Sunday, March 10, 2013

jojo and louie's Self Help Book ideas...


This photo could accompany the chapter titled: What Not To Wear the Morning After
Menu of the Day: 

Book: Some crime novel, not good enough to list, but it's fun because it's got many references about Tacoma area/Pacific Northwest and Ted Bundy. Sometimes i need escape reading.

What i can't get out of my head: That song i bought from Rhianna called Stay. hahaha, i just know if i were a young girl in a difficult relationship i would probably be playing this song over and over. 

Product endorsement: i have FINALLY found the perfect jeans. I don't even care that they cost $189. I am talking about '7 for all Mankind' jeans. I got fed up with the Not Your Daughter Jeans so i went to a different department and found a young savvy clerk. I told her i wanted no skinny jeans, not too low waisted and no over embellished pockets. She sold me these. I loved them so much i went and bought another pair. 

Some Good News...maybe: About our taxes. Our CFO at work told me not to file until she contacted the the retirement tax attorney. Turns out that the retirement withdrawal penalty is if you have a retirement that is sitting there that you take out of and because mine is a monthly payout for the rest of my life i am exempt from the penalty after all. She is working on getting my 1099 changed. 

The Photo: This was taken one morning last December. If you look closely the plaids don't really match, though they look like they do. When i saw Brian wearing these, not even trying to be funny, i grabbed my camera. (He made me promise i wouldn't put it on Facebook, but i never said i wouldn't post it here!)

Bitch of the Day: I am having the worst time formatting this blog post tonight, because no matter how many times i go back to change the font issues (since i copied and pasted from that Wicked Word) it retreats to the original horrible Times Roman. I'm trying to HTML fix it, but i keep deleting certain words too. So this is probably going to have to look funny. Which i hate, because it messes with my OCD. 



*********************

My idea is that our Anti-Self Help book is sort of like what Stephen Colbert does :  it demonstrates the absurdity of certain actions/opinions when you act like the proponent of said action/opinion. 

Here are my ideas for chapters. I hope y'all come up with some chapter ideas. Later I would like to maybe take a chapter here and there and blog about what the content would be. 

A few ideas: 

1. 10 ways you can get yourself fired.

2. How to make your friends want to drop you like a hot potato as you plan your wedding...your baby...your divorce.

3. How to cook for vegans and gluten free friends. Maybe a different chapter on how to cook for vegans and gluten free people you don't like so much. (They would be different recipes!)

4. How to tell if you have Aspbergers or OCD.

5. Hairstyles that don't work anymore for women over 40.

6. How to dress like a tramp.

7. How to get people to feel sorry for you. 

8. 5 ways to scare off a new possible boyfriend.

9. 10 ways to make your boyfriend's mother not like you. 

10. How to be uncool when talking to teenagers. 


Notes to Self: 

Longest run this week: 1 hour, 15 minutes (twice!)

Sunset: 6:08 yesterday, which means past 7:00 tonight!

Shout Out: Mandy! Do you still read here? (Also i hope Linda B. if for no other reason than to see Plaid Brian.)


Welcome: MaryAnn, a funny former Gumbo YaYa pal from years back!


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29 comments:

jojo cucina cucina said...

i think i got it fixed. i changed everything to default font.

Amy said...

Hi Jo! I had a new jean discovery this weekend. I went to the South Hill Mall with my mom and sister yesterday and they had this big scanning machine over by the food court. It scans you, takes over 2000 measurments, and tells you what size and types of jeans would work best for your body. My mom was brave enough to do it. I'm not ready to face the reality of my actual size. When done she got a print out of what jeans styles to try and where they were available. She ended up finding a great pair at JCPennys. You can also get printouts of other outfits that would work good for your body but we tested it with jeans. It was totally free and if you bought anything from your list and showed the scanner people your receipt you got a $5 gift card to the pretzel place. Technology is awesome!

MaryAnn said...

Yay! Hi Jo! Glad you're back! I love your memo format, no need to think about how to segway from topic to topic, and an upgrade from the lists :) lol

Book: Still Hunger Games. God, I hope Im still not listing that a month from now. If so, I better hope you drop it from the menu. i did read 6 pages. It seemed rather interesting, actually. Problem was I had finally got my hands on some wine and had a gew glasses before lying down to read. took me 6 pages to decide to turn off the lights and sleep it off.

What I cant get out of my head: dates, deadlines, outlines, priority lists, lists of things I need, to do lists, dates, deadlines, outlines, lists of sponsors, lists of cities, lists of things I need, dates, deadlines, outlines...getting the picture? My head is swimming and there is so much to do I am barely able to keep it all straight! But Im definitely thinking of it. All of it.

Product Endorsement: First of all, though I can t afford to purchase them anymore (or at least at this point, one day that WILL change) Seven jeans are absolutely the BEST jeans ever ever ever, at least for me. I feel great when I wear them and I'll even go as far as saying i look great in them too! Glad you've discovered them! And as a funny but true fact...Old Navy jeans are famously known to be Good Ass jeans. Id love to check out that machine Amy is talking about. never heard of such a thing! Either the East Coast is losing its trendy edge or I need to get out more! But my official product endorsement is something totally different. The Cucumber scented body moisturizer by Suave. very fresh, very spring, and you can feel your skin drinking it :)

Some good news: I ordered a pair of eyeglasses. Its been years since I have had a pair of new eyeglasses. My last ones were many many many years old. (as in over 10 yrs!) I'll admit, only got the glasses because the other ones were lost and I am on my last pair of contacts and realized the dire need that was suddenly before me. Got some cool purple ones with the rectangle frame..so NOT me, but Ive heard they are cool. Snce I AM cool, I thought it was time to look the part as well.

The Photo: sigh...jo.

Bitch of the Day: FB in general. Ive logged off until at least tomorrow.

About the self help book...Goodness, I was laughing my rear off at some of the ideas you already have. And I certainly love the one you added in comments about How to Feel Less Guilty About Being Lazy. I could add How to Accomplish Nothing While Staying Very Busy. One I might add after my weekend..How To Act Friendly to a Neighbor While keeping Them on Their Side of the Fence

Mary Mosso said...

Just so you know, I had to create a new profile! I forgot my password and cant get into my account! So I believe I am now just simply Mary...lol

MaryAnn Mosso said...

Testing...lol

jojo cucina cucina said...

Amy! I need to try that machine out ! I have wasted more money buying jeans than anything and i often thought i might even want to pay a tailor to make them to fit me perfectly for all the money i have thrown away on the ones that don't fit. Why does it seem like they do in the store anyway?

Jeans are an obsession with me. Or more importantly finding the right ones. I thought i had them with Christopher Blue for awhile but Nordstrom quit selling them.

MaryAnn, you crack me up! I am afraid that if i don't get a job beyond August with this retirement that it will be the lists i miss the most! Though of course, i still have my blog. Hahaha... Hunger Games is worth more than 6 pages.

I love when i get new eyeglasses! I need to try again for bifocals. I've had two pair made that i can't wear even though i tried. I am going to a new doctor to see if that makes a difference.

Re: Old Navy Jeans. I have a very old pair of Old Navy heavier olive denim cargo pants that i love still because i think they don't make my butt look like a square. They have bleach on them from when i used to take care of the condo pool. And when the zipper broke, not that long ago i even took them to a tailor to have a new one put in and they were probably 10 years old then! Maybe they really are the Good Ass Jeans and that's why i hang on to them.

I got the good news today. My retirement made a mistake on my 1099 and i'm getting a new one. No penalty. NO huge hit on taxes. Over $4000 i am saving! When i first heard i never thought i could be a mistake.

I think i'm going to spend all that money on new 7 for all Mankind jeans! hahahaha. And i'll buy a bottle of good wine for that CFO who helped me.

jojo cucina cucina said...

By the way, i think my next blog post is going to be one of those titles. So y'all should let me know what you want to blog about first! And where is louie anyway? I am not sharing the royalties from our sales if you don't pull your weight and help me out here!

jojo cucina cucina said...

Amy, did you show Linda Plaid Brian????

MaryAnn Mosso said...

Read the 1st 3 chapters last night. Im hooked. Im sure I'll see the movie at some point, But like you, since Hollywood has taken over, I prob wont go into this trilogy any further.

Going to have a productive day now...

Amy said...

Linda's been out sick but it will happen when she gets back :) Plaid Brian made my day yesterday!

jojo cucina cucina said...

i know, isn't he cute, Amy?

MaryAnn Mosso said...

haha..Im scrolling your blog looking for ideas for the class assignment due Thurs. Well, its due tomorrow afternoon but I can turn in Thurs am without penalty. The assignment? Write 500 words in the 1st person about something that bugs me. The 500 words arguing the other point of view. and then 500 words reaching a consensus. LOL Figured I could find something creative that's buggable somewhere on here.

jojo cucina cucina said...

I had a post here somewhere about what makes my panties get twisted. Let me go find it MaryAnn!

jojo cucina cucina said...

http://jo-letmetellyouwhatithink.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2009-02-12T20:22:00-08:00&max-results=7

http://jo-letmetellyouwhatithink.blogspot.com/2009/04/my-underpants-are-twisted-today.html

http://jo-letmetellyouwhatithink.blogspot.com/2010/11/things-that-shouldnt-be.html

http://jo-letmetellyouwhatithink.blogspot.com/2011/06/stuff-i-dont-like-to-do.html

copy and paste that in your browser!

louielouie said...

OMG
I have been working so hard and so long I am logging on for the first time in days.

Don't finish the book without me;

My chapters:

1. How to be the best ex-wife. Ever.

2. 65 ways to use cheese.

3. What to do if "My mother in-law hates me"

4. Living with a perfectionist.

5. Living with a slacker if you're a perfectionist.

6. The importance of matching plaids when making pants.

7. Six ways to make babies cry.

8. Ten clothing hints to get noticed at a funeral.

9. The art of farting in public.

10. Blue eye shadow. It's not for everyone.

jojo cucina cucina said...

I LOVE your #7. hahahaha.

These are great. I know i have more ideas that i will come up with. And i know the rest of y'all do too. This is going to be a big book.

#8 is pretty great too.

jojo cucina cucina said...

Going off louie's #6 did y'all notice that Brian's plaids are matching? Not sure i would take the trouble with pjs!

MaryAnn Mosso said...

Her #7 was hilarious. That would be a really fun one to play with! As for the plaids...ugh...I couldn't bring myself to focus on it enough to render an opinion

MaryAnn Mosso said...

Read the Hunger Games...from 1 - 5am. Ask me how I'm feeling today?! Woke up unexpectedly at 1 and figured I would read a few minutes until my eyes got heavy again. Didn't happen. But I LOVED the book! I think I want to get the second book now. But if I do, I am not watching the 1st movie. I want to stay in my happy place with this.

louielouie said...

Actually, it looks like the plaids in Brian's pants DO match (must be high quality), they just don't match the plaid of the shirt. Frankly, I think that's a good thing

Actually, hard to tell for sure about the matching plaids without seeing the side seams. Think you could get another shot from the side? from behind?

Just askin

Swiss said...

I am on here - I am really really on here...as in you like me, you really like me (and I agree about Sally Fields.) I love the idea of the NO Self help book ideas.....I was really “really” (geeeh) into buying those type of books and even did not throw them all out like I still needed some.....they are all about if I buy this I will change, I will love myself, people will love me, I will be thin great wonderful, smart. I will be fabulous, just sleep on the books and all will be well. It is a sick addiction.....I need The "How to Stop Buying Self Help Books Book". "How to get fat and always feel fat and good about feeling fat". "How to lose money, disinterest friends and influence stupid people". "The don't Cook, cook book".
I need to write too and hope the more I write the better I get as I noticed you have...although you do have to start with something- hmmmmm I reread the blog posts I tried to wrte a few years ago.....I am thinking writing for me is good enough. I enjoyed getting back here and catching up...I sold my soul to Google to do it though.

I thought the bottoms were wrong side out…or inside out…or whatever the correct way of saying that is….

jojo cucina cucina said...

Swiss...hahahaha...'How to stop buying self-help books'...and selling your soul to Google! You make me laugh. I will change this post in a couple of days. I am going to choose one of our chapter ideas here. Which one should we start with?

MaryAnn Mosso said...

Swiss, you just made my day! LOL

Amy said...

Linda just saw Plaid Brian and is completely speechless :)

jojo cucina cucina said...

How about 'How to be uncool'... just in general. But also when talking to teenagers. Don't add them here...just be thinking of them for the next post!

Facebook messes with me...i tried to 'Like' your comment MaryAnn... btw...do you go by MaryAnn or Mary?

jojo cucina cucina said...

We are in Sequim in a very cool house on the beach. The wind is wicked but may finally be dying down. I have a Halloween Head ..which is what i call it when my allergies go into overdrive. Wine isn't helping. I hope it's better tomorrow cause otherwise i am wasting vacation. And i do really like being here...very nice kitchen!

jojo cucina cucina said...

I meant to add that i started to change this blog but will wait til i have my juice going.

Swiss said...

I remember when you posted about the place....that sucks that you are having Halloween head- it is tomorrow I hope you are better.

jojo cucina cucina said...

Thank you swiss! I am good to go!