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| The only person i trust who doesn't cuss. |
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Above is the link to a forgotten blog post from Feb. 2010 blog post that i was recently re-reading because i could see from the stats it had some views. I think it's pretty funny and i thought it was a subject revisiting. So let's do this.
1. I'm not sure i believe the low key attention to North Korea's threats. Can those missiles really reach us? I'm not comforted by Seth Myer's joke on Weekend Update about the missile and his warning.... "to the middle of the ocean". We live right near Ft. Lewis military base.
Disclaimer:
I do trust that something is being done to make sure this doesn't happen, only we aren't being told.
2. This might be redundant from the link above, i can't remember...but i distrust people who NEVER cuss. My sister in law on my husband's side when she wants to say something bad to someone uses this phrase: 'poop on you'. I think that is far worse than 'fuck you'. I HATE the word or image of poop. I hate the image of most people, (not all people...but most...you know who i mean....) having sex too, but i never equate the f-word with that anyway, do you?
Disclaimer:
However, i hate when people use the f-word constantly. We have a union president in our office who is f-ing this and f-ing that in his everyday talk. He has two deaf children. I wondered if that's why he does this. Also i wouldn't mind picturing the image of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie having sex. Or Johnny Depp with anybody.)
3. I distrust almost everything my local Channel 5 news anchor Jean Enersen when she does her "Health Link" bit at the end of the broadcast. She looks anorexic and far from healthy. I was actually trying to find a photo of her to put up to support this but i can't because it's not out there. I swear King 5 News is making sure that her images online have been PhotoShopped her to put weight ON her. I couldn't even find a photo or video of her doing "Health Link" on their website.
Disclaimer:
i love that Jean Enersen is still on the air. ( I just wish she would eat a breakfast like i just did: a croissant sandwich with bacon. ) Jean was around when i moved here in 1974 and i've said it before, i used to have a girl crush on her back then.
4. My Knee. My nearly 56 year old left knee has begun to hurt during this half marathon training. I spent $40 something on a a knee brace and something called 'kinetic tape' (i think that's what it's called). I do not trust that these are really going to help my knee and I'm going to get a really weird tan line for nothing.
Disclaimer:
My right knee is also nearly 56 years old.
5. My favorite authors. I don't trust that my favorite authors will always write books that i will love. I have been disappointed in John Irving, Rebecca Wells, Pat Conroy, Stephanie Kallos (who wrote "Broken for You") and to some degree even Richard Russo. The prize for disappointment goes to Pat Conroy for his last book "South of Broad". He took something like 15 years to write it and i hated every character in that book and gave it away immediately to my brother as an ornament for his empty book shelf.
Disclaimer:
I'm glad that they at least try. It always bothered me that Harper Lee didn't come out with something else.
6. Flipped Houses. I love to watch the HG Channel and shows about flips. I still look for houses online, though we are not in the market to buy one anymore. But every time i see one that is move-in ready and has everything i like, i notice the dates on Zillow show that the previous sold date and the listing are only a few months apart. And the previous sold price is far less than the now asking price. That's a flip. Then I start thinking of it as 'lipstick on a pig' and the cosmetics are hiding something sinister, like mold, dry rot, and rodents living in the attic and serial killer neighbors and a meth lab down the street.
Disclaimer:
I sometimes get ideas on how to decorate with these shows and photos online of the houses.
I'll try and come up with a photo later for this. For now, what do y'all distrust? And nobody can say "Fox News" because that's a given.
5 comments:
I was going to put up a photo of Kim jon whatever his name but i can't stand looking at his face and i figured y'all wouldn't like it either. And i looked again but can't find a too skinny photo of Jean. So we'll have to go with Church Lady. Because my knees are not very photogenic!
My right shoulder will be 60 soon, 3 surgeries on and it feels every change in weather and every time the barometer makes a move. (My left shoulder, hereto untouched just aches in compassion to it's sister). I saw some of that tape at Big 5 and will ask my PT about it on Tuesday when I go in for my poor tired neck. (I eat klonopin daily for it's off label use as a muscle relaxant. It's a cousin to Valium which no one will Rx for me because they are scared. )
I live 3 miles from the ocean. I hope the reports are right and the missiles would fall short of the coastal areas. I find it extraordinary that besides all this rhetoric, Hitler like mass meetings, Koryo Tours is still sponsoring Western Tourists on sightseeing tours of the DPRK. You'd think if things were so awful, they'd cancel all of those. I know some people who've done aviation tours to fly on near dinosaur airplanes there. Scary shit.
Our ABC health reporter Dianah Adohr or what ever looks like a bulimic. I don't find her advice very appealing and it doesn't help she'll go to a gym with 20 somethings who weigh less than I ever did. Why not show a place like Curves with real sized women sweating. When the husband goes back to work I am joining a gym. Got to.
I'm going to miss Roger Eberts voice coming from his blog and twitter. Even through his illness he kept up the commentary,
My husband may have a job soon. I thank all the deities including the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his blessed tendrils if it happens.
I had a wonderful trip and now this week my baby is on a Disney Cruise. She promised not to have a 600$ bar bill on this one. LOL.
Peace.
Hey amulbunny! Let me know if that tape works for your neck. I used it on my knee for a long run on Saturday and unlike the last time i did that long run, i was not limping and it wasn't aching for days. So maybe there is something to it, or my knees are just getting used to it.
I forgot to think about tsunamis if the missiles hit the ocean! You just reminded me of that.
I'm glad you brought up Roger Ebert. I constantly check IMBd on my Kindlefire when i find a movie on one of those encore channels and he is always the first one i read. I am going to miss him. He really was the best and i trusted his reviews the most.
you have to tell me what The Flying Spaghetti Monster means. Did your husband get the job?
Hmmm $600 bar bill? How many days was that cruise???? hahahahaha.
I distrust: All diet and exercise* claims. The only weight I ever lost was giving birth, and the weight lost in no way compared to the 40+ pounds in weight gain. I wouldn’t actually know for sure diet and exercise don’t work; don’t trust either enough to try.
*except I sort of trust Jillian a little. At least I’m afraid to quit her. I figure even if I didn’t lose weight (30 pounds in 30 days) when I started, I would gain 30 pounds if I stopped.
I distrust: The cosmetic ladies at the mall*, at your door, or at a “party”. They all claim to make you look prettier, younger and wrinkle and zit free. Not sure if any thing really works to prevent or repair skin woes; just a matter of covering it all up – how thick does it need to be? Just don’t trust the concept, however I’ve used Neutrogena since junior high, and am afraid to quit.
*except the one Estee Lauder lady at Nordstrom’s at the Tacoma Mall. She is the best!
I distrust: Compliments
I don't trust this FREAKING iMac Mouse. I did one little wiggle and the whole fucking thing disappeared. I hate this mouse soooo much.
1. I don't trust that Clarisonic machine that the Nordstrom makeup clerks try to sell you. it is very expensive and i figure if it really did work at least some of my cyber friends or friends who live here would have mentioned it by now. At least one or two. Nobody i know has bought this.
2. I don't trust people i don't know well who tell me "Trust me...." it's sort of like people who say "I'm no racist...." and then proceed to say something racist. It's like people who tell me they are super good at their jobs. If you are all those things, trustworthy, tolerant and highly efficient, you don't usually go around telling folks you don't know well those things.
3. Of course when i have a couple of glasses of wine in me i tend to brag and say exactly this kind of shit.
4. I don't trust some compliments either. It really depends on who is giving them. the best worst compliment i ever got was from Karen B. from Mann (Remember her, louie?) She was at the main office counter once and i could feel her studying me and then she said, "You know you could be a model if you didn't have bad skin." hahahaha....
5. I wanted to say to her, "And you could be a nice person if you weren't such a bitch!" Of course i didn't think of THAT until just now, 35 years later.
6. I trust Jillian's workouts to work. I just don't like her and i don't want to do them.
7. I don't trust that there is every any measurable tequila in a house margarita. I never order those anymore. Plus you know it's crap tequila too.
By the way, louie...are you talking about Betty? The fashionable older woman with the dark dark dyed hair at the Estee counter? Her name is Betty i really think. I love her! But i'm using Clinique Even Better Foundation these days so i don't see her much anymore.
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