Friday, March 30, 2018

Dancing With Myself.

Remember that Billy Idol song? Of course if you were still here blogging you might say. "Oh yes! I totally remember that song!" And then we could have a great discussion about all of those bad 1980's songs! And we would all be Googling the very worst titles! And it would go on for comment after comment. And it would be so much fun.

Anyway i keep hoping that maybe blogging will come back in fashion, like vinyl has. ESPECIALLY since Facebook is eating shit over the Cambridge Analytical firestorm. (AS THEY SHOULD!)

I am never going back to Facebook. I was reluctant to start in the first place (just as i was about getting a digital camera and a cell phone, though i have appreciation for the camera and i have managed to use the phone in moderation, unlike Facebook.)

Anyway, here i am because i need a writing outlet.  It's fun sometimes look back and see what i was thinking.

Enough introduction. Let's just number away and see where we go:

1. I got a $50 iTunes gift card for Christmas from my nephew Brian and his wife and i cannot find any music i want to buy. What i did buy is Linda Ronstadt's Heart Like a Wheel album. Ann Wilson from Heart has a cd coming out this summer (originally titled Dead Guys Music, but i think has been renamed to something more appropriate) -she's doing music by Tom Petty, Chris Cornell, David Bowie, Leonard Cohen songs. I will buy that one too!

2. I finished three books in one week by not being on Facebook. I had gotten away from reading in the months before quitting Facebook. (The downside of my reading frenzy is not all due to leaving FB, it's also insomnia - which i've had for awhile - made worse due to tinnitus (which started before Christmas and hasn't gone away...and also as before, runaway brain).  Brian got me some non-THC edible pot from a friend who sells it at a legal pot shop. So the next time i feel like i can't shut off my brain i'm using it. (I'll post here later to talk about how it went.)

3. In truth i have barely ever in my life smoked pot because i never smoked cigarettes and i didn't like the idea of inhaling anything.....I tried it a few times and actually liked it how it made me feel,  but i hate smoking and coughing. HOWEVER, edibles i can probably get into, now that it's legal. I just want them for those nights i know it's going to be bad. I told my friend Sarah, i can tell when that is going to happen just as i used to be able to tell that an orgasm just wasn't in the cards no matter how good in bed the guy i was with was or what he did. (Because sometimes your brain overrides your physical attraction/needs).

4. What i worry about: North Korea, China and Russia all banding together to upend America because of President idiot. (I decided that whatsisname doesn't even deserve a capital "I" in "idiot". )

5. What i don't miss about Facebook: (I am going to quit talking about this very soon, i promise, for anyone reading. I don't want to fall into that category of 'methinks she doth protest too much'.)

I wrote this to a friend recently and want to put it here. I don't like feeling beholding to people, or feeling obligated or being needed too much (especially by needy people). It's a reason i didn't want children.

I don't mean to say i would be a bad friend because most of my friends are self sufficient as i am. BUT if they did need me, i would be there. I don't seek out folks who are overly needy, thrive on chaos, are too self involved, or like wallowing in their misery. So my REAL friends on Facebook are not the problem.

What i realized shortly after leaving Facebook was that i was leaving behind a lot of shit that i was not interested in trying to keep up with. Like constantly having to feel like i needed to 'like' someone's baby photos, (even if they put up their thousandth photo of the baby). Or i worried i 'liked' one niece's baby photos more than the other's. I didn't like how i felt when i walked on by the people posting about feeling sick.But i could not understand why folks posted about every sniffle, cold, etc. (If you are so sick why are you posting on Facebook?) If you are able to post, then get your ass to work!

 I didn't like feeling obligated to wish a happy birthday to someone who was a 'friend' - but not really a friend i would enjoy going to lunch with. (I  had 'friends' who made requests of me which i accepted because that's what you do, right?)

I had too many friends, who were not friends at all and it wore me down.

Navigating the ongoing posts about dying children (or family members) were the worst.  (What do you say to someone you don't really know THAT well but they are your FB friend?)   Politics were also bad. Maybe the worst thing about Facebook . (Though i personally didn't have many folks on the opposite side as me, so i didn't get into it too much) ... Also those damed requests for signing petitions. Even when i agreed with the cause i hated them. It meant i would get a bunch more emails. My newsfeed was filled with ads i was constantly trying to hide and gawd damn the corny memes - i especially hated those ones that said "I love my daughter/son/mother/wife....etc etc. " (you know the ones. )  WTF? why does that deserve a post? Is that not a given? (And don't even get me started on i love my perfect husband posts...)

6. What i miss about Facebook:  SOME baby photos i really liked seeing. Especially those where the photographer has a good eye for a good photo. I also miss the book posts and my own book review NOTES. (Now i keep them in Notes on my iPad). Many friends helped me when i asked, especially with traveling (Pearl). I miss seeing some recipes and music posts. I learned about YouTube videos about Pilates (Alycia) that i am still using today, a couple of months later. But i can still find that stuff on my own and i have the emails of the folks i want to stay in touch with. and i also have Goodreads for books and i may start posting my reviews there. I like keep a list of books i have read.

7. I was thinking about Melania T. the other day. And what i would do if i were her. She would be a hero to women if she took her son and got the hell out of the Super White House and filed for divorce. And admitted that she never wanted that job in the first place .  Wouldn't it be cool if she resorted to physical domestic violence against him too. Like throw a Manolo Blahnik shoe at him, maybe stabbing him in the eye or better yet, his Twitter fingers,

8. I actually had to Google Manolo Blahnik because i couldn't remember that shoe. You know how i found it? I googled "Sex in the City shoes" ... hahahaha.

10. Back to the Beginning.... Worst 80's Songs: i would choose : "Lady in Red" (forget the dude's name who sang it) ; "Sussido" by Phil Collins comes to mind.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

The Reasons I Quit Facebook

I quit Facebook at the end of February when i was called back to work at my old job again. (I think this is my 6th gig working post-retirement now, which will be 5 years this August. Wow. those 5 years went by very quickly, but maybe because i was working?....)

Hahahaha I'm on my third glass of Foris Chardonnay (VERY good!) and i remembered to close the parenthesis that time. Normally my signature on this blog is i don't remember to do that.

The reason i quit Facebook:

1. ) I am still mad that FB contributed to president Cuckfunt because of how “news” was passed around with no controls. I also was flabbergasted and crazed by the comments from the pro-CF folks who had no problem using their real names when they posted such awful racist things and it made me mad and sad for our country.

2. ) I checked it way way way too much after retirement, even as i was bored with my newsfeed because it got pretty redundant with my FB friends who felt like i did politically. Some stuff i liked, and many people helped me over there, but lately my newsfeed was mostly CF news and advertisements.

3. ) A few days after the Parkland Florida school shooting I had a falling out with a FB friend who  posted a video on her feed from this wacko gun-nut job  S e a n   W h a l e n (edited to spread his name so that it doesn’t pop up in a search as i just saw that it did)  ranting about the shooting and how the students need to speak up more - to me,  it felt like he was blaming the other students ....(look him up if you want to see something crazy, that dude posted photos of his own kids posing with smug smiles holding semi automatic weapons. I would link his video here but i believe it’s only on his Facebook page.)

I was surprised to see that of all the news about that horrible school shooting, THAT was the video she chose to share. And all is said was that i might agree with his rant on the Parkland shooting if only he didn't have these kinds of photos on his page. And i posted two of the many he had with his young three kids ) posing with guns.  I thought maybe she didn't know and would want to know and take it down. I had never received a message from her before but i got one after my comment, reaming me for 'shaming' . I was so surprised. I thought i was doing her a favor by letting her know. Looking back now i think i should have messaged her instead but i had never done that before and i actually did want people to know that the dude was nut case. (He makes Ted Nugent look like Ghandi!)

 I tried to tell her that was not my intent. I explained how when I see someone now posting Fake News on Facebook I try to follow with a link that shows it’s fake and i felt his video deserved a similar comment.  I just thought maybe she didn't know how crazy that guy was. She did take the video down,  but not because of him - because of me posting the photos. And not once did she take issue with his message. So it occurred to me that maybe her politics might be a bit more extreme than I knew.

This latest school shooting put me over for tolerating any rabid pro-gun shit. So i unfriended her after i couldn't make her understand that i was trying to say there are better stories out there to share that that nut job.  When i unfriended her she got really mad so she in turn blocked me. (Damn, we were like middle school kids ourselves.) But i'm okay finding out where people stand and steering clear. And i am really tired of the political playground on Facebook. So that was one of the reasons that made it easier to do what i've been thinking about doing for awhile now.

4. ) Honestly, I don’t want to be friends with any Trump supporter (or anyone who thinks that dude Whalen is an okay guy). It's a line i draw now. Truth is, i don't need or want THAT many friends anyway. I'm enough of an introvert and only have time for so many people in my life before i need a day to decompress. Cutting off folks is not an issue for me when my values are crossed.

5. ) I think maybe because i was a military brat and had to move around a lot it made it easier for me to leave people. Probably made it easier to get divorced twice before i got it right.

6. ) And Facebook also had way too many ads that i spent so much time hiding. It creeped me out when i would look online to buy something and next thing i know that advertisement showed up in my newsfeed and other places . Also i unfollowed a lot of folks but they popped up because someone i didn’t unfollow shared their post. (I don't think that unfollow and hide works that great on Facebook.). If i came back i would like to keep it to only people i would like to have lunch or coffee or wine with.  But i didn't know how to not accept a friendship without feeling like a douche. I hardly ever sent out the request myself, some folks here might remember i resisted FB a long time (just as i did with digital cameras and cell phones).

7).  My time away from Facebook has been a nice reprieve. It would be great to add that i am sleeping better, but that's another story. I am surprised that i can honestly can say i don't miss it. I really thought i would cheat but haven't wanted to at all. I did make sure i had email addresses from a few of the people i want to stay connected with and the rest of FB folks i really want to stay in touch with i see in real life anyway. The family members in Louisiana didn't really connect with me much on FB anyway (I suspect they may have steered away because of politics) so i'm not missing much there.  I might come back with election Nov. 2018 because i have super high hopes for us. And i want to be a part of a community when we celebrate. But if that goes badly i think i might just step away forever.

 Other Stuff: 
Longest run this week: 40 minutes, also 40 minutes of Pilates On Demand. Still running every other day. Some days better than others. My new goal since i surpassed my old one of running at least until i was 60 is to make it to 62.

Books: I am reading FOUR right now. 1 Dead In the Attic about Katrina; Lincoln in the Bardos (it's kind of a weird one!) ;  a book about Introverts, (it think Quiet is in the title); and the one from embedded journalist from NBC Katy Tur on the Trump campaign called Unbelievable .

Best thing that happened: Sunshine, light until 7 pm. And last week i bowled a 152, a 142 and third game ended up being an 89. (My average so far has only been about 113).

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Coming Soon. A New Random Post.

So without a Facebook page anymore i am going to blog again more often. At least that’s my plan. But i like having wine while doing it so i have to wait until i have a day when i am having wine. This weekend maybe, though it’s busy with babysitting and a one year old great niece birthday party afterwards. Maybe Friday, except i work until 6 pm. I started working at my old job last week, 3 days a week. They want me through August but i get to make my own hours and come in when i want to just so i get the stuff done they need me to do. I like that a lot. Once the weather gets better i can even walk to work. I’m just putting this here for reference because i forget these things when i get called back and sometimes i like to know.