Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I have no idea what's on my mind.

...but i'm going to see what we go....
1. The Oklahoma tornado just hit last Monday and now you all have my permission to kick my ass if i complain about our Pacific Northwest gloomy weather, semen colored summer skies again.

2. I'm not saying i won't complain about it, cause i will forget eventually and bitch about it by this time next year. I'm just sayin' you can beat me up for bitching.

3. I got a third pair of bifocals in as many years and they still aren't right. I'm back to wearing my Costco readers. So tell me why they can make an old man's dick get hard (even when the wife is wearing her ugly big mama's and a big flannel nightgown) but they can't make your eyes work once you're older?

 I told my husband they should be able by now to take our eyeballs out of our head and put them in a tumbler that shapes them just right so we can all see perfectly. Penises over eyesight. In the words of what The Thug Kitchen dude would say if the Thug was a girl: Penises over eyesight? That's fucked! Eat more carrots! 

4. ....Not to mention penises over menopause!

5. Ok, Ok....i think i remember that i said i would not talk about my menopause issues anymore.

6. Only i can't remember for sure it was menopause or retirement i was going to stop talking about...I can't remember  since i am in menopause!

Let me interrupt this blog to put on some music. I am going to close my eyes and click into my library and play that song.


7. Ok, I'm back...."You Ain't Alone" by Alabama Shakes is now playing. (hahaha. i don't like to scroll too much. I've never been very adventurous with my eyes closed so i stopped at the A's...not a bad song to stop at though.)

8. I was excited to know that Ben Affleck was closing out SNL this season, only to be disappointed in his performance. Did he not show up at all for rehearsals all week? He clearly was reading his cue cards. (Almost worse than Robert DeNiro years ago.) The whole show was so lame compared to Mick Jagger's close last year at this time.

9. I got a massage yesterday. My husband bought it for me for one of my birthday presents for doing the half marathon last Sunday. It was fabulous!  If i were rich i would get one every day! (I always wonder why people don't get massages instead of spending their money trying to escape life with drugs. Massages have to be way better than any drug that anyone can take.)

(I wish every disgruntled, ill-mannered person who walked into our union office could first go off in a room and get one of those work type of chair massages before they even spoke to us.)

10. hahaha.. how about that!.... i managed to get my birthday AND my half marathon in one sentence just cause i love to talk about my accomplishments. (I can do that because it's MY BLOG! Though i thoroughly encourage everyone to come here and talk about how you have done something that makes you proud of yourself!)

11. Also because I am against false humility. The sin of pride is the least of my sins!

I can't pretend that i am not proud of being 56 years old and completing this race. (It's on Facebook but indulge me please to add it here to for history:)  I ran it in 1:58:46, which is an average pace time of 9:04 ending  in the top one third of all runners, including the men. (Something like 1256 runners completed the race.) It was my 4th time running it but i think my fastest time, or maybe my second fastest.

12. I found out that i can run hills since i trained for them this year, (thanks to my friend Karie who i ran with on Mondays). I loved passing people younger than i was.  And men too.... that was the best!

13. It's a long time to run and what's funny is i don't really even remember what i  thought about. Last year when i was training i worried it would be difficult without my iPod - which hadn't been invented when i ran my previous one. (Listening to music is totally frowned upon in a race so i didn't even consider it for long)... I thought i would get bored and it would be such a terrible drag. But i was never bored at all!  Even though i can't remember what i was thinking. (I do remember at one point doing math in my head about how fast i had to run the last few miles to break 2 hours.)

13. This must be why i like running a race like this. Maybe my brain is most at rest when my body is working hardest.

Ok, that's all i got. So what's is going on with all of y'all?


jojo cucina cucina said...

Speaking of #13 when iPods were not invented when i first started running the Sony walkman was not even invented! I used to run with a transistor radio that mostly played static. Then finally they invented that walkman. Mine was bright yellow and played cassettes because cds were not invented either! hahahaha... That's how old i am and how long i've been running. More than half my life.

susieatl said...

1. My mom grew up in Kansas during the 30s. She said that the Wizard of Oz had it completely right - EVERYONE had a root cellar and when the storm passed your house, barn and livestock might be gone but you would be alive. Since everyone who was flat broke in the 30s had a root cellar - why can't we have the same thing 80 years later? And why don't schools in the Midwest have them? I just don't get it. MY ex-MIL lives in an underground home for that reason. It's built into a side a hill and only only side has windows. Depressing as hell to me but I get it.

2. Don't talk to me about eyes. I found out I have Near Angle Glaucoma and am having lasers burn small holes in my eyes. Apparently, that will fix it. The good thing is that it prevented me from having my eyes dilated! I did get glasses because I got mono vision when I had my lasik and readers will correct one eye but not both. Now I can read a book for more than ten minutes. Yea me...

3. I read this morning that a kid from where I lived in Florida shot his penis. I thought that was funny for some perverse reason. So I shared it on Facebook. I will probably be reprimanded by the feel good people that I'm friends with..I may have to delete the friends. Not the post.

4. I'm proud of you Jo..I may never run marathons but I know the feeling when I finish my walk/run at 5Ks. It's a personal accomplishment. I'll never be first but I'm happy not to be last. of course if I said that on Facebook, one of my friends would tell me that I should just be grateful that I'm alive. (can you tell I'm a bit sick of these people).

5. I'm reading Dan Brown's new book. While it is definitely not as interesting as Da Vinci Code (I like puzzles) it does address overpopulation and resources. I have a great niece who is very politically active (which is way cool as she reminds me of my grandmother who was a very outspoken liberal even back in the depression and WWII) and she is protesting against Monsanto. She is also from a long line of Missouri farmers so understands what these corporations are forcing farmers to give up. On the other hand, I'm fascinated as my daughter who is about the same age is pro-GMOs as she comes from a different agricultural perspective and feels it is necessary to avoid worldwide famine. I'm kind of in the middle on the topic. I think we have a right to know what is in our food but I'm not against offering it. And I don't know if a farmer should be forced to use GMO produced seeds...

amulbunny's random thoughts said...

1. My SIL and family live in OK. They are in the process of relocating to OKC> in fact a house they were looking at in Moore. But it's all on hold. The house is gone, hell the whole neighborhood is gone. They are safe. That's what counts. They lost their power and her sons graduation was cancelled.

2. I've worn glasses since 3rd grade, had bifocals for the last 15. I wear blended lenses. My left eye is astigmatic and it makes opticians shudder when I order glasses. Ugh.

3. I'm also reading Dan Brown's new book. It makes me want to go to Florence and see all the magnificent art there. The science is interesting as well.

4. The first thing my daughter did on her Disney cruise was to spend $179 on a hot stone massage. She said she thought she was in heaven. Of course the whole cruise was a great time.

5. WE;ve been having swarms of earthquakes. Not big or anything, but a couple were noticeable jolts. Like the house got hit by a car, or someone picked up the house and dropped it. No damage.

5. May Grey and June Gloom awaits. I want some good steady sun, I've got my topsy turvy packed with tomato plants.

6. I've got some kind of crappy crap in my throat and I'm hacking but nothing comes of it. I've taken my allergy pills because every morning, TWC sends me an alert that says High Pollen Alert, Trees High, Grasses high.

7. 60 looms on the horizon. I'm kind of excited but at the same time I can't believe I'm going to be that old. But I am going to celebrate.

jojo cucina cucina said...

hey y'all. susie, i too wondered why the schools didn't have a shelter. Even if tornados hit while school was not in session it would seem like the place folks could congregate to during a warning if they had nowhere else to go. It should be a HUGE shelter.

Why do the athletes get everything they need in a stadium while the schools go without?

Never mind.

susieatl, you've been doing a lot of 5Ks. Maybe you want to consider a 10K down the road. Because if you could get comfortable running one more mile, then you should have no trouble finishing a 10K.

amulbunny.... OMG your parents were looking in that same neighborhood? Are they reconsidering relocating? How far away were they?

I have never had the hot stone massage but i've often wondered about it.

When is your 60th birthday? I'm thinking i don't mind the sound of it so much anymore. it used to seem so old because my parents seemed so old to me when THEY were 60. But i'm not like them. So i say bring it on.

I'm off to Cannon Beach for four nights tomorrow. We have an ocean view and a balcony, 800 thread count sheets on a king size tempur pedic bed and that espresso machine that Penelope Cruz pimps on TV. Gourmet breakfast brought to your room. Fires on the beach....only it is supposed to rain every day that we are there. Oh well. It's a beach view and the ocean is beautiful no matter what the weather. DVD library and gin rummy to play, wine to drink, books to read. It's been a hell of a month for both of us and we are so looking forward to doing nothing.

I especially love not having to cook or pack cooking stuff! Normally i like cooking but when this came up i realized how excited i was NOT to have to do that. We don't go on big expensive vacations to Hawaii or anywhere else ever and so i don't mind spending money close by in this case. Maybe i will even get another massage!!!! a hot stone one!