Sunday, April 29, 2012

More Stuff i Don't Get.

Sometimes when i am running i think about what to post on my blog. And earlier this week I saw something that made me want to do another one of these.  But now that i am sitting here getting ready to write this blog post i cannot for the life of me remember what i saw that made me think of this.

Maybe it will come to me.

1. I don't get people not having basic manners anymore. When did folks stop identifying themselves on the phone when they call for someone? I especially DETEST it when someone says with familiarity, "Hi Jo, can you put me through to Sam?" without telling me who THEY are.

2. No please either.

3. I don't get soccer moms. I can't believe moms really love going to outdoor soccer games early Saturday mornings in the pouring rain for the love of their kid. I guess it's because i hate soccer. I hate standing around in the rain. I don't have kids but if i did i would only let them go to the library on Saturday mornings because the library doesn't open up that early anyway.  I don't think i would love my kids enough to let them play soccer. (Good thing i didn't have them.)

4. I don't get why people have to exaggerate how hard they work by telling me they give 150%. A union member who is being RIFFED from her job told me this last week. I have brought this up before on this blog. The minute you tell me that just makes me believe your work ethic bar is very low. And that you are bad at math.

5. I don't get extreme athleticism. Or adrenaline junkies. Or people who love to live on the edge. I steer clear of all of them.

6. I don't understand how anyone cannot love wine.

7. I don't get how people can get so fat. I am talking about the people who are 600 lbs or something like that who can't leave their house. What's Eating Gilbert Grape's Mom kind of fat. How can anyone eat that much?

8. I don't get those things that young folks put in their ear lobes that put quarter size holes in their ears. I want to remind them all that someday they are going to get old and be sorry they did that. What are those things called anyway?

9. I just finished reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Holy Moly! What a book. Without giving too much away i will say i don't get the attraction. When i was around 14 years old i snuck Valley of the Dolls and Peyton Place to read so i could read all the juicy parts. These books pale so much in comparison to Fifty Shades and i bet lots of 14 year old girls will be doing what i did 40 years ago. (Not to mention all of the men who will be reading it in secret.)

10. I never got the chance to go to college and it pisses me off when kids feel entitled to college and then go off and blow it. (I especially don't get parents who allow it to happen.) If i saved all that money to send my little Roman or Harmony to college and they behaved like jackasses and never studied and only partied and flunked out i would make them pay me back for that year.

11. I don't get why anyone has kids anymore!

One of my comments explains the photo!


jojo cucina cucina said...

Shoot, i never did remember what i meant to put up here.

12. I don't get getting old.

louielouie said...

Thank heavens for a new post

Some stuff I don’t get and some other stuff I do:

1. I don't get people not having basic manners anymore – or not having basic grammar skills.

3. I don't get soccer moms. I can't believe moms really love going to outdoor soccer games early Saturday mornings in the pouring rain for the love of their kid.

I made my kids play indoor soccer. I was not a good enough mom to make the weather commitment. I do not see how parents can “never miss a game”; I don’t think your kid needs you there every single game and practice.

I think I was a fully committed wrestling mom. After all, I left a junior high dance I was chaperoning when my son was transported to the hospital from a wrestling tourney on a backboard. Got to the hospital right after his girl friend’s parents. They were committed.

4. I don't get why people have to exaggerate how hard they work by telling me they give 150%

I work really, really hard but I reality give about 75%

For example, I have a project I need to have done by morning and I’m doing this instead.

5. I don't get extreme ANYTHING. Athletics, diets, religion; I don’t even use superlatives in my speech.

6. I don't understand how anyone cannot love wine.

I totally get that. The older I get the more trouble I have with wine. I do get how people can become alcoholics. I maybe could, given enough time and money for good booze.

8. I don't get those things that young folks put in their ear lobes that put quarter size holes in their ears.

Ear gages (I think) are so much weirder to me then piercings or tattoos; I figure that’s exactly why young folks do it.

11. I don't get why anyone has kids anymore!

I get why some people don’t have kids, but deciding to have mine was the best decision I ever made. Or is it the best decisions I ever made?

Either way, I just spent a week with the two of them and it was great. They are great.

12. I do get getting old, but wish I didn't.

13. I don’t get vegans

amulbunny's random thoughts said...

1. If a person who is supposedly educated uses bad grammar, I weep for their children. Reading some blogs of homeschooling moms, I cringe in terror.

2. Manners the last bastion of civility.

3. I wouldn't let my daughter play softball because they played on Sunday mornings. Nope no way. We did little league and that was bad enough. Neither of them were interested in soccer thank God. I did honestly cheer for the kids playing ball though.

4. I know some people who do go above and beyond the boundaries of their job description but they are few and far between, and amazingly they don't brag about it.

5. I think it's scarier than all get out just to live sometimes. I don't need to bungee jump or parachute from a perfectly good airplane to get my thrills. Sometimes, it's just a sublime taste of a wonderful dessert.

6. I like wine, but a good cold beer is almost as good.

7. I wonder what goes through a person's mind as they eat themselves into a situation where they can't get up to pee or defecate and live in their own stench. It has to be a mental disorder.

8. My daughter's friend is doing that thing with her earlobes. I find it quite distracting. I can deal with the tattoo's my daughter has as they can be covered up. People see your ears.

9. I started it but SMDB is not my cup of tea. I read Anne Rice's trilogy of the Bondage of Sleeping Beauty (can't remember the whole name) and couldn't figure out why pony play was so wonderful?

10. There was an expectation that I would go to college from the time I started kindergarden. I was the first person on my dad's side to graduate from college. My mom had graduated from nurses training and she was an RN.

11. I had kids because my biological clock was ticking and I honestly thought that it was the best thing for me at that time. I love my kids, and had I started earlier (I was nearly 35 when the first one was born) I would have had more. But they have brought me such happiness in the last 25 years that I couldn't imagine life without them.

12. Vegans and raw food people. And the fact that they are so militant about it. I like my steak and I like a crab leg now and again. Soy milk makes me break out, don't like the taste of other "faux" milks. Never will understand them.

13. I wish that Dick Wolf would make a Law and Order Criminal Intent mini series or TV Film. I miss my Bobby Goren and Alex Eames.

jojo cucina cucina said...

y'all are good at this! Even as you are expanding somewhat off of mine.

1. louie/sarah, i like your number 4. That's how i feel too. Somedays i do 60%. I never understand how this time of year when folks call the union office pissed off that their evaluation has one needs improvement like that's a bad thing. HELLO... it's an evaluation. Nobody is perfect. (Not even God. Maybe for sure not God.) Your #4 would make me want to hire you if i were a boss and somehow that came up in an interview.

louie's #6. I get your #6 too. I remember my friend Dorothy telling me this about wine and getting older. I have to weigh: do i want to sleep at night? Or do i want some wine? Sometimes the sleep wins. But most weekends the wine does. (It also seems to affect me much more quickly but i attribute that to blood pressure meds not age.)

louie's #8. GAGES! yes, that's what they are called. GROSS.

louie's #13. Vegans. I would have mentioned vegans but i'm almost starting to get militant in my gripes against vegans so i didn't bring it up.

amulbunnyi yes! your #5!

amulbunny's #9...OMG, what is pony play? I dont' think i want to know.

I did finish the Fifty Shades of Grey last night. It ends rather abruptly so you will buy the next book in the trilogy. I'm going to find someone who already has it. I do not want to buy another one.

I did remember what made me think of this post. . . I don't get anyone running a full marathon. I was thinking how i was almost at the end of my very long run how it would feel to know i was only halfway done. yikes. I kind of get half marathons. But i don't believe a body is meant to go 26.2 miles. How does anyone in the world have the time to for such a run?

Amanda said...

I don't get the appeal of Fifty Shades of Grey. It's awful. Really, really awful. The dialogue is distractingly ridiculous. And, the hero is both an asshole and a ginger. Come on now, a ginger? Really? A skinny ginger with grey eyes and bipolar personality? In my head, he looks like Rick Astley, which only contributes to the book being more humorous than anything else.

I'm trying to get through it, but it's so bad. I don't see that it's very erotic. It's graphic, yes, but every time she refers to her "behind" I feel like I'm reading one of my mom's romance books in the back of the school bus. It's not shocking. It makes me laugh because of how stupid it is. Thank goodness the stupidity is entertaining.

However, it is depressing that this HORRIBLE WRITER will never have to work again because women are so horny and hard-up they think this book is good. Writing is all about confidence, I guess. This woman thought it was good enough to get published and she was right. It's giving me depression.

Things I don't get:
• Tattoos
• Eating and slurping noises in commercials (so gross)
• The $800 sundress I saw in SELF magazine this morning
• The name Marcus (two friends have new babies named Marcus and all I can say in my head is Mucus)
• The national obsession with bacon

I gave this comment a solid 65 percent effort.

jojo cucina cucina said...

Amanda! There you be! I think it would be great fun to have a Fifty Shades of Grey bookclub meeting to trash the book. I read a review somewhere where someone counted how many times Christian "cocked his head", how many times the chick (shit, i forgot her name already) 'bit her lip" and all of the number of orgasms. It was hysterical. I wish i had thought to do that.

It's as poorly written nearly as The Most Poorly Written Popular Book in the World (IMO) and by that i mean of course, The Shack.

I don't know what a ginger is. Please explain. And who is Rick Astley. Here is who i picture when i read the book: Remember the show Nip/Tuck? The guy's name was even Christian and i really don't think that is a coincidence. I believe this woman has some original ideas about sex in books (course, what do i know i haven't read erotica fiction before) but she is not original as a writer. The main character reminds me of that guy. I think i'll try and find the photo of him and put it up since i am lacking in one for this blog post.

jojo cucina cucina said...

Ok, there i found the best shot of him i could. He doesn't do it for me, but i know he does it for other women. He's all about sex on Nip/Tuck and i think the Fifty Shades author has a crush on him.

jojo cucina cucina said...

Amanda, i can't believe you didn't remember the "inner goddess"!

louie/louie, i need to get this book to you.

jojo cucina cucina said...

Shouting out to y'all reading the blog but not posting. If you are reading this book, please weigh in. I think it would be fun to have a blog post just to make fun of this book. But we would need more than Amanda and me. And louie, who i know will tear through it in a day once i get a copy to her.

jojo cucina cucina said...

Housewife Porn. That's something else i read in a review. And another person wrote, 'true friends don't let friends read bad erotica'. There's good erotica? You mean stuff that doesn't involve the Fabio type character on the front of the paperback? I read ALOT. but i never got into anything like this before.

jojo cucina cucina said...

Ok, i'm signing off now. I heard the MayDay protest blew up in Seattle and i already know my nieces (who live there) are okay. Kylee told me they sent them home early as it was heating up and when i called she was home already (she works downtown where it was going on.) I'm going to watch the news now.

Think about it y'all. A trash blog post on Fifty Shades.
It does piss me off that i am so sure that both Amanda and I are better writers and this women, whatever the hell her initials are, is going to be a zillionaire. We both write 150% better than SHE does!


Amanda said...

The biting the lip thing is driving me nuts, as is the inner goddess and her subconscious. By definition, her subconscious can't be shouting to her; you can't be conscious of your subconscious. So ridiculous.

A ginger is a redhead. This is Rick Astley:

So not sexy.

Amy said...

Hi Jo. I work with Brian and Amanda and read your blog often. I'm a graphic designer and prefer not to write anything but I can't resist now that Fifty Shades has been brought up. I'm on book two, Fifty Shades Darker. I loved the first book though I knew it was lame. The lameness is part of the appeal to me. I should have prefaced this by saying I've read the Twilight series five times. FIVE TIMES! I'm not happy about it. I know it's stupid but there is something about books written at a 3rd grade reading level that appeals to me.

Here are some of my thoughts.
• All the murmuring and muttering. SPEAK UP!
• The inner goddess thing can do nothing but make you laugh. I can't remember the last time my inner goddess did a cartwheel.
• I want to do a find an replace with "behind" to "ass." If your going to have that graphic contract and say "Holy Shit" in italics every paragraph you can say ass.
• What's with the bronze hair. Edward in Twilight had bronze hair and Christian has bronze hair. Bronze = red. Red = GINGER!
• What exactly is he touching when he touches her sex?
• I think Christian suffers from premature ejaculation.

This book is so close to Twilight it's ridiculous. She was quite brilliant in jumping on this idea when she did. There are millions of adult women who were obsessed with Twilight. She just grabbed that customer base. Christian does to Ana what I often wished Edward would do to Bella.


jojo cucina cucina said...

oooh, Amanda. I have never heard the term 'ginger'! Rick Astley is so NOT HOT. LOLOL.. That is a pretty funny YouTube. I could not watch the whole thing. I really think the character is supposed to the actor in the picture i put up. Nip/Tuck was almost like 50 Shades and i swear the name Christian comes from Nip/Tuck.

AMY!!!!!!!!!!! yay! it took Fifty Shades to get you here, but here you are! I don't think we've met through Brian, but i did see your wedding photos! y'all are so cute!

I was wondering if the other two books go back into Christian's background with "Mrs. Robinson". And also his real crack whore mom. Do they?

And yeah, if you are going to use cute words like 'behind', 'inner goddess' and 'my sex' but still use the other nasty words, not to mention the nasty things with the flogger etc. i don't get the cute words.

When this first came out i did describe it (before reading any reviews) as the Twilight books for grownups with more sex, but the same irritating kind of characters. I'm cracking up (but i promise not to judge) that you read the Twilight books 5 times. (Somewhere i rewrote the first one myself in five sentences. I think it's on this blog somewhere. )

There is nobody in the book i like. Nobody. Maybe the photographer dude but he is very undeveloped. LOL...PUN INTENDED.

Amy, thanks for jumping on board. I hope you stick around!

jojo cucina cucina said...

Remember the old bodice ripper books where they always talked about a "throbbing member"? That's what "inner goddess" reminds me of.

Here's another thing i don't get.

13. Timeline on Facebook. My profile page never seems to be in any order. So it's even misnamed.

14. i don't get why anyone would take up smoking. YOu cut your dating chances in half, maybe more; you cut your life by a few years, maybe more; you cut your bank balance by a few thousand dollars a year; and not to mention the clothes and furniture you ruin.

Ok, i digress, back to Fifty Shades.

I'm thinking that there is something weird too about Kate's boyfriend who is also Christian's brother. Not sure yet. It bugs me that she starts acting gaga and googly over this guy the brother when that is clearly not supposed to be her personality.

jojo cucina cucina said...

#15. I don't get those "In Loving Memory" decals on the back window of cars. What is up with that? Is it for attention? Does anyone need a traveling obituary for years on end?

JJ said...

What's with that guys eyebrows anyway?

OK - if no one is reading your book after you I need to borrow it if we are going to trash it. I read all three Twilight books too - and I thought they were stupid but like using crack. You want to quit but you can't.

So I am in that Cannon Beach Bookstore this weekend - and one of the ladies I am traveling with says "You've heard about THESE haven't you?" referring to the "Fifty Shades" books (they were on a table entitled "Beach Reads".) I don't get TV or the paper so I say "ummmm - what did I miss" and pick up the first one and open it randomly. To the rules for the dominant person and the subject or slave or whatever the correct terminology is.

Then I read the back cover and say "Never date a man who is described as enigmatic and reserved." I must have said it too loud because some guy in the bookstore says "That sounds like good advice."

Someone let me borrow a book so I don't have to buy one.

jojo cucina cucina said...

JJ/julie...If louie/sarah doesn't want my copy i will send it to you. I am still waiting for her to weigh in on this. I can send it in the courier. Is it against union rules to send erotica through the district courier? I'll have to read the bargaining agreement.

Amy said...

JJ - There are 4 Twilight books. Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. If you haven't read Breaking Dawn yet you must. It's the best of the 4........gosh I'm so ashamed of myself.

jojo cucina cucina said...

Amy, how can there by FOUR books in the trilogy? Oh God. Let's hope there is no more Shacks. I think besides the Twilight books and these Fifty Shader books the other book that makes me crazy because it sold so well is The Shack. the one where Jesus is a large black woman. (I kept picturing the mom from The Jeffersons). I can just picture it:

Shack #2: The Remodel; (after all Jesus WAS a carpenter, right? )

Shack #3 HG Channel Comes Calling;

Shack #4 Property Brothers Edition

jojo cucina cucina said...

Seriously, anyone reading the Fifty Shades books has to admit i put up a mighty perfect picture for the character. He is even wearing a white shirt like the Christian character in the book seemed to only own.

And while we're at it, how about the button of his jeans always being undone. Is that supposed to turn us on????

(I have to admit it might it the jeans were on Mark Wahlberg during the Calvin Klein underpants era.

OK, i'm gonna sign off. It's not that much fun blogging on a Friday night without wine. I have a long run to do tomorrow, it's my last long run before the race so i carbo loaded at lunch and I carbo loaded at dinner and i had a beer (cause they have more cards than wine) and now i'm going to go drink a bunch of water and watch a movie.

Amy! you crack me up. If we aren't ashamed for reading Fifty Shades you don't have to be either.

I LOVE people who tell on themselves!

jojo cucina cucina said...

i need an edit button. I don't want louie to yell at me about my grammar i meant to say:

Let's hope there ARE no more Shacks.

ARE. not IS..... I might get messed up with "i wish i was" vs "I wish I were" but i did know better on this.

susieatl said...

Fifty Shades started as really bad fan fiction with Edward and Bella. People on the site loved it so much she changed the names, some circumstances and have a book.

It's being made into a movie - how the hell are they going to do that?

NO ONE has that much sex. ever. Not even on Viagra..

They should cast Rick Astley as the lead..snort!!!

jojo cucina cucina said...

Hey susie! I heard that Fifty Shades was being made into a movie. And here's the kicker....someone at work told me that Zac Efron was playing the role of Christian. NO way. He's a boy and you know he would be a premature ejaculator! I think Zac Giafianakalis (or whatever that dude's name is - you know the one, from The Hangover), would be a better pick to play the part than Efron!

Ok kidding aside from the redhead/ginger Rick Astley, who would be a good actor to play the part? I tried to keep picturing Brad Pitt as i read the book to see if i could make myself attracted to such a character but even picturing Brad Pitt (from his Legends of the Fall or Fight Club era) couldn't do it for me. But i have to admit Brad Pitt with the top button of his jeans undone might turn me on.

In other news and for documentation of my half marathon training i ran my second Sat. in a row of two whole hours running non-stop. It was not bad. I have been able to protect my knees by running near the middle of the road (where it's more level) on the back neighborhood roads that don't get much traffic. One guy today drove by me (on the other side mind you - was not even in his lane) shaking his finger at me. And he was the only car around. Did i say this already? The only folks that barely give me room are really older drivers. By God they will not cross that yellow line for a runner (and probably a bicyclist either) even if they are the only car for miles. It makes me crazy. Every time this happens i stop to see and it's ALWAYS an older driver.

I guess if it were a younger driver they might just mow me down. But it's not like i'm taking up too much room and i only do it when no car is coming my way and i am running against traffic.

But my knees are doing great. And when i used to just do my regular runs i never paid attention to worrying about them and my left knee always bugged me before i started doing this.

Ok, enough of the boring running talk. I put this up cause i think i will want a record of what i did, not that i plan on doing this again.

I have as much chance of running another half marathon as i do of having a baby.

But i really had wished i kept notes the last time i ran this race so i would have some inkling of how i trained before. For example, i don't think i started working at it as early as i did this year.

I started on Jan. 13. The race is May 20. That's a long time to do something you don't love.

But i have to say this. I lost a couple of real pounds even as i was eating my usual bad winter food, i.e. carbohydrates. I put those carbs to good use. And i got myself outside which also helps with Seasonal Affective Disorder. And i got myself out of bed on Saturdays. I used to lay around and watch the HG channel for HOURS on a Saturday. So i feel good.

But i probably will never do it again.

jojo cucina cucina said...

I just realized that my training schedule matches my old American Idol schedule when i used to watch! It started in January and ended in mid-May and we were so addicted to that show a few years ago it was our whole reason for getting DVR!

Now we never watch it and don't miss it at all.

Amy said...

Twilight isn't a trilogy. It's a saga :)

I just finished book 2 of Fifty Shades. It's getting hard for me to stay interested. The sex hasn't really changed from the first book and I'm bored of it. When you think the story might get interesting it just sort of fizzles out. Spoiler alert!: One of Christian's ex's starts stalking Ana. She buys a gun. She shows up in Ana's apartment. She almost is threatening when Christian rushes in, takes the gun, cleans her up and sends her to therapy. All in the span of a couple pages. Seriously? Ana does get super jealous that Christian cleans her up but they do it again and she gets over it.

jojo cucina cucina said...

Amy! I was up at 3 am the other day so i booted up my Kindle Fire and checked Facebook and then checked out reviews on the 2nd Fifty Shades book and they all pretty much say what you just did. It was boring because it was so redundant, the sex situations. Many mentioned the first book was so much better written and i'm thinking OMG, no way am i reading the second one now, how could it be worse?

I had NO idea that this was originally an online Twilight-y saga before it was a book. I wish a publisher was reading my blog and called me up and said, let's make this into a book! hahahaha....

Amy said...

My mom is reading Fifty Shades and she loves it. The things she finds so interesting I don't even process. I'm on book 3 and slowly plugging along. I bought the book so I will finish it. When I was in the middle of the first book I wanted everyone else to read it. As I make my way through the third book I wouldn't recommend anyone read more than the first book. The second and third book ruined the first book for me. I can't even remember what it was about or why I liked it. My inner goddess has been taking a nap since book two started.

You and Amanda both need your blogs made into books! They would be fantastic!