Stuff that Scares Me. Both Big and Little.

Autumn sky photo tonight

1. I did correct myself a couple of blogs back by saying ISIS did indeed scare me more than Ferguson after i said i was more scared of what was happening within our country among ourselves. Yes, ISIS does indeed scare me now. But i'm not going to change my life. hahaha... i'll still keep reading within the confines of my abode! They have to knock on my door to get me!

2. Actually, this might surprise some folks who know that i am liberal. I think i want a gun. I would learn how to use it. and when i say that i mean i would practice shooting for hours and hours and weeks and weeks so that i know what i'm doing. And hey, i have the time.

3. I have two brothers and right now both of them are unemployed. One builds houses and the federal funding for his contraction management job that was like Habitat for Humanity is done.

The other has always worked in middle management, by working his way up the top without a college degree and he was let go last April, one of the last to be let go in his company. Getting a similar job without a degree is not easy, especially not when you are past middle age. (No one in my family has a bachelors' college degree.... except my niece Kylee, who used to post here as Modern Hippie before she gave up all blogging.) So, I am afraid they won't get jobs.

4. I am afraid of stepping on slugs. I am afraid of slugs more than spiders.

5. I am afraid that my employer the Washington Education Association, state teachers' union won't be around for the length of my pension as it is now.

6. I've been trying to be more educated about retirement and investments and i keep hearing that we are headed for a new stock market crash. (Have y'all heard this too?)

7. I am afraid of having to give up running because i'm getting older. It's getting harder even as i am trying hard to stick with it.

8. I am afraid my dad is going to die before my mom.

9. I'm afraid my blog is going to die. Then i will be forced to go back and writing long hand in my journals. Which by the way i have to let louie know where those things are in the event of my death. Only right now i think they are in storage and i have no idea where that even is.

10. That something bad is going to happen to my family.

What are y'all afraid of? Big and little.

Notes to Self: 
Word Count: 449
Sunrise: 6:59 am
Sunset: 7:06 pm ( We have lost 24 minutes of daylight in one week.)
Temperature yesterday: 68/55
Books: Now on book 32. Finished reading Coming Clean and Son of a Gun. Both memoirs. Both really good reads.
What I'm procrastinating about: Getting stuff together for my financial planner meeting; organizing photos from my digital camera; cleaning my kitchen cupboards
Longest run this week: 45 minutes again. Still able to do that same route. Hurts, but not as much as before.

Small Irritations ...What are yours?

My Very Old Old Navy Weekend Pants. (I have had these for over 15 years and they are so comfortable that i'm fixing them up too.) 

Sometimes when the world feels crazy, such as with all of the ISIS stuff and the NFL domestic violence, and the fact that it appears we have a bigger race problem since Obama was elected, you have to decide to focus instead on the small dumb ass things that bug you that you might be able to control if you took the time.

Here's mine:

1. The kitchen sink trap filled with gunk. I am obsessive about cleaning it out. My husband never seems to see the crap in that little basket.

2. Bright lights, especially overhead lights with no dimmers in homes. I am all about the low glowy lights in my home. It makes me feel cozy.

3. My car door automatically locks when i get in it and i don't like that. I prefer to lock my own door. It's a control issue thing. It totally freaked me out when i first bought this Honda and it did this because my other Honda was so old and without this feature.

4. Technology upgrades. 'Nuf said.

5. My passive aggressive Comcast remote. I guess it's probably time to upgrade to a Smart TV, maybe it won't give me so much grief. It's not the batteries. It just intermittently decides when it wants to change channels.

6. The political gun control ads in our area are already all over the TV. It is going to be a deluge, worse than the genetically engineered foods initiative last year. I hated all those ads.

7. Apple - they are no longer going to make iPods. What happens if mine breaks or gets lost! i don't have a phone to hold my music. How will i run without out?

8. Our recycle company used to accept glass but quit quite awhile ago. Only paper, cardboard and aluminum. I have more bottles than all that other shit. Not only that they moved the recycle area further away from us so they don't even make it easy as they charge a lot.

9. My hair. It's too long, but i hate it when it's shorter too. At least when it's long i can put it all up and forget about it. But now the ends are bad so i'm going in to get some cut off Friday. I wish it was straighter and not so thick so i could cut it appropriately for my age without having it be a major maintenance issue.

That's actually the best i can do right now, i must be forgetting some things. I think i'm becoming too content to keep up this blog, my goal of once a week is harder now that i'm not working. Why is it when you have more time, you do less?

Notes to self: 
Word Count: 457
Sunrise: 6:49
Sunset: 7:20 (This means we have lost 43 minutes of daylight since my last post! :(
Temp yesterday hi/low: 76/54
Books: Reading #30 now: finished The Weight of Blood, Astonish Me and am now reading We Only Know So Much.
Longest Run: 45 minutes. Ran twice in a row today, haven't done that since July. Plantar faciitis still there, but getting better i think.

Since i don't like lying.

My old New Bohemian jean jacket - resurrected after it fell apart in the wash. 

yeah, my peace sign is crooked. 

I'm changing the blog even though i have no ideas for a topic. Here is what i did today so i can be true to what i said yesterday that i was going to do today :

1. Didn't sleep much at all last night. Finished reading a book call The Mothers... so-so.

2. Took a bath, but didn't wash my hair because i didn't have the energy.

3. Ate leftover cold quinoa out of the pan that Brian made for breakfast. (It was not exciting.)

4. Met with my friend Dick and his elderly parents who are looking at the condo across from me. I hope to have them as new neighbors so i talked up the place. (I should really look into selling real estate!)....though i can't say for sure they are moving in, so maybe not.

5. Checked Facebook about 84,000 times. Posted only a couple of times i think, about Susan T's online dating story.

6. Read California at the pool today when the sun came out. Was there nearly two hours all by myself. It was great!

7. Got too hot so came to my patio and embroidered some more on my jean jacket (as seen above) and my very old Old Navy pants.

8. Made a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner.

9. Helped neighbor Bob close up the pool for the evening.

10. Watched Jimmy Fallon on DVR - the one with Adam Levine.

11. Changed my blog.

What have y'all been doing?

Notes to Self:                                                                             
Sunrise: 6:32 am
Sunset: 7:46 pm
High/low temp: 69/52
Book Count: Since May i have read 28 books (I've been keeping a list). Recently The Mothers and Looking for Alaska, and Reconstructing Amelia.
Longest Run: 41 minutes
What I'm looking forward to: Flyfishing the Metoulis next week!
Word Count: 248

What our husbands do when we are away: Boo's Shoes and Ron's Salmon

Because my nickname for Brian is Boo, I call this photo "Boo's Shoes".

Ron's Salmon dinner (with some bones) and not one, but TWO vegetables! He took this photo and emailed it to Sarah. I also love the placemat. 

Brian emailed this  photo to me to prove how he sleeps "so contained" when i am not there. This is the bed after three days of not making it.

louie/Sarah and I went away for four days last week.

This trip was made possible because we're both retired and could take advantage of a last minute cancellation at one of our favorite places to vacation.

I retired April 4th, and louie/Sarah retired June 30th this year. She and I started our education careers the same year - 1979, in the same school. Sarah/louie was the Home Ec teacher.  I was the Student Accounts Secretary. We became good friends when we started running together. When we started running together we realized that neither one of us was happily married. And a few years after our running counsel we both filed for divorce (my first one) around the same time. Like retirement, i got out of my marriage first before she got out of hers.

(Sarah/louie is smarter, but i do things more quickly. lol!)

Since 1979 we have gone through:

• three divorces - (two of mine, one of hers); 
• the loss of three homes (two of mine, one of hers); 
• a fight for child custody (hers); 
• seven different jobs as we moved up the ladder (4 for her, 3 for me); 
• quite a few 10K running races; 
• a couple of sort of 'bad boys'; 
• many bottles of really crappy wine back in the 1980's, including one expensive French wine that cost $50 bottle, which we accidentally drank that was intended for my lawyer for doing my first divorce for free. 

We don't normally go places for four days without our 'now' (and might i add, 'final') husbands.

And i think our husbands missed us, which is pretty cool.

Brian was quite happy to see me when he got home from work and then he said,  "This is why i need you here.... look at my shoes!" ....And that is the photo above.

Oh yes, he went to work wearing two different shoes and didn't notice it until he got a hitch in his side because one shoe has a slightly higher heel. Thankfully he didn't have any administrative meetings!

I have blogged before about how my husband is not a fashion plate. Often he will come to me in the morning after he has dressed for work to ask me if his clothes look all right. Many times he mixes and matches seasonal clothes, i.e. wearing white linen in the dead of winter or a heavy sport coat in the heat of summer. I am no fashion plate myself, but at least i know not to do this!  But i never had to tell him his shoes didn't match.

Sarah's husband Ron decided he was going to make himself a Major Dinner, which is not usual for him! Sarah does the cooking in her home,  she's good at it, and she likes doing it. And though she left him one meal, there were still three more dinners.... So he went shopping.

What i liked most about Ron's dinner for himself was the two vegetables. Ron's loves sweets and desserts and i assumed that would be his dinner while Sarah was away! But he didn't follow Sarah's instructions about the bones and i guess he's lucky he didn't choke on one.

I loved that they sent us photos while we were away. Our husbands were bachelors for a long time and had never been married when they married us. So it shouldn't be surprising in this day that they did fend for themselves without us.

.... if you don't count Boo's shoes .


Notes to self: 
Sunrise: 6:21 am
Sunset: 8:01 pm
High/low temp: 89/54
Longest run: Yay! 43 minutes without too much pain. Ran in new shoes.
What I'm looking forward to: first Seahawks game - Sept. 4th
What I'm procrastinating about: Starting back up at the YMCA

No Specials, Just a Menu of the Day

 Menu of the Day....

My new project: my favorite old jean jacket ripped in the wash. I almost threw it out. 

My Bohemian Jacket: Work in progress

What I'm looking forward to: Port Townsend with louielouie/Sarah for four days! Sun, pool time, sewing projects, puzzles, reading, cooking, wines, movies! (hahaha... we know how to party don't we?)

Books: I am reading three at the same time: Seabiscuit; The Orphan Train; and Looking for Alaska. (Favorite summer read: Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty.)

Project: I am embroidering a favorite old jean jacket that fell apart the last time i washed it. Something i loved doing in high school.  Sewing for hours on my patio, listening to music is very cathartic to me.

In the News: Isis and Ferguson. I don't know what to think so i won't say anything. I'll just put it here for history. I might be more frightened by what's happening in Ferguson. What do y'all think?

What I'm procrastinating about: Working on my Italy photos.

Product Endorsement: Pandora One radio. For less than $5 a month you can stream music you love with no commercials!

What's bugging me: Insomnia bites! Retirement hasn't helped me sleep better. I thought when i stopped working it would. Last night i couldn't shut my brain off for hours and didn't fall asleep until after 3:00 am and this was after taking an Ibuprofen PM, eating early, drinking nothing but seltzer water, and sewing before bed.

Good thing about that: I don't care so much anymore if i don't sleep, i can wake up anytime that i want to! (Don't call me before 9:00 am!)

Observation: Today i felt autumn in the air for the first time. We've had a glorious summer with many hot days, but there was a change today. And i liked it. Partly because i'm excited about the Seahawks.

What's occurred to me: Since i have not been working i feel myself feeling more content! (Union work is draining and negative and is soul sucking after awhile.) But I also worry that i've lost a bit of my mojo and enthusiasm for political work and my phone is ringing a lot right now from the Democrats.  I think i am the kind of person who is driven only by being against something. I wonder how i used to do so much when i worked full-time. Now i have all the time in the world, but no motivation. (I think i need another George W. Bush to get me going again.)

Notes to Self: 
Running: Bought new Brooks Adrenaline from Fleet Feet shoes two weeks ago. (Also Super Feet inserts.) My plantar fasciitis is still bad, not sure they will work. I'm running only every two days and it hurts bad the next day. Ran 37 minutes tonight.
Sunset: 8:16 pm yesterday
Sunrise: 6:11 am
Temp: 85/56
Weight: Since i've had trouble running I'm over my 'magic weight' by two pounds. I haven't had to worry about that for years. That's how good running is!
Word Count: 394

Old Fashioned Random Homemade Fresca Musings

Homemade Fresca: pureed cantaloupe, fresh squeeze limes, a dash of sugar and salt; seltzer water

Like the Gumbo YaYa message board days, only i'm not drinking chardonnay. I am drinking a homemade recipe that is supposed to be like Fresca.

1. It isn't. But it's good.

2. Damn it, first Phillip Seymour Hoffman and now Robin Williams. I don't think i will ever understand depression. It runs in my family, even outside my immediate family with first cousins...(all on my mother's side). I don't know why it missed me but i'm so thankful and feel blessed that it did. I think my favorite movie of Robin Williams is Good Will Hunting. I always liked it when he played a serious role. Even that One Hour Photo one too, which was creepy. Sometimes he was too manic for me to enjoy during talk shows or late night TV. (Jim Carrey feels the same way to me.)

3. I welcomed the rain today. I bitch about it all winter when it rains for 10 days in a row. But i have to admit after about 10 days of sunshine i am ready for rain. I like the coziness of it.

4. I bought new running shoes with the idea that it might be my cure for plantar fasciitis issue. My doctor gave me some physical therapy exercises too which i will do. Already i am three pounds over my normal weight from not running. That bums me out a lot.

5. Here is how i diet: It has always worked for me. (Maybe i have mentioned this here before, i can't remember.) I have what i call a "magic weight" where i feel very comfortable in my jeans and clothes. When i get over that "magic weight" i adjust. I either go for a longer run, cook a healthier dinner. And i don't pour any wine. Today i can't go for a run still but I did cook a healthy dinner with no carbs, and while i really wanted a glass of wine while cooking (since it's been a few days of being good) i didn't because i am over my magic weight. I thought for sure i would be under!

6. I am going for a run tomorrow no matter what!

7. I am also trying to not drink so much Fresca so i made my own using a recipe i found online. It called for a whole canteloup pureed and then strained. Limes and seltzer water. I only used a tiny bit of sugar. It was pretty good. But it didn't make a lot and it took a long while.

8. If this were a cocktail i might be more inclined to make it more often and spend the money.

9. Damn, blogging on this iPad is very difficult. But Brian is doing work stuff on the iMac desktop. So i'll stop for now and come back and edit this. As i type right now i can't see it because the page doesn't scroll until i hit return and then i only see part of it.

Stuff i Write in My Book Journal

My Book Journal. I liked this quote so much i didn't know i had written it out twice.

I like reading books more than drinking wine. (Which is saying a lot. )

I could probably give up coffee.
...running
...TV
...french fries and potato chips

BEFORE i could ever give up books!

This summer i have already read 23 books, a record amount of books for me in one season -due in part to insomnia and the fact that i am retired and no longer stress out if i can't sleep. SO i happily read  often for one or two hours at 2 or 3 in the morning.

And often when i am reading i write out pieces that speak to me. I've been doing this since 1996, when louie/Sarah gave me a journal for my birthday that year.  Here is a sampling of what i have thought was notable in previous books I have read:

1. Animal Dreams is written by Barbara Kingsolver,  a real favorite author of mine in the 90's.  This is what i wrote from that novel - (it's the character Cosima reading part of her sister Hallie's letter at Hallie's funeral):

"The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. What i want is so simple. I almost can't say it: 

*elementary kindness
*enough to eat
*enought to go around
*the possibility that kids might one day grow up to be neither the destroyers or the destroyed. "

(That last one slays me.) I also do not need too much. I don't need a big house, a big salary, lots of clothes and shoes. I just want enough so that i am not wanting. 

2. "I need this rush. This feeling of exhilaration. I run because it makes me feel in control of my life. Like there is no finish line." 

(from the book How Stella Got Her Groove Back). This describes perfectly to me about why I run, even as i do not love running. 

3. "It was then I knew that often the greatest of sins are not the things we do, but the things we fail to do. "  

Chasing Grace by Martha Manning, (read in 1996), is a memoir about growing up Catholic which i also related to. 

4. "Survivors are people who move purposefully toward either resolution or acceptance."

This i actually read in Runners World magazine in 1997. I think it might be the best advice anyone can give to someone who seems to be constantly struggling.

(If i can paraphrase it in jocucina terms: "Fix it or Get the Fuck Out".)   

I can no longer be a friend to anyone who will not subscribe to this. 

5. #4 above goes along with this other entry i made in 1999:

"Eggs Should Not Dance With Stones". 

It's a quote by Charlie Chan that i got out of the Trivia Column in the News Tribune and for years and years i had it on my white board in my office at my union job. 

6. I loved the book Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. Here is what i wrote out in 1999 from that book: 

"Watching my father, I've seen how you can't learn all there is to know. Watching my father, I've seen how you can't learn anything when you're trying to look like the smartest person in the room." 

7. I must have liked this quote below so much because i  i wrote it out twice over different years because i forgot i had written it out before, (first in 2009 and again in 2010). It's a quote by Herbie Cohen, who was a music producer - for artists like Linda Rondstand and Frank Zappa.  The only reason i know this is because i wikipedia-ed him before i put this quote up on Facebook (just in case Herb turned out to be some kind of Nazi or something.)

"Friends are chosen people. You stay friends with someone over a long period of time because they make you feel better than you are."

I have lost some friends along the way for different reasons, but i think the ones i let go most easily is probably because of the stone vs. egg quote above.



Do y'all keep a journal of stuff like this? If so, what is in it? It could even be a great bumper sticker quote.