Saturday, December 3, 2016

Just the Regular Random Stuff. Probably Draft #135.....

Like books, i start many blogs and then just end up quitting them. I should go back and count the drafts in my blogger history. Maybe even try and resurrect one. As usual i have no idea what i am going to write, but here is the mood. I am listening to Joan Baez Pandora and for some inexplicable reason, the Beach Boys showed up playing "Good Vibrations". I am drinking a really really good Italian wine i bought from Trader Joe's and the Christmas lights are making everything cozy, especially my cheesy Smart TV YouTube 4K HD streaming fireplace that sounds like such a real fireplace i keep having this expectant feeling that i need to stoke the fire!

Anyway, here we go.

1. I have never liked the Beach Boys. (I did like the movie about Brian Wilson though). I saw them in concert once because my ex wanted to go. And i thought Mike Love was a douchebag.  Rolling Stone recently had an article that affirmed that.

2. James Taylor just came on and that's more like it for Joan Baez but sometimes i don't like his voice. It's too whiney. I really don't care for his Christmas album that i bought a few years back.

3. My favorite Christmas song is The River by Joni Mitchell, which is not really a Christmas song.

4. I also like O come O come Emmanuel.

5. it is supposed to snow here Monday, but i will believe it when i see it. I am like an 8 year old hoping for a snow day when there is a forecast of snow! To me there is nothing more exciting with our weather than snow! I even get up in the middle of the night to see if it started. I do it every single time there is a threat of snow in the weather forecast.

6. Course i don't have to drive in it. and i never really did since i lived only two miles from home.

7. Jack Johnson is on now. I don't know what it is about that guy, but he doesn't move me with his music. And it's not bad, but i always feel like i want to fast forward. I( feel the same way about Dave Matthews.)

8. It took me over 5 hours to decorate my tree. My niece Kylee (who used to be a fabulous contributor to this blog) for years used to help me (since the age of 10, she is 25 or 26 now).  We  used to watch a movie afterwards. I made her watch Love Story with me once. when she was 15 cause it was MY favorite movie at that age.  We also watched Audrey Hepburn movies (because she loved them) and i think the last time we did this the movie was Annie Hall. We have not done this for two years now, because she lives further away and is married and busy working.  And now I understand how parents must feel when their kids grow up and move apart from the family. I miss this tradition with her. (Maybe Brady when he is older will want to help me. Or Lauren.)

9. For ummagumma, wherever she may be.

9. Something i hate: People who end comments or emails with "just sayin'". it is such a f*cking passive aggressive statement, as if they are being helpful. I also can't stand the dismissive "Whatever". And most times "just kidding" at the end of a sentence means just the opposite.

10. Dammit, just because i said that about Jack Johnson in #7 another stupid song of his comes on. I am playing Joan Baez radio and think i have only heard two songs by her in the last two hours.

11. Oh dear, i have a feeling that this is going to be Draft #136 because The Wedding Song just came on and this reminds me of my first wedding in 1978. I also had that horrible Debbie Boone song You Light Up My Life too. (Such a big hit that year. Such a sucky song. Such a lie.)

12. Obviously I have to change this Pandora channel,  but i'm waiting until i need to refill my wine glass.

13. Who is still reading here? pearl didn't stop by last post even with my shout out. amulbunny i always like seeing you here and thank you. My BFF louielouie quit coming. Equeyaya too. Bethany hasn't changed her own blog since June. And Amanda is pretty busy with her fabulous little boy. I really do sometimes wish Facebook was never invented.

14. The #1 reason i wish FB wasn't invented is all the sharing of the fucking fake news during this election. What an avenue for that shit! Facebook: The Highway to Sharing Shit Because Facts No Longer Matter. I really do kind of want to quit Facebook just over this. It was not hard for me to be gone. But i miss people on there. And since folks no longer email and call or blog anymore there is no way to keep in touch with folks i want to keep in touch with without it. So i just wish it went dark (like Gumbo YaYa, a message board i posted on for 10 years about the Rebecca Wells books) then we would have to find a different way to connect. Maybe blogging again!

I am just gonna hit Publish and be done with it! Besides i have to go stoke the fire.

Oh yeah, that's right. It's fake.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Draft #3... My Self Imposed Facebook Exile; Giving Thanks; etc.

Photo of bumper sticker that i have on my refrigerator 
I have started three drafts now in as many days and decided i cannot do this without a glass of wine. I have a harder time thinking about what to write with coffee than i do wine.

This draft might make it. Let me put some music on too.......Ok, that's better i'm streaming David Grohl's You Tube acoustic playing. Right now it's Learning to Fly. (David Grohl has to be the coolest guy on the planet. Seriously, can you think of a cooler guy?)

Let me just go ahead and number this and let her rip:

1. It has been two weeks today since The Last Election Before the Apocalypse. I deactivated my Facebook account over a week ago with the idea i would return after a week, but i am actually not missing it too much just yet. I may wait another week.

2. Because i have friended lots of union folks from my old job and many educators,  therefore my newsfeed pretty much exploded with the election. It's nice to have like-minded friends but they kept feeding Facebook with stories that were getting me all upset again (when he started picking his team)....JUST as i was calming down. (The shared stories were also getting redundant.) So i figured a break would be a good thing. But i'll be back. I miss too many people who don't email or blog anymore. (Plus I don't forget that FB has served me well by giving me a home base where my friends are able to educate me about many things, such as my trip to Italy.)

3. But yeah, i do sort of want to blame FB for paving the way for the fake news shit that was bandied about. People are getting worse and worse about not caring about facts and don't read beyond the headline. We have become a culture of getting our news from memes and tweets.  (pearl if you are reading i loved that article you put up that made that point ... it had a headline (paraphrasing) Bernie Sanders Can Be President Through a Little Known Loophole.

What's been making me feel a little better these days? I am wearing my Obama t-shirts since i can't wear my Hillary one that i just bought, (though i still have her bumper sticker on my front door).

4. One meme i did like was the one that said (and again I am paraphrasing) ...  "Forget about putting the Christ back in Christmas. Let's put Christ back in CHRISTIAN! "  A lot of folks who call themselves Christian supported Trump for reasons other than just normally voting a Republican ticket - i am talking about he ones that came out of their scurvy hidey hole to vote because they ARE racist. Jesus would NEVER EVER have voted for Trump. (Not saying he would vote for Hillary either, but i know He wouldn't vote for Trump and i'm not all that Christian but that is a faith i do have.)

What i can't wrap my head around is that more white WOMEN voted for Trump than Hillary. What the fucking fuck? 

5. The BEST meme about the election, in my opinion is,  (again I am paraphrasing since i can't check on FB to see).... "Not all Trump supporters are racist and misogynists, but what you are saying when you vote for him is that it's not a deal breaker."

6. This got me thinking about deal breakers if i were dating again. (This could be a whole blog separate blog post!) I am going to say my deal breakers are:

  • doing drugs (not including pot, but they can't smoke it often if they do)
  • smoking
  • being right wing or voting for Trump
  • being a born again Christian type who is always preaching about Jesus 
  • not having a source of income or a retirement future
  • not appreciating good music or books

7. Thankfully my husband fits this ticket!

My nephew took this photo of Brady last week. I love it so much! I had to Photoshop out my niece Kendall  because her face was hidden. But it makes a better photo. with just Brady. 

8. Now for my Thanksgiving Stuff:  

I've said it before: I am thankful for all of my nieces and nephews in my life and THEIR kids who have made it so easy for me to be childless and not regretful of my choice. (Brady's 4 month old sister Lauren is such a happy laughing baby like Brady was, she's cute with red hair too but when she gets a wee bit cuter i will put up a photo. ) I thought it would be so difficult babysitting two at a time, but so far the last three times have been great! 

9. I am thankful that we live in a country where we can protest the outcome of an election. I just wish those fucking anarchists would go back to their hovel. No one who didn't vote should be allowed to protest. I would make that rule ... hahaha.

10. I am thankful that we live in the Pacific Northwest! Where the weather is fairly mild and my politics match. I even like the rain. It goes along with my homebody personality.

11. I am thankful that we get to rent our friend Rita Cressman's new place on Vashon for four days starting Christmas day. It has a full 180 degree view of the Puget Sound, Mt. Rainier and the ferry going back and forth 12 times a day. What a great way to top off the holiday! 

12. I am thankful once again for a year where everyone i love and care about, family and friends, are alive and doing well, with the exception of Brian's mom who i am worried about. We just moved her in assisted living and right now she is in a nursing home in rehab because she fell only after being there for three days. It's been hard on the family watching her go downhill. She's a sweet amazing lady and i will miss her more than my own mom when she is not around. 

I could go on, but i gotta go pack for our trip over the mountain pass to Brian's sister's house for Thanksgiving tomorrow morning. It's a five hour drive which i ALWAYS hate. I might bring my leftover Xanax! hahaha. 

13. I am thankful for Xanax!  I wish it was a vitamin! I only take it when i'm traveling on an airplane. It almost makes me want to take MORE trips!...just for the Xanax Experience.

Happy Thanksgiving all!  Thanks for reading. 

Saturday, November 12, 2016

The Walking Numb & No GPS Coordinate for the High Road

It is still hard for me to believe that our country elected Donald Trump. How did we elect a candidate that the KKK endorsed? And you don't need me to list all the rest of the deplorable things he has done because we know them too well and are not likely to forget even if you are reading this blog 4 years from now. (OH! I do like that word 'deplorable').

I have read many articles linked on Facebook that try to give reasons for this and i do believe there is blame to go around everywhere, including with the Democrats. But most of all is the astonishing fact that so many people did not vote.

I am not subscribing to the 'love trumps hate' and l'et's all try to get along and be nice'. Now we are asked to support our President (SHIT, their side in the Senate and House never tried to do that why are we supposed to?) He's bringing in some horrible people, starting with those sons of his who look like serial killers who be starring in American Psycho instead of Christian Bale. Nice doesn't ever seem to get us anywhere. Trump tapped into the anger in this country, and to a different degree, so did Bernie Sanders. Hillary was always so careful and measured. But as a woman she wouldn't be able to get away with it in the same way. Look what happens when Elizabeth Warren gets fierce. I feel like we need to get tougher.  Fierce. Feisty. Taking no shit. Standing up for what is right and not trying to have it all ways to seemingly please everyone. I did not support Bernie Sanders as the nominee though i did like him. (I had trouble with his pie in the sky ideas, especially about free college tuition for all.) But i had wished Bernie Sanders was chosen as her running mate instead of Tim Kaine.

I do sort of get why people get pissed off at liberals and the elite label that comes with being liberal. Too often we are so busy trying to be the smartest person in the room. Correcting people, going off on extreme environmental issues, making fun of Walmart and its shoppers, etc. etc. I am guilty too. (Though i have NEVER been the smartest person in the room unless I am babysitting.)

Political correctness does go too far. I think i wrote here somewhere about the Pacific Lutheran University billboards "Words Can Hurt". from a few years ago  I liked them at first: 'ghetto', 'homo', 'illegal'. But then came 'exotic' and 'what are you?' and that gave me pause. Maybe i need to ask my niece Jessica who is part black and how this makes her feel.  Is it really so bad to want to know the heritage of someone you know or just met? Jessica could pass for Native American and Hispanic. And she does look 'exotic'. (Which i always thought was a nice word. ) People get jumped on often for the slightest words, when they mean no malice. And then what was okay before is no longer okay today.  So yeah, maybe the folks who can't stand this about we liberals are fed up and want us to shut up. And they shut us up didn't they? By voting.

I also believe Van Jones was correct about the 'white-lash'....that the vote for Trump is a backlash for Black Lives Matter movement and the misunderstanding of what that was. And of course, it's about the Supreme Court.

And certainly that FBI fucker didn't help. And Hillary made the mistake Kerry did when he was Swiftboated. She should have come out swinging. While i admire her ability to keep it together there is a part of me that wanted to see a glimpse of the real Hillary behind the scenes.

Facebook hurt too. Folks are so quick to vote by headlines and memes and believe the outright lies that are a part of them. (I think it was Bill Maher that said Americans will spend more time researching on Yelp on where to find the perfect taco than they do voting their ballot. )

I am sad. I am as sad as anyone. But i have to say this too: I am tired already of the handwringing, obsession and crying (sobbing even!) about the outcome. Right now i don't even want to read more horrible news about what Trump is going to do or not do. (I don't need one more reason to be afraid or sad! )

I was very lazy with this election, (the laziest since before Al Gore). But we live in a blue state and i our state did indeed vote that way without my help as i expected they would. And i am so burned out on local politics because it was a huge part of my job and when i retired i wanted to be retired from some of that stuff i used to have to do.

But there are many folks who spend hours and hours who have been pissed off all year long, posting about how horrible Trump is. And many live in states that are not blue, where maybe they could have made a difference if they got off their ass off Facebook and showed up to Hillary headquarters. I don't know what to do except right now write a check to NARAL and Planned Parenthood, which i did this morning.

I have no answers or ideas on how to bridge the divide between us. I am afraid of what a Trump presidency is going to do because Making America Great Again is a scary mission statement. Keeping America Great i can subscribe to. But that word 'Again" i fear is about taking us back in time where it sucked for so many, except for white men. In the past years we have made such great strides in being more inclusive of more Americans who were so discriminated against. What happens now?

Sunday, October 30, 2016

This is not going to be a political post.

OK, i lied. Just like a politician does. But not too many are reading here anyway so i can lie all i want on my own blog! Right? 

I bought this abstract Hillary Clinton shirt, so i don't get in any fights
I have to write something about this unprecedented, crazy, voodoo, zombie, Presidential election. I am almost 60 years old and have been voting faithfully in every election since Jimmy Carter (even in the primaries!)  but there will never be an election like this one. It is one for the history books. I envision someone writing a Broadway musical about this election. (The idea for song titles can be a whole different post though some of it might have to be rated R! )

I have always loved Presidential politics more than local politics - mainly because i was directed by work on what had to be done locally. But this election is getting too much...even for me.

Of course, i am voting for Hillary. I don't love Hillary like i did Obama. When Obama first ran i bought an Obama t-shirt at Cafe Press BEFORE he even announced he was running.  I once added up that i spent nearly $1000 contributing to his first campaign (aside from donations, including giving money for Kylee's admission to see him in person, t-shirts etc.)

With Hillary i only donated $50 and bought a $50 t-shirt with a Diane Von Furstenburg design that is so abstract you have to look really close to even notice it's a Hillary t-shirt. (I do not wish to get into it with anti-Hillary folks. ) This 2016 election might be the cheapest election for me since before Al Gore. I am also the laziest since then. I haven't done one thing to volunteer, even as i have lots more time than i used to (though i am working at my old job again until the election is over.)

People can say what they want about her but that woman is f*&king tougher than any man who ever ran for President in my lifetime. She's been attacked since 1992 and she is still standing. i like that quality in a President.  She deflects nasty ass shit pretty well.... instead of Tr#@mp who can't even stand one little criticism without needing vindication. Good Lord, can you imagine if Obama had done even one-tenth of the crap he has done? For starters ...the juvenile tweeting.

Any one of us under the same kind of scrutiny that Hillary has been under for 30 years would have cracked i believe.Which brings me to part of the reason i don't love about her. I am tired of the Clintons. I wish we had somebody new (like we did when Obama ran) though I don't know who that is. And i have to wonder what kind of person wants to be President soooo badly that they are willing to have themselves beat up every day for so long.

Having said that, I think she IS going to be a good president. I really do. What I am not ready for is the backlash when she wins. And i have no doubt that she is going to win and win YUUUUGE! And I am also not ready for her first four years in office with more Congress gridlock, probably worse than Obama years. I might be posting A LOT of music videos on Facebook to keep sane (which i have been doing in lieu of wanting to rant about the election, which is fruitless at this point.) 

We will be watching election night in the safety of our home. Yes i said 'safety'. Honestly the way things are going and what i read from Tr#%mp supporters on social media makes me more afraid of them (when he loses) than any terrorist.

11 Ways: 
 I Am More Afraid of  Tr*#p supporters Than i Am Of...

 1. Seeing a bear while fly fishing.
 2. Cougars too.
 3. Logging on to my bank account and finding someone cleaned it out.
 4. My mom coming to live with me.
 5. Hearing a knock on my door at 1:00 a.m.
 6. Having the phone ring at 3:00 a.m.
 7. Clowns coming out of the woods while I am out running alone.
 8. Losing my eyesight.
 9. Driving I-5 North.
10. My iPod breaking.
11. Having absolutely nothing to read.

Friday, September 30, 2016

Friday Happy Hour Posting!

My great nephew Brady and great niece Kendall 

I just poured a glass of Bogel Essential Red and i'm listening to the new Van Morrison cd, "Keep Me Singing".  Don't really have any ideas about what to write and this may end up in my Draft file along with many others but i'll see what happens. "Going Down to Bangor" is my favorite song on it so far!

1. What's going on: I'm back working at my old job for the past few weeks because of the election. This is my 5th working gig since i retired 2-1/2 years ago. I will probably be done Nov. 8. It's been fun being there. I am working part-time. Because i always tell myself i won't put the money in savings i am going to buy a new iPad Pro the small one like my Air. AND i am designing more furniture to be custom made - this time an end table for my living room and maybe a coffee table.

2. I bought a Hillary t-shirt and i donated $50 to her campaign after watching her at the debate. Didn't expect i would want to do that, but this is history and i have t-shirts from other presidential elections and don't want to miss out. I think she did a great job against the other guy. I just wish people gave her a break. For me she's one tough cookie. I don't need to love her or want to meet her for chardonnay or have her join my book club, but i can trust her to lead our country. And i do admire her ability to stand strong in the face of so much shit thrown at her. I feel sometimes people just hate her because the media sort of drives that message. Kind of like how they painted Jimmy Carter and George HW Bush as weak. I don't love her. But i've had bosses in my life i haven't loved either but who did a good job and i can respect that.

3. I also bought my little baby niece (Brady's red-headed sister) Lauren a long sleeve Hillary onesie. (Her parents were in full approval of me doing this.) I check these days because i bought cute little t-shirt that said Baby's First President  with Obama's sun logo for a baby nephew on Brian's side of the family years ago and the mom (who is a public school teacher and who i assumed, incorrectly, was a Democrat)  didn't like it and gave it back.

4. Here is photo of my  little niece Kendall and little nephew Brady who are best friends (partly because my nephews - their dads are). Disclaimer: she already ate her popsicle - that scowl -  is because we told her not to pick the geraniums. (We did it nicely but apparently she doesn't like being told what not to do! It's a Louvrak  thing- Louvrak is my maiden name!)

Kendall is my sister's granddaughter. Brady is my brother Troy's grandson. Look how different they look! I believe this generation of kids is going to be the generation who will make better strides with eradicating racism (and also with gay and transgender people) because of the blended ethnicities in families and as more younger people are out about their sexual orientation. This is such a good thing
I have high hopes for this generation. America is already great. (Fuck you T****!)

5. YES! I make the Republican Candidate (who shall go unnamed here) as the cuss word that needs the asterisks and the fuck word gets spelled out!

6. This Bogel Essential Red is really good! I can't remember what i paid for it but it can't be more than $12. I am making note of it by highlighting it a different color!

7. I like Rachel Maddow but her staccato way of talking kind of makes me crazy.

8. If i am being honest, i get most of my news from Facebook these days (though i still have the paper delivered and read that too) but i don't get it from the cable network 24 hour news channels.  However, if something really bad happens, (for example the New Jersey train crash) CNN is where i will look first on TV, even as i don't like CNN and always loved when Jon Stewart skewered them.

9. I do like Anderson Cooper still though.

10. I watched the Netflix documentary about Amanda Knox. I didn't feel strongly about her one way or another. I didn't like her but i didn't dislike her either. She was young and kind of a punk, but the older Amanda who served four years in prison might be someone i could like better. Either way it was interesting and in the end i think she was innocent. I also believe the Italian prosecutor was an an asshat who loved the media attention.

11. I also watched the JonBenet Ramsey two part series. I believed during the time it happened and said that i thought the brother did it. And this series implies it too. The mom and dad always seemed guilty of something and i believe they were covering for their son and reputation in the community. The interview they show in the documentary with the brother shortly after the murder is really chilling. I did really liked that bald retired FBI guy. But like my nephew Brian says, if that brother didn't do it, what a horrible thing for him that this documentary came out. I agree, but in truth, i think he did it.

12. Back to the debate for a second:  i thought Lester Holt was a namby pamby with the debate. Who was that one woman, the one with the long blonde hair who moderated the VP debates between Biden and Ryan? She was good. Get her! Or Jon Stewart! Or like the meme on FB says, Samuel L. Jackson.

Oops, just noticed how long this has gotten, so i'm signing off.

Notes to Self: 
Sunset: 6:50 pm
Best thing that happened this week: Oddly enough, going to work at my old job!
Latest book: "Home" by Harlan Coben, but it's a weak book, that dude has lost it , in the same way that John Grisham, Jodi Picoult and that James Patterson guy.... and i don't think i will finish.
Stupid thing that bugs me: This is really stupid when you think about what people are dealing with: My hair. I quit cutting it. I saw Grace and Frankie and decided i'm going to go Lily Tomlin with my hair because i can't stand how it looks short. At least long i can pull it back. But it's a lot of hair and hard to manage no matter what.
What I'm looking forward to: My husband has to go to Walla Walla (WINE COUNTRY) for work and i'm going with him to hang out while he goes to do whatever work thing he has to do. Guess where i will be?
Word Count: I don't give a shit. I WAS trying to keep it under 500 words cause people don't like reading too much, but that was when more people were here. So if you are reading this far! Thank you! ;)

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

3 Things I'm Good At; 3 Things I'm Bad At...and a really good book i read.

I just finished this book yesterday. And I read it probably for three hours, maybe more because it was due at the library today. I am still thinking about it. It deals with friendship, forgiveness, self-abuse like cutting (never explained to me before in such a way), suicidal thoughts, love, addiction, and characters who are gay or are struggling with sexual issues. It's a bit much and not for everyone but it's a book i will think about and not often do i finish a book crying. I can't really recommend it to people because it's a hard book to read. But I called my brother Troy because he is the only one i think will feel the same way about it as i do. Troy has had so much loss in his life (his son committed suicide this month 7 years ago) that i think it helps me understand how he is able to put one foot in front of the other in the manner that he does. It is also a great story about friendship.

In this book one of the characters asks the brilliant, but fragile character to tell him three things that he is better at than anyone else. The character cannot come up with an answer, so the asker of the question says 'how about three things that you do well?' And i thought that would be a good question for this blog. So if you are here and posting. What are three things you do well?.... let's say....better than maybe the average person.

Here are mine:
Three Things i Am Good At: 
#1. I am very good at goal setting and deadlines. It's why i am still running 36 years after i made a resolution on New Years 1980 and i've kept that commitment for all this time, and except for a few illnesses, i've never given it up. I also set a goal (back when i was around 35 or 38 when the age 60 seemed old) that i would keep it up until i was 60. And here i am, still able to run a 10K at any time i need to, though not as fast as i might wish. But the kicker is...i have never really liked running. I live for my days off. (This is not news for anyone who knows me well.) Also i can't think of a time when i didn't meet a deadline at work. I love knowing when something is due. It's also why i read that library book for 3+ hours yesterday, because it was due today.

#2. I am very good at saying NO to things i really really don't want to do. Not that i don't sometimes do stuff i don't want to, but i'm pretty up front about what i will and will not do. It kept me sane at the union office career that i had.


hmmmm. i am having some trouble coming up with a third one.

#3. OH, i got it! I stand up when i see something that feels wrong. And i try to rally others around it. It is why i got in union work in the first place. Some people may think i am wrong when i do it, but i feel strongly about it. I know people who feel the same way who would never stand up and would be so willing to let others do that, and still won't even say 'yeah, i agree' out of fear. I am thinking about my work in the union office. But recently even with condo board (again) about stuff going on around here.

SOOOO, this brings me to the Three Things I Am Bad At. And i think I can say: SEE ABOVE. My strengths are my weaknesses!

#1. Because i am a person who meets deadlines, who likes goals and is mostly always on time, i am not very tolerant of those who are not like this. At my job when people failed to do theirs and made more work for me I would be so mad. And because of my #2 and my #3, that can cause tension. I have never been a boss or supervisor and i am really not happy when people in those positions do not lead or are fearful of confrontation or need to be so liked too much.

#2. I am not likely to make the first move (with an apology) if i get in an altercation with someone. Luckily my husband and i don't fight much and never to the point that we go even an hour without talking because we are mad, but i have to admit he is probably the one who breaks the ice. And he usually does it in a very funny way. I am that way with most people when something comes up. I am sometimes a little bit afraid of how easily i can walk away. Maybe it is the military brat in me that had to give up friends every 2 or 3 years in school. Maybe it's the two divorces, but when things no longer feel like a fit, it feels easier to let it go.

#3. I am so terrible with retention. If i had a SuperPower, it would be to retain absolutely everything I have ever read. I feel strongly about so many things but i can never remember what i read to back up my positions on  politics, how i feel about movies and books (because i can't remember plots after a few weeks)! I remember i had this problem in school too which is why i learned to take copious notes and use memory games and tricks to get me through school. It's also why i love research so much. I almost paralyze myself with the research i do about so many things i buy, including even a simple thing as a sound bar for our TV or a fan! (Have to admit i did very well on the fan, while Brian didn't do so well on the sound bar because he didn't research!) Anyway, i could never be on a debate team.

OK, so if you are the few folks reading, what are your three good things and three bad things?

Also, here are three things in the news y'all might want to talk about too (aside from anything Trump or Hillary):

Colin Kaepernick.  - So he doesn't want to stand up for the National Anthem and the flag and it seems like every conservative person in the world is in an uproar about this , even as it is his constitutional right. and yet the same people, i swear it is the same people, don't give a shit  at all about all the blatant racist crap going around which is unconstitutional, ignoring the justice for all and everyone created equal. I don't like Colin, but i support his stand. I am a little bit worried though about the wackos at the football games who might do something. But i get it, if you stand for something(or in this case un-stand) then you do it all the time.  This is the reason i sort of understand people (though don't agree with it) about people who say no abortion even if in the case of rape or if the baby has Zika virus. If you are against abortion, then be against it all the way. (AGAIN, not saying i agree.)

Facebook's New Trending News Sucks - dammit, they are now hooking us with only the bare minimum on Facebook about what is trending. For example right now as i post it says : Sarasota, Florida 34K people talking about this ; Alicia Keys - 160K people talking about this; Twins First Day of School 39K people talking about this. It used to tell you WHY!!! So i think oh lord, so many people talking about Alicia , did she die? And i find out she didn't wear makeup to the VMA awards. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Then i click on Sarasota thinking maybe a hurricane, but it's about a woman who stole money - $85,000 from the Girl Scouts. And i am not EVEN going to click on the twins one now. Unless this is cute news about my nephew Brady's twins or Sarah's grandbaby twins i don't want to know.

Ryan Lochte - I bet he is glad that Kaepernick did what he did. Enough said. I'm sick of hearing about that guy, but i gotta put it here for history. What a douchebag Ryan Lochte is.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

I'm still here.

Brian and me, unplugged at Chevy Chase Beach Cabins July 2016
Wow, it's been almost two months since i last wrote on this blog. Funny how i gave up doing so many things i never had time for when i was working now that i have time for them. I am going to try and get through this whole blog post without making any political references. Let's see if i can do it.

I don't want to leave this blog entirely so i'm just going to start numbering and writing and see what comes out of me, like a speedwriting exercise. and if i don't like it i will just save it as a draft instead. (I actually have done that quite often.)

1. Recently i couldn't help myself and took some of those stupid tests going around Facebook. I found out i am only 20% Hippie; I have a 22,000 word vocabulary, (which doesn't sound like enough words to me, given that Sarah's mom who is i think 88 or 96 years old (I get her age mixed up with my friend Dick's mom because they are both so sharp) tested at 33,000, though to be fair, she is a really smart person, but at 88 or 96 years old you would think she might forget a few words); i thought i would pass the Pulp Fiction movie test but i got 6 out of 30 wrong. I think i am remembering that correctly, or maybe that was the M*A*S*H TV test. And though it was not a test i found out i am a "social introvert" because i hit every single one of those criteria!

2. I don't even attempt those geography or history tests on FB.

3. Recently my husband and i went on a vacation and for four days unplugged even though the place had wireless. I was amazed at how easy it was. Brian would check his phone once in the morning and i would check mine before bed, ONLY to make sure there were no emergencies. It was GREAT!!!! I didn't miss Facebook or email or texting at all. We played more Scrabble and cards than normally because of it. There was no cable either so we didn't watch news. I am going to try that every time we go away. I highly recommend it.

4. I don't think i am an addictive personality but i believe because i am slightly OCD and like all things familiar and therefore i tend to settle most comfortably into habits. And i lam finding that it's a good thing to mix those habits up. Like running a different route while exercising; not always pouring  a glass of wine while cooking or blogging - make hot tea instead;  not rummaging around for a cracker or snack the minute i walk in the door; shutting down the iPad for Facebook and email.  Also I have started leaving my phone at home when i run quick errands and today i put it in the trunk of my car when i was gone most of the day and never checked it. (The phone is the easiest habit since i've not had a phone that long anyway.)  It's been liberating to know that i can do this.

5. Hahaha.. Though i am NOT having hot tea right now!

6. Today i noticed that our row of maple trees was starting to turn colors. AND it is pitch black outside and only 9:14 as i type and that always makes me a little bit sad when i realize that autumn is on its way.

7. The upside is that our Seahawks play soon!

OK. I got nothing really. Just gonna hit send and let it go. Retirement is fun, but it has made me less creative i am afraid! ;)

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Like Gumbo YaYa.....A Totally Random Wine Musings Post

I have no idea what i am going to say and will just let her rip, like i did in the old days back when Gumbo YaYa was running hot!

1. First on the list: let's talk about Brock (Turner) the Rapist. I love so much that this story is getting traction. And because of that traction i think i have a better appreciation for Facebook. There was no real justice for Brock's victim ....but the posts on Facebook have leveled the field and i read every word of her letter. It was powerful. Like i said on Facebook, this case could be the one that finally puts the spotlight on rape and women's rights. AND not only that, the discrepancy about how white men are charged and sentenced and African American men are charged. I have never been raped. But someone close to me has been this kind of victim:where she thought she was so drunk it was her fault for going with the guy in the first place, so she didn't report it.

2. Hillary and Bernie: I actually surprise myself that i am not all over the Bernie Bandwagon, because i was so into Howard Dean and the anti-Iraq war movement. But my thing with Bernie is i don't buy into idealism. Bernie feels like the grandparent who promised you on your 4th birthday to take you to Disneyland when you got a little bit older, and they never did. And you remembered when you turned 9. I like having a president who is qualified and who knows how to stand the fuck up when the hits keep coming. And that is Hillary. She may be the toughest candidate to ever run for President when you think about it.

3. And i don't buy into Bernie's free college for all. First off...not everyone needs to go to college. And too many will go and fuck around because it's free. And then what happens to our military if everyone is going to college? (Actually, that might be a good thing, now that i think about it, because we can't declare wars without a strong military)   I never had the chance to go to college though i had very good grades all through high school. And as a pragmatic personality, i like starting big things small. I think Bernie should start with free community college for any high school student who has the grades before he declares free college for all.

 4. Grace and Frankie! I love this Netflix series with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin! I wish there were more episodes to binge watch. I think i sailed through them in about four mornings. Jane Fonda looks amazing. And Lily Tomlin looks great too. She has inspired me to just let my hair just do the fuck what it wants to do.  I cancelled my haircut appointment after watching and decided to just let it grow like Lily's and pull it back. I will still color it for awhile because it's such a sickly dishwater gray, but i already know i'm not ready for the work of cutting it short and trying to make it not look like the gal on Murder She Wrote because it's so curly and frizzy when short.

5. I told a lie. I wrote on Facebook that inferred that i turned 60 years old. I didn't exactly come out and say that i was 60, but i made it sound like that....because i am trying it on for size. Turning 50 wasn't that bad because i am still middle age. But 60 is different. I am older than the age my mom was when Brian and i first got together in 1992 and my mom was old! Yet she was only 57 years old. I am starting to not like how i look and how i feel when i wake up. But i know it's not terrible. After all i can still run a 10K if i want to. So that's something. But there is not doubt. This is the beginning of old age. I don't like beginnings. I think i will like the middle better!

6. When i turned 40 i cut off all of my hair and bought a one piece bathing suit, which was really stupid when i look back on it, because i actually was probably in my best physical shape at the time. And everything was firm and not lost to gravity. And i had a libido. And i didn't hurt when i woke up in the morning. And i didn't worry about being on top! hahahha... That's sort of why i want to grow my hair out like Lily's. Don't want to make that mistake again. But i am aware.

7. Family. I do not know where i would be without my brothers and their kids. My niece Kylee gets married a week from Saturday. My favorite nephew Brian's daughter will be born in July (we jokingly refer to her as Clementine now because i texted the name to Brian as a joke and he loved it, though his wife , Adrienne, understandably did not) and i love his little boy Brady so much already. (The grandkids i always wanted without having kids myself.)  My brother Troy just got a great job that took two months of hoops to jump through, with Garrette Construction. My niece Ashley and her husband (who my husband Brian who officiated their marriage ceremony last August) are such a great couple who i truly believe will be married for life are in touch often. My parents are both stlll kicking though i worry for how long. Brian's mom is a special lady too and i worry though about her the most. But all in all. This is a good time for family. Weddings and babies.

8. Retirement. I didn't think i would love it this much. I keep thinking i can probably go off of my blood pressure medication now. I am as busy as i want to be and sometimes busier. Still not bored at all.

Friday, April 22, 2016

Totally Random, Unscripted, Unedited, Winging it Blog Post

I don't even know where to start. And it's not because I have anything worthwhile to say, because I hardly ever do. But I am not ready to give up blogging. I don't care if people do it or not. I'm going to still write when I get the urge the just write stupid shit about everyday life. It's a Friday night and my husband is over the mountains to see his mom. My brother Troy is in the other room taking an online test on my desktop for a final phase in his job hunting. It's sort of an IQ test. He doesn't want my help. Hahaha! So I just poured a glass of wine and am waiting for him to finish so we can eat dinner I have in the oven.

I have no idea what I want to write about but I'll just start numbering and see what happens.

1. Record breaking temperatures in our area. Oh my, it was 87 degrees last Monday! For three days in a row we had hot summer temperatures and no rain. It was wonderful. I got me inspired to do that horrible job of switching out the winter clothes for summer. I hate doing that and it takes so much longer than you think. And why do I have about 47 tank tops? I don't even look good in them anymore. I swear I used to be so vain about my arms, which back in the day rivaled Michelle Obama's. Really, should find a photo and put it up later to prove it. I could have beaten her arm wrestling. But now they are starting the get that crepe-y look and a little bit of wiggle, even though I am still doing my 8 lb free weights every few days.

2. Just started a new YMCA schedule again after giving up yoga back in September because it was too stressful for me, what with the people showing up late, old ladies who couldn't stand any deviation from the routine and even requesting more lights be turned on and the final straw for me was that chick who came in 5 minutes late, grabbed a YMCA mat and proceeded to scrub it down with some kind of scouring pad that sounded like fingernails on the chalkboard. The instructor said not a word and THAT is what pissed me off the most. I never went back. So now I'm going to try Pilates.

Get ready. I'm sure I will have some Pilate Rants.

3. Politics. Holy Moly. Who could ever predict that this would happen? I am going for Hillary though of course I chose Obama over Hillary before. I like Bernie but he's out there. And maybe it's his supporters that even irritate me more. The ones who won't vote for anyone but Bernie. I haven't sent Hillary any money, yet. Maybe I won't even. I like her but I'm not super passionate about her as I was Obama. Besides she probably doesn't need my money. But I get a little bit irritated with the Bernie folks in the same way I get irritated with people who proudly claim they never ever watch TV, as if they are beneath it. There is a lot of good shit on TV first of all. Maybe they are just too cheap to pay for cable.

4. Speaking of TV. My new favorite show is "Better Call Saul". Jonathan Banks and Bob Odenkirk are so awesome! I also love "Walking Dead". And my all time favorite show is "Breaking Bad" (which is why I am watching Saul). Never thought I would like anything more than "The West Wing", but I do!

5. I was thinking about stuff I am missing. I was thinking about cars and I said to someone the other day that I really miss chrome bumpers on cars. You know, like in a '68 Camaro or an older Mustang. And I miss playing CDs. I think they sound better than streaming music. I still play them and in fact right now I'm playing Dylan's "Blood on the Tracks" as I type. I miss when people used to talk to each other in restaurants instead of looking at their phones. Damn, I am going to quit with just these because I am starting to sound old or like Clint Eastwood in the El Camino movie....(speaking of chrome!)

Prince died yesterday. And all of a sudden I sort of got obsessed with his death. It feels like when Michael Jackson died. I actually don't own any Prince CDs but I really love so many of his songs and "Little Red Corvette" and "When Doves Cry" are way up there in my all time favorite songs. But I mostly loved them covered by someone else. I could never find a version that Prince did that didn't sound like that 80's pop sound (which I hate). The Be Good Tanyas do a great version of "When Doves Cry". I always hoped Prince would do acoustic versions and release them. And of course Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares to U" was so amazing.

7. Lately I've been thinking that maybe I am starting to get Alzheimer's. The broke my favorite Le Creuset lasagne pan because I laid it on the burner to make room but I didn't turn off the burner and even though it was on low it heated that cookware up and shattered and just like that $200+ dollars out the window. Yesterday I caught myself starting to put the leftover salad bag in the cupboard instead of the refrigerator. And where I used to be good at remembering names I am no longer. Also I can't keep characters straight in books, though in truth, I always did have a hard time with retention in  anything I read unless I wrote it down. That's where I learned to take copious notes and write really fast! Anyway I put this down for reference. I am going to be 59 years old and I feel like I'm slipping.

I have to end this because blogging is a bitch on the iPad and my brother is still online with my desktop. Maybe I will come back and edit and add a Prince video or a photo of my favorite Le Cruset pan, RIP! :)

Friday, March 18, 2016

I'm Baaaack. And Old Fashioned Random Blog Posting.

Numbered of course!

1. Well, this is disconcerting. Back in the day when i would go to log into my blog i only needed to type the L (for Letmetellyouwhatithink) and it would go to my blog. Today when i started to type in my blog name it popped up 'Lamps Plus".

2. Best thing happening: Brian and i discovered Blue Apron meals a month ago and we love it so much i feel like it's changed our life! No more calling each other "whaddya want for dinner" ; "I dunno, maybe Pho?"; "Yeah, i don't want to go to the grocery store"; Now it's delivered to our door. I am going to do a post about this on Facebook because i want other people to know because i wish someone had told me sooner. The food is amazing. We cook it, but the quality of the ingredients is so good and the recipes are perfect for us. I did do a lot of research online before i chose them.

3. Best books I've read all year: A Man Called Ove. Now i'm reading his other book My Grandmother Told Me To Tell You She's Sorry. The other is Home is Burning by Dan Marshall, which is a memoir written by a young guy who dropped everything to go home and help take care of his dad who had ALS. I would like to be friends with Dan Marshall and recently clicked to follow him on Facebook. He's hilarious.

4. Oh for Fuck's sake.... I was so so so very wrong about this election! I said Bernie had no chance and wouldn't go far. I said no way would Trump be the nominee, that it would be between Mark Rubio and Jeb Bush, maybe even Chris Christie. I am going to the Democratic caucus this month and gathering with friends afterwards. I almost want to go in uncommitted because i want to see how the Bernie folks sell me.

5. I will be turning 59 years old pretty soon, but i wish i was turning 60 so i could just get it over with. When i turned 39 i told everyone i was turning 40 for the same reason. When the folks at the office where i work gave me a 40th bday party and i never told them i was only 39.

5. For me, turning 40 and 60 are very similar feeling birthdays.  Turning 40 makes you officially middle age, which isn't a good feeling when you are still feeling like you are 28. And turning 60 is BEYOND middle age. Nobody lives to 120. So yeah....60 is undeniably ....not youthful.

6. Holy shit. Just to make an example of how shitty it is to get old ... i just now went in to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. And while doing so i thought of what to put up for #6 Random Thought. And in the 32 steps (since we live in a small condo) back to the computer room i forgot what i was going to say.

7. I do this running very often too. I think of lots of stuff while running. But since i am not running with a paper and pen i forget what they are when i get back. Brian says it happens to him often too and we laugh and talk about how we might get alzheimers at the same time and maybe it would be nice in our old age because we would feel like we are always just meeting each other again and that newborn fragile madness of falling in love could be fun when you are 80 years old.

8.  My favorite musical artist these days is a guy i've mentioned before on here. Jason Isbell is amazing. I bought his new cd and have to stop myself from overplaying it. I forget the title but my favorite song on there is How to Forget. Another artist i love right now is Andrew Duhon. His song Evelyn slays me. My favorite nephew Brian and his wife Adrienne (Brady's parents) are going to have a little girl this summer and it's fun coming up with girl names. I told him Clementine as a joke but he actually likes the name and on his phone he is keeping a list of girl names and Clementine is at the top of his list. I was totally joking. But then i told him Evelyn, because i do like that name - in part because i don't think it's trendy. So i told him to listen to the song by Andrew Duhon. It will be fun to see what they come up with.

9. I'm going to look for the YouTube of Evelyn by Andrew Duhon and call it a night. Hope i remember how to do that on blogger! It's been awhile.

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Let's Go Chris Rock!

OK, I will likely be here by myself blogging about the Oscars, but it's been kind of tradition for me and even though I'm almost always disappointed in the Best Picture I do like making fun of the celebrities and love their dresses.

I am wearing a 15 year old pair of drawstring baggy rolled up cuff pants from Costco that I think I paid $17 for. I have a glass of Spellbound Syrah in my glass. Not sure I will stick it out for the whole time, but I am interested in Chris Rock.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Facebitch, Cam Newton, and other stuff i sorta hate and sorta like

I've said it before and I'm saying it again. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.  In the past year i feel like it's been sliding deep into a shallow pool of banality, stupidity and polarity and some other 'ity' words that i could probably come up with if i had a better vocabulary.

I blame it on memes.

I am sick of these types of memes: People keep falling for this shit and don't realize it's click baiting, click jacking or whatever the hell you want to call it. Don't do it people! Just don't! It's a scam!

Here are some memes I like: 

What i like about Facebook: .. real photos, especially photos people post that are old and back in the day when they were taken with Kodak Instamatic cameras and the month and year were stamped in the border; i don't mind baby photos (unless you post them all the time); YouTube videos of Jimmy Fallon playing as Neil Young, Springsteen, etc. and other good music i like;  recipes ( actually cook often from stuff i see on Facebook!) and funny stories that happened to people.

What i don't like: People posting about their dying family member, (though having said that i understand the obituary posts, but that might be because i have a fascination with a well written obituary and collect them for my scrapbook); the type of memes i posted above, especially those gushy ones about how much you love your family. You know what i think? If you are posting memes about how much you love your husband, daughter, son, probably means you are feeling like they don't love you back. It feel so manipulative!

I have a couple of friends who post about breast feeding rights which makes me a little crazy because they are fairly militant about it. I don't like anything extreme on Facebook. Our race issues/gun/abortion/Muslim vs God/ debates will never be solved on Facebook and i wonder why people even try and wish they would stop.

Now... about Cam Newton.... 
My brothers Scott and Troy taught me a lot about football and i was quite a fan of football back in the 1970's. They never stopped watching the NFL since they were kids and were totally invested in the Seahawks from the beginning.  I only watched when i liked the players which was when Richard Sherman and Russell Wilson came on board. (Like a novel i need to find a character i like in the book before i can continue reading it.) 

After we lost our chances for the SuperBowl I mentioned how much i don't like Cam Newton for all the reasons you've heard, (one of them being he ripped a 12th Man flag from the game we lost and threw it on the ground). Scott said he didn't mind him at all and felt Cam was misunderstood because if you watch him, his antics are mostly exuberance because he loves the game so much, he's always smiling and giving the balls away to the kids....and he added wouldn't we sort of like to see Russell Wilson break out of his controlled personality and let loose a little? I had to admit he had a point. Not only that, i realize my favorite Richard Sherman is also vilified for doing what Cam does. And i can see where other teams might not appreciate the 12th fan so much. (I get fairly irritated by the WSU Coug spirit where we live.) So yeah, Cam, maybe you're not so bad, but i'm still going for Denver and Peyton Manning. (LOVE those ridiculous insurance commercials he does.) But i have to say, that Cam Newton is a fucking amazing quarterback and i think they are going to cream Denver. (If i were that good i too would probably be doing the Superman antics and more.) 

Going Back to Work: 
I have been working part-time again at Washington Education Association, my old job since last September and will be working until April. First i was at headquarters for a few months and this month i started at my old office because my replacement (who is also a Jo) is doing organizing work in the field. I work two days a week for 9 1/2 hours a day. I like the paycheck - (they pay me my regular wage that i had before i retired) and i like that it I have to be somewhere a couple of days a week. 

What it reminds me of though is how burned out I was on organizing work and politics. And how it sucked the soul out of me for that kind of work which i used to think i was good at. They have hired me to only do the financial duties and membership database work, work that can't be done by the others in the office. As things swirls around me i feel how i am no longer invested in the importance of that work. And it makes me kind of sad. 

When i was working i did so much more than i am doing now. I haven't volunteered politically or working with kids or anything now that i have the time. I am not bored being retired, but i wonder what happened to my mojo for those things. 

That cliche is true : If you want something done, find a busy person. 

P.S. Re: the word meme: Who else saw the word "NO" first? 

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Random Blog Ideas from my iPad Notes App

On my iPad Air is a NOTES app which i write on when i can't sleep (and sometimes when i just think of something during the day). I've been adding ideas about blogging; things i need to remember not to forget; movies i want to add to Netflix; and stuff i need to do. Here are some of those notes (most of which are blog ideas i've had in the past two years since i've own this iPad.)

I won't include all of them but they are in order most recent on down: (My added stuff from the iPad notes will be shown in italics.)

Ryan Adams - favorite song: Sweet Home Carolina 
Bruce Springsteen- favorite song: Thunder Road 
Van Morrison - favorite song: Celtic New Year
1. Famous People I Would Miss If They Died. (This came about because of David Bowie's Death). My brother Troy and i both agreed that we would miss Van Morrison, Bruce Springsteen and Ryan Adams.

2. New Blog Title: "Hey Jo, Where You Goin' With That Pen in Your Hand" ... I actually think i will change the banner title to this now. It will still be the same blog URL letmetellyouwhatithink. 

3. What Not To Do On Facebook.

4. The word 'minimalist' is difficult to say and SHOULD be a smaller word when you think about it. ...And other absurdities.

5. Ten Better Conversation Openers Than Talking About the Weather and in parenthesis i have included (What law would you break if you could get away with it?)

6. Pa maw by cluster b be there by 2:50.... It really did say this and i could not understand what i was trying to say. It was a note i wrote when i couldn't sleep. Later i remembered it was about my doctor appoint with the Physicians Assistant and i needed to check in at Cluster B. hahaha! 

7. My 1969 Harley Davidson motorcycle. I wrote this down when we were remodeling and found the title to my motorcycle i owned in 1980. I bought it from a librarian at the law school where i worked. It got me to thinking about how much it would be worth at the Pawn Stars show. I left it when i got divorced. 
This is what mine looked like! 

8. Always Use This Alibi When You Are Caught Doing Something Bad

9. A Better Way to Take Care of an Asshole Without Having to Kill Them

10. How Best to Respond When Someone Seems to be Fishing for a Compliment and You Having Nothing Good to Say

11. How To Write a Sympathy Card for Someone You Don't Know That Well

12. The Best Way to Piss Off a Passive Aggressive Person

13. Things I Might Do. Things I Will Never Do
I couldn't find one photo that showed an electrical cord 

Where are the electrical cords? 
14. From Sandra Bullock Movie: Tell Me Three Images From Your Childhood

15. How Come You Never See Visible Electrical Cords on the HG Channel?

16. Things I Want Invented

17. Title of My Book That I Will Never Write: If You Lived Here You'd Be Home By Now

18. Blog Title About Getting Older: 'Relaxed Fit'

Monday, January 11, 2016

10 Reasons I Never Wanted to Have Children:

Me with Brady - T-Day 2015
My Dad and Brady - T-day 2014
Brady with his Dad Brian, T-Day 2015

First off, let me say that i actually really really like kids. I'll admit newborn babies bore the shit out of me plus i'm always afraid i will break their neck when their parents insist i hold them. But once they get about 3 months old and smile at me I start to come around. I especially like kids when they get to be about 18 months and start talking and understanding so i have to start being sure not to say "fuck".

It's no secret I am nuts about my great nephew Brady, who turned 2 years old October 15.

Brady is the first son of my brother's first son Brian. Because Brady doesn't have a grandmother around Brian let me know before Brady was ever born that they were hoping I would step up in the surrogate grandma role. I laughed it off at the time and reminded him that i didn't have children for a reason. But once Brady was born and got past that fragile stage I got to where i was missing seeing him if two weeks went by. I would call THEM to babysit. I babysit about 3 times a month, at least twice and after a couple of weeks i am amazed at how much he learns in that short time. (I'm doing pretty good, haven't slipped up and said 'fuck' once!)

Having said all this, i do not regret having children of my own. Not once have i ever entertained having a baby in a real way. Here's why:

1. Being a mom means more contact with family and i don't want more contact with my mom than i already have had. I call my mom Two Drink Minimum for a reason and if I had a baby i would probably be in rehab right now because she would have been in my life more often than she has been.

2. Alone time has always been a huge thing for me, ever since i can remember past the age of the time i played with Barbies. Maybe because i rarely got it since my 6 member family lived in base housing that was mostly less than 1200 square feet and i always shared a room.

3. When would i be able to read? I can't imagine not having time to read books. This might be more important to me than even #1.

4. I would rather have a colonoscopy every week than be pregnant. Not to mention giving birth.

And let me just lump this here too with #4: the idea of breast feeding always kind of creeped me out. I think it's because i have this total need to NOT BE IN DEMAND. I do not mind women breastfeeding, (UNLESS you are a militant breast feeder and trying to make a point....for example i saw a woman in Nordstrom's Cafe once letting it all hang out while she breastfed across from a woman i took to be her mom. It just pissed me off. There i said it. Just cover up at least a little and i have no problem. )  The idea of that kind of demand is appalling to me. And don't even go there with pumping breasts.

5. I never got to go to college. So ignorant were my parents about college that i didn't even know about student loans. I got excellent grades in school and graduated with honors but slipped through the cracks because i went to three high schools. I would be kicking my kid's ass ever if i saved up my money to send my kid to college and they flunked out or didn't do anything with their degree.

6. I don't want to go to jail.

7. Vulnerability. OH MY GOD. i cannot think of anything that makes a person more vulnerable than having a child. And then people do this more than once? How are you parents all so brave? Seriously! I would be worried every freaking minute because i tend to be an overly cautious person about most everything. (Not to mention what stuff happens to them emotionally through bullying or what have you.) You cannot protect a child all the time. But i would want to. Seriously when i am babysitting Brady i am obsessively looking at the monitor (especially when he was a real baby) making sure he was sort of moving and breathing and i will admit to a few times charging up the stairs because i couldn't tell if he was.

8. What if, when they become adults, they marry someone you cannot stand? I know too well how a bad spouse can ruin a whole family. Christmas and Thanksgiving are screwed forever. Plus paying for weddings when i want to remodel my kitchen instead.

9. Even worse, what if you don't like your own kid? This is possible i know from personal experience because my mom didn't like me as a kid. She was totally jealous of me when i was a toddler because my Dad liked me so much. One time not long ago after one too many chardonnays she admitted this. That and the fact that she didn't get to go to France on my Dad's two year assignment because i got really sick when i was 2.

10. The final one? Because i like saying the word 'fuck".

Monday, January 4, 2016

Happy New Year and Other Random Shit.

Since I retired I have loved the holidays more than I used to. It's nice to have time to shop and wrap and decorate and cook. It's also nice to be able to just hang around the house in comfortable yoga pants, (the baggy ones, not the ones that fit), just looking at the tree drinking a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, depending on the time of day.

I like hanging out doing nothing probably more than I should. It's one of the reasons I didn't want a Fitbit tracker. I didn't really want to know that on my non-run days I barely log in 2000 steps towards my set 10,000 step I did on New Year's Day, since I watched three movies back to back.

I did get a new Garmin tracker for Xmas since I broke three Fitbit ones. So far, so good. I am not making any real NY's resolutions except to still continue working towards my goal of continuing running until I am 60 years old. (Pretty sure I'll make it now, since that day will come next year.) I am also going to try and not check in so much on Facebook. Right now it's rather boring to me anyway. Lots and lots of memes and jokes that I've already seen before. I do like some of the breaking news and photos (as long as it's not the 32nd photo of your grandbaby that week). But I am ill equipped to respond to posts about illnesses and tragedies and they seem to be more frequent this time of year, so I think it won't be that difficult to leave it alone more than I used to. (Plus I will be back at work at Soundview, my own job part time starting tomorrow) and will be working until April.

I keep thinking of what I want to spend that money on because I told myself I would not put it into savings this time because I really didn't want to go back to work. I bought Brian a new MacBook Pro for Xmas which totally surprised him so that took some of it. Had new bedstands made by a carpenter friend. And I bought an expensive pair of Cole Haan rider boots. But I can't think of what else I want off the top of my head. One of the benefits of living in a small place I guess. It keeps me from buying stuff since we have little storage. I am sure I will come up with something. Maybe I will have my kitchen cabinets refaced and painted again, though they don't look THAT bad right now.

I recently discovered David Foster Wallace because I watched a movie about him with Jason Siegel called The End of the Tour. Funny thing, when I ordered it I thought because it was about the Rolling Stone reporters time spent with DFW that when I ordered the Netflix DVD I thought it was the end of  a Rolling Stones tour because I read it too fast. Hahaha. A nice happy accident. Since then I have read his essays on Cruise ship vacations and state fairs and since I am not fond of either I found them both hilarious and accurate. DFW writes with a keen but kind insight I think. He makes fun without being mean. How does he do that? I had heard of him awhile ago because he had been written about in Rolling Stone magazine (the only magazine I still subscribe to now) and I knew he had committed suicide. It's interesting that a guy who can write with such humor would be so sad.

Also over the Christmas break I discovered all of the Girl with The Dragon Tattoo movies, I love the Swedish Lisbeth AND the American Lisbeth. Honestly couldn't choose one, though I did think the Swedish actor was maybe a little too pretty for the part. Just as Daniel Craig was a little too cool for his part of Mikel Bloomqvist. All good movies. I had read the first two books, but not the third.

Let's see what else ? I can write all I want now without worrying about length since this blog is pretty much dead. But here's the thing about it. Recently I needed to know a couple of things - for example, when did we buy our iMac desktop?....and I knew I had written about it here so I was able to figure it out. I like having some history where I know I can find it since my filing system at home for such things is not as organized as you might think a slightly OCD person would maintain. My OCDness is mostly saved for the outwardly appearances. What is behind closets and cabinet doors and out of sight does not bother me so much. Hence, terrible filing practices. (Probably has something to do with that it is too much like work).

Brian's band The Brian Feist Band is no longer together and we sort of knew that it was probably not going to last a year, which is fine with me. Brian still practices with his old band and is practicing jazz now with a sort of hybrid of the musicians from the BFB and the Blues Oasis.

We got a new Samsung smart tv which was finally delivered in late August (just in time for Seahawks) And it was like Christmas because we didn't have a decent tv because it took 9 months to get our media center with the rolling barn doors built by Erichsen Brothers. It was worth it though because it came out so beautiful and I love our TV and being able to stream Netflix and Amazon and YouTube. Now I just have to be sure I'm not spending my non-Facebook time watching TV .

Well this is about enough for a post. I discovered adult coloring this year and have some cool Prismacolor pencils that I received for Xmas, so I think I will go and do some of that. It really is cathartic. Almost, but not quite like Xanax. I think once the election kicks into full gear I will be doing even more coloring to keep myself sane.

My hopes for 2016: Seahawks go back to SuperBowl and win. Everyone in my family stays healthy. And a small one, I hope it snows!