Seven Years, But No Itch.

I need to change my blog, so i thought i would make it easy on myself.

I have been married three times. I have never been married longer than 7 years. Today is my 7th wedding anniversary.

I wrote these 11 Things About Boo 8 years ago on the Gumbo YaYa board and they still stand.

1. After 9 years we still call each other at work at least once a day to say hi. it
feels funny in those rare times if we can't because things get too hectic.

2. He makes my coffee and brings it to me in the bathtub every morning even
when he stopped drinking coffee himself.

3. When i have to go away overnight for work or when he's had to - we miss each
other even if it's only a couple of nights and ring up big phone bills on the calling
card just like the "dating years".

4. He has sparkly eyes and a bright open face that people are really attracted to
and he's good looking , but not in any pretty boy way.

5. He tells me what he appreciates in me and catches me doing good things.

6. We have the same politics and values.

7. We drive across the state quite a few times a year to flyfish and see his
mom (over 3 hour drive) and we many time don’t even turn on the radio on because we are always talking. He loves to talk like i do and we always have stuff we want to say to each
other.

8. He's a calm, centered person with little ego and a quiet confidence.

9. He looks good in a toolbelt. and knows how to use the tools!!!!!

10. If he's mad or upset with me we talk it out at the time he's feeling it. (& i do
the same.) So we save alot of hurt by not dragging stuff out or acting passive
aggressive.

11. Sometimes when I’m cooking he comes in the kitchen and does this little dance that cracks me up! i call it the "Boo Boo Twist". It looks alittle like that dance the groundhog does at the end of the movie “Caddyshack”

My underpants are twisted today.

MENU OF THE DAY:

on iTunes: Brett Dennen's

"Ain't No Reason"

Reading: The new book by Elizabeth Flock. She wrote "Emma and Me". This new one is good.

Next Netflix DVD: "Slumdog Millionaire" (We're gonna watch it this weekend.)

One of my favorite opening lines from a book: "We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold..."

One of my favorite opening lyrics to a song: "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth a taste."

Last song i bought on iTunes: "Mad World" by Idol's Adam Lambert

In my glass: Metro's Market own label titled simply "White". A really good $8 blend of viognier and chardonnay.

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I'm going to try to tell you what twists me, but add the good news with it. Let's see if i can do it:

1. My underpants are twisted today because my old beloved 1992 Honda Accord sedan was stolen today. (When i bought my new car Brian gave me $4000 for my old Honda a year ago and now it is his car.) It was stolen today, out of parking lot of his college campus.

2. I bought that car brand new and took such good care of it. I had it waxed EVERY winter. (and just like my profile says, regular oil changes.) I parked far away from beater cars so the body was really straight. And the mileage was so low, only a little over 100,000 miles. That car would have gone another 10 years. It has full insurance on it, but i know we'll likely only get about $1500 for it.

3. Brian said he thought he was going crazy at first worrying about his brain when he couldn't find it where he parked it this evening. When he called in to the police for a case number he was told that the license plate was called for some reason in from Spokane 5 hours away. I don't understand this - why weren't they picked up?

4. The good news in all this is that it was NOT my husband's brain. AND he did NOT have his laptop and his good camera in there as he often does. And just yesterday he took out his iPod. (I told him he had a guardian angel, in spite of the angel letting the car go.)

5. Ok, forget the car....What is REALLY pissing me off right now though is iTunes. I am trying to listen to playlists and it will only play one stupid song on the list and then quit. When i try to close it out, it won't. (I would reboot now, but i'm afraid i'll lose this new blog post. So now i'm writing music-less.)

6. I also hate Microsoft. And why the hell is my hair not being blown back like those Comcast commercials? (I must send 50 ERROR MESSAGES a week. )

7. I hope some hack is really in some airless windowless office working for Microsoft and has to look at each and every one of those.

8. Actually i don't wish that on a Microsoft employee. I wish that BILL GATES, his very own self was the one having to check each of the error messages. The good news is this that Microsoft is located in our state.

9. Today I saw a guy throw his pop can on the ground as i was at the stoplight. I wanted to roll down my window and yell at him to pick it up (I have actually done that in the old days.) but i noticed when he threw it down it appeared to still be partly full and i was worried that he pick it up and throw it at my car. So i didn't. The good news is that my car didn't get trashed.

9. (But i did give him a hairy eyeball as i drove by.)

10. I could almost shoot litterers. And people who ding your car doors too. (AND people who steal your cars.) And anybody who is mean to kids.

11. And hell, anybody who is mean to me too.

12. The good news is that i don't carry a gun.

13. (But sometimes i like the idea of it.)

14. I think i also want to shoot my newspaper. I already sort of quit watching the news on TV (Idol and Lost and The Office keeps me pretty busy anyway.) But i cannot stand reading about one more job loss or one more business going away. G.I. Joes and Gottschalk's are the most recent in our area. I do not know where our city will get it's taxes. The good news is that we still have a local newspaper.

15. I drafted a letter to my union to send later this week about postponing next year's raise. (We are a union who works for school employee's unions.) My good friend and union director, Toni loved the letter is joining me in this endeavor even as it means a loss of money for her because she is retiring after next year. People are going to be mad at us and what makes ME mad is that that our union president did not received this well at all and lectured us about union values when we gave her a heads up out of courtesy. I believe SHE should be leading this charge, not us.

16. The good news is that I appreciate so much working with Toni. She has more to lose than i do. Also she has more friends in the organization (which could be good for success) or bad for her in that more people she cares about will be mad at her.

17. I am very worried about my youngest brother. He is going through a tough time with his upcoming divorce (it's long overdue and everyone who cares about him is so happy to know he is finally getting free.) But all his life, since he was 20, he has only worked in construction. And now he is trying to make the mortgage on his own. And he doesn't know where his next job is coming from after the one he has now. I never thought that someone i cared about in my life, a hard worker, someone who always paid his bills on time, an honest man, would now have to weigh paying his mortgage or buying groceries. But that is his true reality today. And it's our country's reality. The good news. He is amazingly positive, because he is now able to connect with his family again and is out of that toxic relationship. And he is humbled by the people who want to help. And there are many.

Oh boy, this is longer than i meant it to be. Let me add one more thing though and end on a high note: I took this photo of my husband last week on one of our "Friday night" dinner at home date nights. I like it. And I love him...a lot. And that's a good thing.

OK, y'all know the drill: add whatever is tweaking you, but this time try and add a good thing behind it.

Happy Easter ...My family in 1965... Bedford, Virginia

HAPPY EASTER!

(Inspired by Islandpearl's Easter photo cause i love old photos!)

Here are the only family Easter photos that I think exist in my family. The first one here was taken in 1965 in Bedford, Virginia.

I am the oldest in my family - So i'm far right (smiling with the bad Toni perm and that little stupid white hat.)

I crack up when i think that my brother Scott (who is only 11 months younger than I am) and I might actually be holding hands because that is so not like us.

It's no accident either that my sister Kelly is looking down. She almost always looks disconnected from any photo that is ever taken of all of us. (I think one of the reasons i love photography so much is because a photograph tells the truth in a way that words never do.)

Here is another Easter photo taken before going to Mass. This is during the time we lived Zama, Japan . (We were military brats. You can tell we were in Japan by the Japanese doll in the glass case and the Mt. Fuji painting in the background.) I believe this is 1972. Scott and I are in the same position as the previous one. I am 15 years old here. Scott is 14. Kelly is 12 and Troy, the youngest is 9.

Edited to add another photo: not from Easter but I took it off my mom's refrigerator tonight at Easter dinner (so i could scan it and give it back to her). I think it's interesting that while Kelly looks happy in some photos there is always some distance. I pointed it out to Troy tonight and he had to admit that after looking at other photos framed at our mom's house, there is a disconnect between Kelly and the rest of us - it's either physical or she just looks unhappy. (Sometimes i do too, but i usually look sort of more angry than unhappy.) The one who always looks happiest is Troy, the youngest.

Viognier in my glass. Not sure what's in my head ...just yet.

Menu of the Day:
Photo: From my trip with galpals to Alderbrook Inn last week.
On Shuffle Play: "Three Marlenas" by The Wallflowers.
Last book read: See below
Best thing that happened this week: Simon gave my favorite Idol, Adam Lambert, a standing ovation last night. I don't think Simon has ever done that. It's been making the pop culture news.
Bad News: The Adam Lambert YouTube has been removed nearly everywhere - i think because they are collaborating and making money with iTunes this year. (Even from online news article links have been removed) and now i think Islandpearl here is the the ONLY person in the whole world who has it because her DVR recording cut off the end of Fox's Fringe and instead includes the last 7 minutes of Idol. (Adam performed on the last 3 minutes. ) the song is Mad World. It was a Donnie Darko song. I bought it from iTunes a few months ago when i heard it played on a new series that Benjamin Bratt was starring in.


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1. Ok, here we go. I have no idea what i'm gonna say. I was wide awake last night for over two hours at 3 in the morning and my mind just raced. Does this ever happen to you?

2. It goes something like this: Is my hair appointment on Thursday at 5:00 or 5:30?... what should i bring to Easter dinner?... i hope i don't have to bring a salad.... did i file that that taxable fringe benefit report?.... I better change my W-4 form for next year...Brian and i need to make an appointment to get that last will and testament....what if my upcoming colonoscopy shows something....please God let my brother come out of this divorce okay.... if i run on Friday morning before work before our four day vacation trip to the river i could get away without running on the trip.... is there anybody's birthday i'm forgetting?...what is that noise?...
3. Wanda Sykes (love her!) does a whole bit on this and when i saw it i was like OMG....that is so me!
4. I am loving Barack Obama. I don't care what anyone says. (Including the Catholic priests.)
5. I'm loving Michelle too.
6. I am scared of all the shootings lately. Now it makes me want to buy a gun.
7. If i bought a gun. And i'm not saying i would. but if i did, you can betcha that i am taking lessons on how to shoot it. Because i do not get how in our country we need to take two tests to get a driver's license but anybody can have a baby and buy a gun and not have ANY TRAINING WHATSOEVER.
8. If you have seen me bowl. You don't want me shooting a loaded gun unless a sharpshooter instructor has been working with me for weeks and weeks and weeks.


9. I read the most amazing book last Sunday. I read it one day sitting outside in our rare sunny 70+ degree weather in April. It's called Little Bee. The author is Chris Cleave. I cannot tell you too much about but you can Amazon it and see what i am talking about. The book jacket tells readers not to give away too much of the story. It's not an easy book to read. But it made me laugh. And it made even someone like me cry. Little Bee would make a fabulous movie.

9. for umma. wherever she may be.
okay....allofyall. what's in YOUR HEAD?

Bad Boyfriend Story. Bad Girlfriend Story. Come tell yours.

MENU OF THE DAY:

In my glass: this REALLY good viognier/chardonnay blend from Chile called Estampa.


On iTunes: "Oh Sister" by Andrew Bird


On my bedstand: "How to Sleep Alone in A King Size Bed" (i forget the author)


On my mind: Why are there so many shootings lately?


Hair day: Not bad today. Actually why is it that everytime it's close to a haircut appointment i like my hair the most?


What's pissing me off: Nothing at the moment. But let's wait and see if i can get blogger to post this with no problems.


The best thing that happened this week: I bowled over my average in 2 games last Tuesday.





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Everyone has a Bad Boyfriend/Bad Girlfriend Story. Here is mine:
It was the summer of 1987. And it was a hot and sunny summer - i remember that we were in swimsuits on the lake in May. (Which hardly ever happens in the Northwest) . I had just turned 30 years old that year and had been living single for nearly three years after divorcing my first ex-husband. AND In 1987 I had just broken up a two year relationship with the guy (who would later become my second ex-husband in 1989...a whole 'nother story) when i met this Bad Boyfriend.

That's his photo above taken on the bow of his fancy ski boat. (He also turned 30 that year.) Isn't he fit? Yeah, he was. (He actually loved his own body more than mine.) He was (and probably still is) a total jock. He religiously lifted weights. He played rec softball. He was a great water skiier, and he played basketball. He had been a high school superstar and it soon became apparent to me that he was missing those high school glory days even at the age of 30.

But i overlooked all that cause i was coming off a breakup... and it was summer ...and he was so cute.

There were many red flags that i ignored because he was a stud. (Actually the photo above doesn't do him justice). It's embarrassing how many flags i ignored: He would call on a Friday to go out on a Friday night. He ordered milk in a fancy restaurant and at the same time put the napkin around his neck as a bib, even though he hadn't ordered lobster or ribs. And he was pretty cheap. He didn't own a corkscrew, but i was so impressed that he was able to open a bottle of wine with a screwdriver that i didn't care at the time. He didn't show up at one of his own family overnight get togethers where i had been invited (and arrived separately with his brother) and i was there the whole weekend with his family but without him.

But my favorite story is the Leather Jacket Story.

Like I said, he was a jock. He played softball nearly every weekend. Now, I loved to play softball, and had played third base on my brother's rec league myself years before, but truthfully ...i didn't really love watching it all that much. For one thing, he was the only one i knew on the team. And it's boring to cheer for only one player. But he liked having me come and watch him play. So i would go. We rode together and i would sit around alone for about an hour (cause i didn't know any of the other girlfriends or wives) before the fricking game even started. Sometimes i brought a book or a magazine.

So this one time we arrive at the field for his late afternoon/early evening game and when we get there he comes back and tells me that it is a doubleheader, which he had not known before. Inwardly i am groaning knowing i have to sit through, not one, but two games. But i put on my best girlfriend smile, and i cheer the team.

By the time the second game starts it is getting colder (most Northwest summers in the evening feel like winters in normal places) and i have not prepared because i thought it would be over before dark and it was sunny and warm when we left. THEN it starts to drizzle and now i'm getting wet AND i'm cold. Even though i am in jeans and light sweater i am starting to really get uncomfortable. So around the 4th or 5th inning of the second game i have had enough and cannot stand it anymore. So i go over to the Bad Boyfriend as he is sitting on the bench and talk to him through the fence. I tell him that i am cold and ask if i could have the keys to his car so i could get his coat to wear.

I remember that he has this totally irritated look on his face because i have interrupted his intense softball concentration and he says (and i am paraphrasing but this is exactly the message), "Well...hmmmm. i dunnnooo, you know.... cause it's a LEATHER coat and it's brand new and it's leather. And now it's starting to drizzle now and that would ruin it. Because it's leather." And then he pauses and asks, "Why didn't you bring your own coat?"

And so i got back to the bleachers and sit. And i freeze my ass off for about another hour. THAT would so never happen today. And it makes me pissed off at my younger self for not hailing a cab and getting the hell out of there right then at that moment. And not only that, even more embarrassing is i stuck it out with him for a few more weeks and only got out of it when i found out his old girlfriend was coming back around. The truth is he actually never was into us ever and had that book "He's Just Not That Into You" been published back then i am sure i would have learned must faster than those 12 weeks of summer with the Bad Boyfriend and would have ended within two.

And that's my Bad Boyfriend Story. So please allofyall, come tell your Bad Boyfriend/Bad Girlfriend Story. Even if it embarrasses you.

It's on my list of stuff to do: Change my blog. So here i go.

Menu of the Day:

iTunes: "The Freshman" by Verve Pipe

I feel good about: cleaning out my frig. (It took over two hours! ) It was also on my list of stuff to do.

Still Reading: "The Reader". (Still like it.)

Looking forward to: next weekend is out with my galpals, Julie and Sarah. Food, wine, talk, puzzles, walks, DVDs.

Best DVD i've seen lately: "Vicky Cristina Barcelona". It's a GOOD Woody Allen film.

Mood: Healthy, happy & relaxed.

1. Probably my favorite Woody Allen film of all is Annie Hall. I remember i wanted a white Volkswagen convertible beetle after seeing that film.

2. I also liked Hannah and Her Sisters. I seem to remember a funny scene when Michael Caine is holding a vinyl record album and he is having a passionate conversation with Barbara Hershey (who i think was his lover) and while making a gesture with his hands, the vinyl record album flies out of the sleeve across the room. But i'm not sure if i remember that correctly or not. I think I also remember the vinyl record he was holding was some really cool classical piece.

3. I used to so want to be Barbara Hershey. She's so beautiful. Of course, equeyaya relates, because Barbara Hershey is Sayid's girlfriend in real life.

4. One song i never ever get tired of: Celtic New Year by Van Morrison. We put this song on my parent's 50th wedding anniversary video that Brian and i made. But even though we had to listen to it over and over as we made that video i still love that song. It came on today when i was cleaning out my refrigerator and i could still imagine the photo images from that video as the song went on.

5. Where is Kylee? And where is ummagumma?

6. Here is a photo i took of my husband today. Instead of going to his regular $8 barber, I made him an appointment with my own stylist because i knew he would like her (and he did). He was doing that Rudy Guiliani thing and not liking it and it took someone new to get him to take the plunge for a near-buzz cut. I like it so much better and does he.

7. It cost him $32 more than his usual haircut cost, but he didn't mind. He told me there was a lot of hair on the floor but i am not exactly sure how. (Even so, i didn't laugh when he said it, but i kind of wanted to.)

8. As we get older i appreciate that there is a balance between the genders: Men have to worry about their hair loss and women worry about their wrinkles.

I may come back and add a #10 through #15. But right now i'm tired and i just wanted to be able to cross this off my list of stuff to do. I think the only thing i have left on it is to clean out my linen closet and write a letter to my aunt.

OK, please write and tell us what is on YOUR LIST of stuff to do?

Let's try this one more time...Menu of the Day

Menu of the Day:

Music: Counting Crows "Los Angeles".

Good Book: Revolutionary Road. It's about a sad and angry marriage in the 1950's. But even thought it's of that era it still feel real to anyone who has been divorced. At least i think it would.

I am so pissed: I just posted a whole new blog post. Got it all proofed and everything. It took nearly an hour and when i went to post it a big old blogger error came on and all was lost. So i'm afraid it will happen again, but i'll do my best to recreate it.

Barb, you are a genius! Thank you. I forgot to look into the Dashboard under DRAFT! They were both there.

What i did today: Is better described by what i DIDN'T do, which is i didn't do my taxes. Instead i watched four episodes in Season Four of The West Wing. And in watching the episode called "Red Haven is Burning" i wrote down this scene between Toby Zieger and Sam Seaborn. Sam Seaborn is played wonderfully by Rob Lowe. His character is an altruistic and honorable idealist who has left his job as White House Deputy Communications Director of the White House to run for Congress in California. Toby Ziegler plays his principled curmudgeon of a boss (I LOVE Toby's character too!) who has come out to take over the campaign. I had to keep rewinding the DVD to get this down, but i did. Here's the scene which brought me to tears. So much of what The West Wing is about is loyalty, friendship, and standing up for what you believe that it often brings me to tears and like i always say, "I'm no cryin' woman". In this scene they are in a bar and Sam is getting ready to give a speech that he doesn't believe will do anything to help his campaign. (It took me awhile, but i actually found the photo that went with this episode.)

Sam: "You have me preaching to the choir."

Toby: "Yeah."

Sam: "Why?"

Toby: "Because that's how you get them to sing."

Sam: "The story will be it's over." (meaning the campaign.)

Toby: "No the story will be that you had the guts to stick up for what you believe and that you didn't cut and run. And people are going to remember that. I'm going to make sure of it."

Sam: "I'm gonna lose."

Toby: "Yeah."

Sam: 'There's no chance of miracle."

Toby: "No."

Sam: "Then why are you here?"

Toby: "You're gonna lose. And you're gonna lose huge. They're gonna throw rocks at you next week and I wanted to be standing next to you when they did."

The Best Thing That Happened This Week: I tutor math on Fridays to three 4th graders at one of the poorest schools in our district. I was alittle bit late yesterday and could see through the window that the lights were off and the kids were on the floor. I slipped in quietly and assumed the same position on the floor they were in: yoga position, eyes closed, legs crossed and their elbows loosely propped on their knees with index and thumb in a meditating position. A woman in the center was speaking softly to them about sunlight coming out of their fingers and toes and colors. I kept one eye open to watch the kids. I was amazed that they were so into this and well behaved (I found out later it was their first experience with meditation in the classroom) and except for just a couple of kids quietly giggling, they were actually doing it! I could see my kids Jesus and Jodeleine across the room totally concentrating. But Valerie was sitting directly next to me and so she and i kept sneaking smiles at each other. When the instructor was done and asked if any of the students wanted to share, nearly half of their hands shot up in the air. Their big testing is next week and she explained if they did this meditation in the morning when they woke up it might take some of the stress away from them.

I am so impressed when i go into the schools and i also get so pissed off that we mostly don't hear the good stuff going on. And there is a lot of good stuff. Just get out there and you'll see for yourself. It's not all bad.

We are working on double multiplication tables. Stuff like 47 x 56, that sort of thing. And they have trouble sometimes mulitplying in the right order and when they do that i draw little tears on the white board next to the "forgotten" number. They LOVE it.

What i wish: That i could be a teacher of a class size of three. But even so, i think i still want $70,000 a year. I don't know how teachers do what they do.

What else i wish: That Nick from "What Not to Wear" could cut and style my hair.

OK, what's on YOUR Menu of the Day?