i am never more happy than when i am ranting about stuff. And i've been talking about my love/hate relationship with Facebook ever since i joined. Now that Sarah/louielouie is on Facebook i thought it might be fun for us all to rant about what we hate about Facebook.
Here we go... I sort of have an idea about what i am going to say, but i think some stuff will just come to me as i go:
1. First off I've been sick for a whole week now. And you didn't see it on Facebook now, did you? I wouldn't even mention it here except to make my point. If you are sick, why are you even thinking about Facebook? You know how i knew i was sick? ... i didn't want a glass of wine, i missed running 6 days in a row (that hasn't happened in over 3 years), my head hurt too much for me to even read a book, and i didn't feel like checking Facebook.
If you are posting about being sick on Facebook, turn off the computer and get your ass to work. I do not feel sorry for you. Because you're not THAT sick. (I do, however feel sorry for me, and i want you to also, because i was sick on my vacation days!)
2. OMG, the e-card cutie shit. Please stop with that! If you made up the quote or joke yourself, well get on with your bad clever self then...but if you are constantly stealing it from Pinterest - just know that everyone else is (and i bet even louielouie's 6 friends too) are already duplicating that post. Redundancy is a Facebook sin!
3. Quit posting those sad and gruesome photos of the babies with the deformities so that everyone can send prayers. First of all. Jesus doesn't have a Facebook page. (I know, cause I checked.) I recently hid a photo of a baby that was being passed around: the baby had been born with his heart on the outside of his body. I am not kidding. Nobody needs this on Facebook.
4. If someone you love is dying of cancer, do not put it on Facebook for everyone to see. It's far too serious. Email your real friends, you know you can do that at the same time. ,The rest of us who don't really know you for real don't need this information and never know what to say, except the usual banality and i'm sure that doesn't make you feel better anyway.
I don't think Facebook was set up to break horrible bad news to people and it's a risk to do this, not to mention a lazy way to get information out. AND if i ever get really sick and someone posted it on Facebook, i will tell you now that i won't be so sick that i can't come over and kick some ass.
5. You know those posts with all the letters in rows? They ask you what is the first word you see. OK, it's ALWAYS LOVE or some other touchy feely word, and it's usually positioned exactly where the eye is trained to go, on the left upper corner near the top, but not at the top top. You are not special for finding this hidden word, okay? And it doesn't make you a nicer person because you found it. Because i find it every single time.
6. Same with those photos of trying to find the hidden faces in pictures. Those are easy. They don't make you a genius. If you can't find them, then you are probably drunk on your ass. (Though normally, i highly recommend posting on Facebook while slightly enebriated... makes it more interesting.)
7. If you only posts photos of your babies and children, you are getting hidden by me. I love photos of babies doing unusual things and with special smiles. But you have to post other things too for me to like them. I don't need to see 84,000 photos of your kid who pretty much looks the same in every one of them. In fact, before you even post any photos, think about how redundant they might be.
8. If you are going to post about politics, this is fine. I love reading about politics most times. I like hearing about opinions too. But be careful. Do do not incite folks to start a raging war on your post. That just makes you a total ass. Use words about how you feel about something. Don't intentionally try to inflame. Otherwise that makes you a Republican! (hahah, just kidding.)
I have more of these. I'm just getting started. PLEASE come add yours. And please don't take it personally if i mention something you do here. I honestly don't think i am talking about anyone who is a regular here anyway.
Mark Zuckerberg should make me the Facebook Czar. I will be looking for a job soon!
Notes to Self:
Sunset: 4:33 pm
All time blog posts: 38, 114
Blog views yesterday: 33
In the news: fiscal cliff averted (not sure averted is the right word....)