Friday, March 30, 2018

Dancing With Myself.

Remember that Billy Idol song? Of course if you were still here blogging you might say. "Oh yes! I totally remember that song!" And then we could have a great discussion about all of those bad 1980's songs! And we would all be Googling the very worst titles! And it would go on for comment after comment. And it would be so much fun.

Anyway i keep hoping that maybe blogging will come back in fashion, like vinyl has. ESPECIALLY since Facebook is eating shit over the Cambridge Analytical firestorm. (AS THEY SHOULD!)

I am never going back to Facebook. I was reluctant to start in the first place (just as i was about getting a digital camera and a cell phone, though i have appreciation for the camera and i have managed to use the phone in moderation, unlike Facebook.)

Anyway, here i am because i need a writing outlet.  It's fun sometimes look back and see what i was thinking.

Enough introduction. Let's just number away and see where we go:

1. I got a $50 iTunes gift card for Christmas from my nephew Brian and his wife and i cannot find any music i want to buy. What i did buy is Linda Ronstadt's Heart Like a Wheel album. Ann Wilson from Heart has a cd coming out this summer (originally titled Dead Guys Music, but i think has been renamed to something more appropriate) -she's doing music by Tom Petty, Chris Cornell, David Bowie, Leonard Cohen songs. I will buy that one too!

2. I finished three books in one week by not being on Facebook. I had gotten away from reading in the months before quitting Facebook. (The downside of my reading frenzy is not all due to leaving FB, it's also insomnia - which i've had for awhile - made worse due to tinnitus (which started before Christmas and hasn't gone away...and also as before, runaway brain).  Brian got me some non-THC edible pot from a friend who sells it at a legal pot shop. So the next time i feel like i can't shut off my brain i'm using it. (I'll post here later to talk about how it went.)

3. In truth i have barely ever in my life smoked pot because i never smoked cigarettes and i didn't like the idea of inhaling anything.....I tried it a few times and actually liked it how it made me feel,  but i hate smoking and coughing. HOWEVER, edibles i can probably get into, now that it's legal. I just want them for those nights i know it's going to be bad. I told my friend Sarah, i can tell when that is going to happen just as i used to be able to tell that an orgasm just wasn't in the cards no matter how good in bed the guy i was with was or what he did. (Because sometimes your brain overrides your physical attraction/needs).

4. What i worry about: North Korea, China and Russia all banding together to upend America because of President idiot. (I decided that whatsisname doesn't even deserve a capital "I" in "idiot". )

5. What i don't miss about Facebook: (I am going to quit talking about this very soon, i promise, for anyone reading. I don't want to fall into that category of 'methinks she doth protest too much'.)

I wrote this to a friend recently and want to put it here. I don't like feeling beholding to people, or feeling obligated or being needed too much (especially by needy people). It's a reason i didn't want children.

I don't mean to say i would be a bad friend because most of my friends are self sufficient as i am. BUT if they did need me, i would be there. I don't seek out folks who are overly needy, thrive on chaos, are too self involved, or like wallowing in their misery. So my REAL friends on Facebook are not the problem.

What i realized shortly after leaving Facebook was that i was leaving behind a lot of shit that i was not interested in trying to keep up with. Like constantly having to feel like i needed to 'like' someone's baby photos, (even if they put up their thousandth photo of the baby). Or i worried i 'liked' one niece's baby photos more than the other's. I didn't like how i felt when i walked on by the people posting about feeling sick.But i could not understand why folks posted about every sniffle, cold, etc. (If you are so sick why are you posting on Facebook?) If you are able to post, then get your ass to work!

 I didn't like feeling obligated to wish a happy birthday to someone who was a 'friend' - but not really a friend i would enjoy going to lunch with. (I  had 'friends' who made requests of me which i accepted because that's what you do, right?)

I had too many friends, who were not friends at all and it wore me down.

Navigating the ongoing posts about dying children (or family members) were the worst.  (What do you say to someone you don't really know THAT well but they are your FB friend?)   Politics were also bad. Maybe the worst thing about Facebook . (Though i personally didn't have many folks on the opposite side as me, so i didn't get into it too much) ... Also those damed requests for signing petitions. Even when i agreed with the cause i hated them. It meant i would get a bunch more emails. My newsfeed was filled with ads i was constantly trying to hide and gawd damn the corny memes - i especially hated those ones that said "I love my daughter/son/mother/wife....etc etc. " (you know the ones. )  WTF? why does that deserve a post? Is that not a given? (And don't even get me started on i love my perfect husband posts...)

6. What i miss about Facebook:  SOME baby photos i really liked seeing. Especially those where the photographer has a good eye for a good photo. I also miss the book posts and my own book review NOTES. (Now i keep them in Notes on my iPad). Many friends helped me when i asked, especially with traveling (Pearl). I miss seeing some recipes and music posts. I learned about YouTube videos about Pilates (Alycia) that i am still using today, a couple of months later. But i can still find that stuff on my own and i have the emails of the folks i want to stay in touch with. and i also have Goodreads for books and i may start posting my reviews there. I like keep a list of books i have read.

7. I was thinking about Melania T. the other day. And what i would do if i were her. She would be a hero to women if she took her son and got the hell out of the Super White House and filed for divorce. And admitted that she never wanted that job in the first place .  Wouldn't it be cool if she resorted to physical domestic violence against him too. Like throw a Manolo Blahnik shoe at him, maybe stabbing him in the eye or better yet, his Twitter fingers,

8. I actually had to Google Manolo Blahnik because i couldn't remember that shoe. You know how i found it? I googled "Sex in the City shoes" ... hahahaha.

10. Back to the Beginning.... Worst 80's Songs: i would choose : "Lady in Red" (forget the dude's name who sang it) ; "Sussido" by Phil Collins comes to mind.

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