.)

8. It took me over 5 hours to decorate my tree. My niece Kylee (who used to be a fabulous contributor to this blog) for years used to help me (since the age of 10, she is 25 or 26 now).  We  used to watch a movie afterwards. I made her watch Love Story with me once. when she was 15 cause it was MY favorite movie at that age.  We also watched Audrey Hepburn movies (because she loved them) and i think the last time we did this the movie was Annie Hall. We have not done this for two years now, because she lives further away and is married and busy working.  And now I understand how parents must feel when their kids grow up and move apart from the family. I miss this tradition with her. (Maybe Brady when he is older will want to help me. Or Lauren.)

9. For ummagumma, wherever she may be.

9. Something i hate: People who end comments or emails with "just sayin'". it is such a f*cking passive aggressive statement, as if they are being helpful. I also can't stand the dismissive "Whatever". And most times "just kidding" at the end of a sentence means just the opposite.

10. Dammit, just because i said that about Jack Johnson in #7 another stupid song of his comes on. I am playing Joan Baez radio and think i have only heard two songs by her in the last two hours.

11. Oh dear, i have a feeling that this is going to be Draft #136 because The Wedding Song just came on and this reminds me of my first wedding in 1978. I also had that horrible Debbie Boone song You Light Up My Life too. (Such a big hit that year. Such a sucky song. Such a lie.)

12. Obviously I have to change this Pandora channel,  but i'm waiting until i need to refill my wine glass.

13. Who is still reading here? pearl didn't stop by last post even with my shout out. amulbunny i always like seeing you here and thank you. My BFF louielouie quit coming. Equeyaya too. Bethany hasn't changed her own blog since June. And Amanda is pretty busy with her fabulous little boy. I really do sometimes wish Facebook was never invented.

14. The #1 reason i wish FB wasn't invented is all the sharing of the fucking fake news during this election. What an avenue for that shit! Facebook: The Highway to Sharing Shit Because Facts No Longer Matter. I really do kind of want to quit Facebook just over this. It was not hard for me to be gone. But i miss people on there. And since folks no longer email and call or blog anymore there is no way to keep in touch with folks i want to keep in touch with without it. So i just wish it went dark (like Gumbo YaYa, a message board i posted on for 10 years about the Rebecca Wells books) then we would have to find a different way to connect. Maybe blogging again!


I am just gonna hit Publish and be done with it! Besides i have to go stoke the fire.

Oh yeah, that's right. It's fake.

Draft #3... My Self Imposed Facebook Exile; Giving Thanks; etc.

Photo of bumper sticker that i have on my refrigerator 

I have started three drafts now in as many days and decided i cannot do this without a glass of wine. I have a harder time thinking about what to write with coffee than i do wine.

This draft might make it. Let me put some music on too.......Ok, that's better i'm streaming David Grohl's You Tube acoustic playing. Right now it's Learning to Fly. (David Grohl has to be the coolest guy on the planet. Seriously, can you think of a cooler guy?)

Let me just go ahead and number this and let her rip:

1. It has been two weeks today since The Last Election Before the Apocalypse. I deactivated my Facebook account over a week ago with the idea i would return after a week, but i am actually not missing it too much just yet. I may wait another week.

2. Because i have friended lots of union folks from my old job and many educators,  therefore my newsfeed pretty much exploded with the election. It's nice to have like-minded friends but they kept feeding Facebook with stories that were getting me all upset again (when he started picking his team)....JUST as i was calming down. (The shared stories were also getting redundant.) So i figured a break would be a good thing. But i'll be back. I miss too many people who don't email or blog anymore. (Plus I don't forget that FB has served me well by giving me a home base where my friends are able to educate me about many things, such as my trip to Italy.)

3. But yeah, i do sort of want to blame FB for paving the way for the fake news shit that was bandied about. People are getting worse and worse about not caring about facts and don't read beyond the headline. We have become a culture of getting our news from memes and tweets.  (pearl if you are reading i loved that article you put up that made that point ... it had a headline (paraphrasing) Bernie Sanders Can Be President Through a Little Known Loophole.

What's been making me feel a little better these days? I am wearing my Obama t-shirts since i can't wear my Hillary one that i just bought, (though i still have her bumper sticker on my front door).

4. One meme i did like was the one that said (and again I am paraphrasing) ...  "Forget about putting the Christ back in Christmas. Let's put Christ back in CHRISTIAN! "  A lot of folks who call themselves Christian supported Trump for reasons other than just normally voting a Republican ticket - i am talking about he ones that came out of their scurvy hidey hole to vote because they ARE racist. Jesus would NEVER EVER have voted for Trump. (Not saying he would vote for Hillary either, but i know He wouldn't vote for Trump and i'm not all that Christian but that is a faith i do have.)

What i can't wrap my head around is that more white WOMEN voted for Trump than Hillary. What the fucking fuck? 

5. The BEST meme about the election, in my opinion is,  (again I am paraphrasing since i can't check on FB to see).... "Not all Trump supporters are racist and misogynists, but what you are saying when you vote for him is that it's not a deal breaker."

6. This got me thinking about deal breakers if i were dating again. (This could be a whole blog separate blog post!) I am going to say my deal breakers are:

• doing drugs (not including pot, but they can't smoke it often if they do)
• smoking
• being right wing or voting for Trump
• being a born again Christian type who is always preaching about Jesus 
• not having a source of income or a retirement future
• not appreciating good music or books

7. Thankfully my husband fits this ticket!

My nephew took this photo of Brady last week. I love it so much! I had to Photoshop out my niece Kendall  because her face was hidden. But it makes a better photo. with just Brady. 

8. Now for my Thanksgiving Stuff:  

I've said it before: I am thankful for all of my nieces and nephews in my life and THEIR kids who have made it so easy for me to be childless and not regretful of my choice. (Brady's 4 month old sister Lauren is such a happy laughing baby like Brady was, she's cute with red hair too but when she gets a wee bit cuter i will put up a photo. ) I thought it would be so difficult babysitting two at a time, but so far the last three times have been great! 

9. I am thankful that we live in a country where we can protest the outcome of an election. I just wish those fucking anarchists would go back to their hovel. No one who didn't vote should be allowed to protest. I would make that rule ... hahaha.

10. I am thankful that we live in the Pacific Northwest! Where the weather is fairly mild and my politics match. I even like the rain. It goes along with my homebody personality.

11. I am thankful that we get to rent our friend Rita Cressman's new place on Vashon for four days starting Christmas day. It has a full 180 degree view of the Puget Sound, Mt. Rainier and the ferry going back and forth 12 times a day. What a great way to top off the holiday! 

12. I am thankful once again for a year where everyone i love and care about, family and friends, are alive and doing well, with the exception of Brian's mom who i am worried about. We just moved her in assisted living and right now she is in a nursing home in rehab because she fell only after being there for three days. It's been hard on the family watching her go downhill. She's a sweet amazing lady and i will miss her more than my own mom when she is not around. 

I could go on, but i gotta go pack for our trip over the mountain pass to Brian's sister's house for Thanksgiving tomorrow morning. It's a five hour drive which i ALWAYS hate. I might bring my leftover Xanax! hahaha. 

13. I am thankful for Xanax!  I wish it was a vitamin! I only take it when i'm traveling on an airplane. It almost makes me want to take MORE trips!...just for the Xanax Experience.

Happy Thanksgiving all!  Thanks for reading.