Thursday, March 25, 2010

It all started with a car crash. Adventures with jojo & louielouie & our friend Julie


I need to change this blog post but didn't have a lot of time, so i thought i would tell a story instead that i already had written out. It's a true story. (for the most part.)

Before i go on, let me explain the photos: this is not the same trip as the car crash trip because i didn't own my digital camera yet. And the black&white photo is from 1983. That is me and louielouie (on the right). We are at the union office (my job now, but not then) during a teacher strike. The rest are from Alderbrook Inn at Hood Canal: soup photo: louielouie used to be a home ec teacher and now is a voc-ed administrator and is a very good cook; puzzle photo: Julie (on the left & louielouie on the right); boat photo: scenery at Alderbrook; & the last one is julie and louie.
For about 10 years now louielouie, Julie and I take a trip somewhere in Washington or Oregon at least once a year just to hang out in our jammies, cook, drink good wine, watch DVDs, put puzzles together and talk.
louielouie, as y'all know posts here often & has been my friend since 1979. Our friend Julie (since the early 1990's, is an elementary music teacher - she used to teach Ms. Hippie!) doesn't post here, but says sometimes reads. (Maybe she will weigh in on this trip and clear up any misrepresentations.)

On these trips Julie usually drives and louielouie and I do the shopping and cooking. It's a nice trade because we all do what we're good at. This trip of which i am writing about was to Port Townsend and it started out with a car crash.

We were being picked up at my place and Julie was unusually late. (Usually it is louielouie who is late.... I, of course, being such an anal person, am always on time.)
Julie finally arrives, and because she hates being late is speeding around our condo circle up to my garage where we quickly loaded up our luggage. (And yeah, they make fun of my 400 thread count travelin' sheets that i always bring on trips in case i get a bed with flannels on them, but you should see how much THEY pack. Julie's hair products alone need their own suitcase!)

As Julie sped out backwards from my fairly long condo driveway she hit the steel post that protects the electrical transformers. And she hit her fairly new Honda Accord hard. So hard we didn't even want to get out and look at the backside until we made a pit stop. (It was pretty bad.) But Julie didn't let this little car crash deter her from having a good time and we did. (Port Townsend is a wonderful place!)

About a week later Julie gave louielouie and me a heads up that Rebecca, the insurance agent was going to call us. And she did. And we gave our account of the story of the car crash. And here are the email exchanges about how that went down, color coded for your convenience:

* * * * * * * * *

jojo's email:
Julie, here is what I told her ….
She asked what happened. I said that we had had an all night party celebrating your 2 month celibacy and had switched to bloody marys just before loading up the car to head out to Port Townsend where we could hopefully score some weed.
I told her that you were backing out of my driveway and that I was a little concerned because you were exceeding the speed limit and so I explained the reason for my concern and all that being because of how I used to be on the condo board, but now I am not, and so I didn’t have the same kind of ‘pull’ to get away with breaking rules such as speed limits and hanging political signs in my windows….anyway I digress…so I said that you hit this big pole which protects all the trees that used to be here only they have cut them down (two since I got off the board!) and I thought maybe you had even run over a little dog but I couldn’t be certain because I think it was still stuck to your tires and you refused to get out and look because you were pretty drunk on the bloody marys and couldn’t get your seat belt off.
I think the agent appreciated that I made a special note to point out that you DID have your seatbelt on. I thoughtfully added that you didn’t run over any old people, and if you had, well it would have been their fault anyway cause they NEVER watch where they are walking. She thanked me and said she was calling louielouie next. I hope louie's story and mine match so she doesn’t think we are drunks AND LIARS.
Oh yeah, and I told her my neck was hurting bad. And that I spilled hot coffee in my lap as a result of the crash and I was wearing my new $300 suede Armani jacket, which is just perfect for those Port Townsend beaches, only not so much when it is raining.
I hope I did okay and that you get your money soon so you can fix your bumper.
If not….i have some Obama bumper stickers.
Jojo's email:
That is a typo on the $300. I meant $900. As if you could buy anything Armani for so little money.
louielouie's email:
I want to apologize in advance for any rude or threatening calls you may get from Ron
.(louie’s husband, who is a doctor) He’s got this unnatural and unfounded fear of narcotics that I so don’t understand. I find that the Oxycontin and Vicodin help ease my pain somewhat and provide me with a little peace. I’m sure you understand.

I really didn’t mean for him to blame my “addiction” on the car accident you caused with your carelessness last week. I explained to him that you really were paying attention to the best of your ability and that excessive speed is a relative thing and that I didn’t blame you for my excruciating pain that can only be relieved by narcotics. Plus if Jo hadn’t been fumbling around under the seat for her battery-operated device while you were trying to drive you wouldn’t have been so distracted. How were any of us to know the condo board had installed those poles in our direct path earlier that same day?

Anyway, I don’t blame you in any way; as long as I can keep the supply coming. I may need your help with that down the road apiece or maybe Jo can hook me up with her contact there at the Brown Bear, I have no ill will against you. I’m just warning you meanwhile, don’t take any calls from Ron; he can be sooo unreasonable.

PS I won't mention any of this to Rebecca if you can help me out, if you know what I mean.

Julie's reply:
I hope Home Land Security is not monitoring us (due to the fact that we have signed up for the Democratic Party and Ron actually ran and I am a card carrying member of the ACLU and I send money annually to some womens fund in Afghanistan). Wait - there's a knock at the door . . . . louie's reply: Since when is Narcotic’s addiction an issue for homeland security? I would worry a whole lot more about your leftist leanings and the fact that you’re consorting with an undocumented international with questionable political intentions if I were you.
julie writes:
Dear "friends"
I want to thank you sooooo much for helping me out. Did you happen to mention that I probably did some serious damage to the pole and that it will cost the condo board at least 30 grand to replace/and/or fix it?

Sarah I am so sorry you are sleeping poorly because of the accident and that you can't feel anything in your fingers (or, apparently, in your cold cold heart). I'm sure you failed to mention that both were pre-existing conditions. Are they making the insurance check out to your husband who also just happens to be a physician? What a coincidence.

Also - there is the continued inquiry as to "other" witnesses. I'm sure Dorothy could help you out here, Jo. Or maybe you could say it was her oxygen tank I hit which caused a minor explosion, resulting in about 100 grand of damage.
Again - thank you both. I'm sure Rebecca will be happy that I chose Nationwide as my car insurance company.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Jon Stewart parodies Glenn Beck...BEST Daily show ever. Plus jojo's Census & live blogging about the historic health care vote!


Video: this was Jon Stewart's show I think on March 18. This is the best thing he's done since he took on Crossfire years ago. He is making a terrific dead-on point by doing ridiculous EXACTLY the way Glenn Beck does it. I always love Jon Stewart's impersonations because they are usually so bad they are good, but this one takes the cake. The original episode took more than half the show and you can probably view on the Daily Show website, but i could only find this one on YouTube. (This is a classic and i'll probably keep it on my DVR for a long time without erasing it. )

The Best Thing Today:
it was sunny and nearly 70 degrees! I was at my brother's house where they were having a garage sale today. What a great day to be outside. Easily the nicest day all year.

on iTunes right now: Brett Dennen with Missy Higgins singing Tom Petty's "Breakdown".

Books: I just bought Olive Kitteridge which won the Pulitzer Prize. So far i think i will love it so i am saving it for my trip.

Speaking of: i have to take my "practice" Xanax pill tomorrow to be sure it doesn't make me crazy. I have 5 pills from my doctor for the flight. Two down, two back, and one to practice. I plan on posting tomorrow under the Xanax influence. I was going to do it tonight but thought i should wait until Brian gets back from Eastern Washington in case something happens. (I don't do medication very well.)

What i keep forgetting: To check my Hertz rental car!

What i DID remember: to return my Census.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

1. I think i might be an elitist. Lakewood, where i live, is somewhat of what i call a 'lunchbox town" and it pretty much caters to military personnel. It has mostly franchise eateries, TONS of teriyaki places, sports bars, at least four bikini barista coffee huts, but NOT ONE wine bar. And even though it has many mini malls and one Towne Center (which has many vacant buildings), there is no place to buy a pair of decent nylons.

They also have a tavern here called The Schooner that's been here since the 1970's. And as i was driving buy it today it had two contests on their reader board:

Hot Legs Contest
Air Guitar Contest

and i thought to myself. I need to move.

2. I was trying to post a photo of our new Seattle Seahawk's back up quarterback, Charlie Whitehurst. OMG. he is so freaking cute. Like a more handsome version of Serpico. But i couldn't find a good one.

3. I used to LOVE Joe Namath back in the 70's which is when i loved to watch the NFL. I also thought Jim McMahon was a hoot in the 80's. And i think i've already mentioned here how i swooned over Roman Gabriel.

4. I once dated a quarterback when i lived in Zama Japan. His name was John Dumont. And he was so popular (and i was not), but his friend told me he liked me, so just like that, we were going steady. I was a freshman, and though he was a sophomore, he was the Varsity starting quarterback, which was super cool. I think we lasted about three weeks. (And for three weeks i got to be popular by association.) We hardly ever talked. We just walked to class together and he carried my books. He dumped me later for a vivacious cheerleader.

5. The reasons i can't join Facebook is because i think i would spend way way way too much time on it. Ironically, at work, we are moving towards that with our communications and i was the one leading the charge to move in that direction (after attending a social networking workshop). So i will have to probably join. But i might do it with a pseudonym. If i do, i'll let y'all know so we can all be friends!

6. Though i am not naturally a nostalgic person and i have no desire to look up high school friends, since i didn't have that many anyway (having gone to three high schools during my military bratdom) i could still see myself Facebooking for hours. And i don't want to do that. Blogging is hard enough.

7. I loved this last week's episode of Lost because it was about Sawyer. There has been no hotter cop since Michael Douglas in The Streets of San Francisco. How cool of the writers to make him a cop in Sideways Lost. I still don't know WTF is going on though really. I was not happy to see Bad Sayid sit like a Buddha while Kate nearly got killed by Claire, though i was secretly hoping Kate would be killed. But still, Sayid did not come to the rescue. That's not the Sayid we know and love and i'm sorry he is gone.

7. I turned in my Census today. It was no big deal. I thought they asked more stuff. But they really only want to know how many people live in your house. Anyway it got me thinking about my own Census and what i would ask.

So here are some questions for y'all for the jojo Census:

a) How many iPods do you own?
b) How many computers?
c) Do you have a TV in your kitchen?
d) Do you have a bottle of wine in your refrigerator right now?
e) Do you know what your blood pressure is?
f) Do you live in a house that has more than 1000 sq feet per person living in it?
g) If you do, do you have a maid?
h) Do you floss every day?
i) Who do you have a crush on right now? (can be a celebrity)
j) How many books do you own?
k) If you had to choose one all-time favorite television show of your lifetime so far, what would you choose?

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I am too stoopid to watch "Lost" & other random stuff


Latest iTunes purchase: Natalie Merchant does a great version of Neil Young's After the Gold Rush. Check it out. I also bought Lori McKenna's version of the Needle and the Damage Done.

Book: Honolulu by Alan Brennert. Ms. Hippie's mom recommended it. It's about a young Korean woman living in Hawaii in the early 1900's. Not my usual kind of book, but i really like it.

What i keep forgetting: to doublecheck that i actually do have a rental car ordered for our trip to Sedona.

What i remembered: My Xanax prescription for the air travel. It came in the mail a few days ago.

Video: I still love Casey James from my other blog post. This is my new favorite American Idol. Crystal Bowersox is the real deal. The rest of them are not even in her league. Having said that, i sort of hope she doesn't win, because she is too good for the Idol machine. In this video she sings Tracy Chapman's "Give Me One Reason". (Ms. Hippie/Kylee, I know you think I've been picking terrible husbands for you. So let me say this: if you were gay, i would want Crystal to be your wife!)

The Best Thing that happened recently: A few weeks ago I started tutoring
again. I work with Hippie/Kylee's mom's best friend's 3rd grade class in the poorest school in our district. I tutor math to three little girls.

I try to make it fun by changing up the math stories. For example If we are buying 8 books at $5 a piece, the books are about Justin Bieber. (When i first started doing this, it was during the Titanic times and i used Leonardo di Caprio.)

However, my first day didn't go well. One little girl would not pay attention and finally i told her nicely, but firmly, that i could take her back to class right then and there because i could always work with another kid if she didn't want to be there. I was shocked, when in reply she put her head down in her arms and started crying. "I will NEVER get this!".

She seemed to hate me that first day (and i wasn't sure i liked her either). I didn't expect her to want to come the next time, but there she was. And i was determined to make this work with her. I am now on my 4th week and i find that this little girl is the BEST of all of them at math and she actually works hard! And she WANTS to do well.

Last week i had to change days and they gave up their Fine Arts class to work with me. When i asked them what they do in Fine Arts, the little girl who had cried (who is named Princess) said they sang songs and drew pictures. I replied, 'oh wow, and you came here to do math instead of Fine Arts?" and she said, "I would rather be here with you."

I tell you what. I tutor only 3 kids and even though i try to make it fun i can feel myself getting frustrated with getting through to them because all 3 are on different levels of math and i don't want to leave the other two out. Princess can multiply by 12s! One girl can't even add 2+3 and doesn't even get the concept of what multiplication is and the other one understands multiplication but doesn't know the tables. How do teachers do it with 28 kids? How do they?

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

1. I have been watching Lost since Season 1 back in the day when they had a reasonable number of good looking characters whose names I could remember. This season reminds me of when i tried to read Shogun: i found myself taking notes on the characters names and their personalities from that book because i couldn't keep them straight and it felt like homework, so i quit reading.

2. I still love Hurley and Sawyer, and hate Kate (it's fitting that her names rhymes so easily with hate), and i want to slap Jack, just as i did in Season 1. But the plot is too much for me anymore and I, for one, will celebrate it's demise.

3. One of my favorite earlier Lost scenes is when Sayid (all tied up and held captive by The Others), manages to snap the neck, killing one of the Others with just his legs!

4. I have to admit that sometimes violence is sexy. Does that make me a bad person?

5. Anyway, i will watch til the end, but I think you have to be some kind of wonk-type personality to love it. And i am so not a wonk.

6. I recently watched Michael Jackson's DVD This is It. It was interesting watching how everyone pandered to him, even the director. I can't imagine that a lonelier man walked the earth than Michael Jackson. Can you imagine being around people all the time who are afraid of telling you the truth for fear that you might fire them?

7. Being President must be a little bit like being Michael Jackson. (Say what you will, but another reason i like Rahm Emanuel, because i don't think he panders to anyone.)

8. Over a month ago I found out i have very high blood pressure (170/110). I had no idea, because there are no symptoms, but had been told in the past year or two that i had high readings every once in awhile, only I laughed it off because for years and years i used to have super great readings and i worked out and was healthy and fit.

I'm pissed. I have been a committed runner for 30 years, 5 days a week. Never smoked, never did drugs. I am at a very good weight. And i'm in better shape than when i was in high school. I eat whole grains that i don't even like! I don't even salt my scrambled eggs!

9. I think i am going to start being bad. I'm going to eat only red meat. I am going to quit my job and lay around all day eating potato chips out of the bag while i watch the TLC channel. And i'm going to take up smoking and cocaine and start drinking Scotch in the early afternoon every day. i'm not going to ever exercise again.

10. In other words, i am going to start acting like my ex-husband who is probably in better health than i am. And i'll use all that money i save on running shoes and buy more cocaine.

So what are y'all up to these days? And what's on your menu?