Friday, November 4, 2011
Everybody needs my advice!
RE: photo.... One morning during my summer vacation i woke up and Brian had made a happy face by the coffee pot using chopped nuts. So i took a photo. I love these things that my husband does. All the little post it notes, (i must have nearly a hundred of them saved up by now!), the cup of coffee he brings me every morning. It's the little stuff that counts so much. Probably my first advice would be to all husbands to pay attention to the little stuff.
I was reading Dear Abby the other day, i don't even know why i read her anymore, she should be ashamed of herself. That bitch has the easiest job in the world because she never tackles anything big in her column and her advice is so banal. (She and Mary Worth both need to die. Sorry louie.)
So this got me thinking about all the advice i wish i could give to people, if only they would ask. And i know y'all have some advice you want to give out too, so step right up and give it up!
Advice by jojo:
1. Barack Obama my advice to you is to get pissed off in a royal way every once in awhile for the shit you get blamed for that you know is not your shit. Take a freaking Anger Management classe... By that, I mean an Anger Management class that teaches you HOW TO GET ANGRY. (Americans love rage!...Example: The Occupy Movement...LOVE those folks! Take a hint.)
2. Facebook's founder Zuckerberg (is that his name?) needs to listen to me when i say he should limit the number of photos that anyone can post of their kid or grandkid. If you are on Facebook and you reach photo #25 of your grandchild, your Facebook account should be deleted, just like that, no warning.
3. He should do the same thing with people posting about any kind of illness too. He should put a default in there that if you post more than 8 times about an illness that he sends your computer a REAL virus .
4. I think Brad Pitt and Angelina should listen to me when i say to them, "just get the hell married. Then you will become boring to everyone, which is just what i think y'all want."
5. All of the Republican candidates running for President right now should just drop out. All of them. Every single one of them. And they should drop out all at the same time. Make a big announcement on Fox News, holding hands, standing side by side, to tell us they are not running. Here's what in it for them: By giving our country a rest from our Gone with The Wind-like presidential election campaign timeline maybe Republicans can win some kudos for that next go-round, not that i want them to. (If i were Republican right now i would be so embarrassed to have these people running. Herman is no more qualified than i am to run for president!)
6. At the risk of sounding like Suze Orman (who i actually really like) ...Save money. That goes for everyone. I don't care how little money you make. Save some of it. Quit thinking you need stuff that in your heart you know you don't really need.
7. If you are over 35 years old and wear bangs in a straight line across your forehead. Quit doing that.
8. Do not look in that 3-way mirrors at your backside when trying on clothes. Only look at the front.
9. If you wear perfume, be very careful how you wear it. Spray the air and walk into it. Like Audrey Hepburn. I can't believe how many women don't know this trick.
10. If you are shopping for furniture or any kind of thing that is a big decoration/remodel for your house, Don't go cheap. I have a Drexel Heritage sofa that cost me two months salary back in 1983. It is still holding up and because it's made so well I'm going to pay to recover it rather than replace it. When you see something you really like in the home department but worry about the price, don't worry too long, you won't be sorry in the long run. But still keep in mind #6.
Ok, i'm going to come back and give some more advice but i i'll do that so as to bump my comments. But come post yours! We all have great advice.